To lock DP in a room of wasps

[OhMrGove]

Lighthearted.

On holiday with DP. Gorgeous place, Slovenia Alps.

He is driving me insane with 'wasp phobia'. Flapping, jumping up, moving away... Argh. He's 6"3 with a serious job. GET A GRIP!!!

WIBU to force him into a box of them to face this fear and realise sitting still tends to make them go away or am I just a big mean cow?

Oh he knows. He knows.

The fucker. He knows non MH induced melodrama doesn't cut it with me cause of my day job (clin psych).

He's so together otherwise and seriously good in bed or I would actually leave him.

Going to throw wasps at him til he grows a pair

Seb - THEYRE ALL AT LAKE BLED!!!

if he is seriously good in bed then quite honestly he could flap day and night as far as I'm concerned.

Everyone has one saving grace ;-)

Thinking he was going to need protecting when he returned home, but looks like he's got it covered

I have a wasp phobia and I have been stung. It just made it worse! Stood on a bunch of them when I was 12 and they flew up my trousers, then panicked when I walked, the bastards. I WAS standing still and/or walking calmly, so now I just run. I have never been stung when I run. I'm less frightened of bees because I understand them more. Some kind person PMed me a year or two back with some wasp psychology which I think would help, if I can only overcome my fear long enough to read it

I am phobic of anything sharp, to be fair. Needles and dentists also terrify me and I am overcautious with knives and broken glass. But being hit with a blunt object is far less terrifying. DH's 6 foot friend smashed into me on a zip wire the other day and obviously it wasn't a barrel of laughs, but it was fine.

I'm abroad for a week during which he will do all my ironing and clean the flat. Not all bad, flappy fucker

Could you fwd the wasp psychology Bertie?

We are kindred spirits OhMr Heaven help him if he encounters giant hornets

I observed DH yesterday giving it large like a Matador fighting an imaginery giant ferocious bull. The reality was him with a tea towel apparently fending off a wasp which I couldn't even see anyway.

just to say

I KNOW its meant to be light-hearted but I hate thread titles with torture-y titles

we cannot on the one hand take the stance we do against domestic abuse, and then condone titles like this

if a man posted this- would be outrage

I know you are jesting, but it would be better to jest without such a violent sounding title

sorry OP, this is about the 10th time I have seen this and had to comment

op what is the motivation behind the flapping then? You say he isn't phobic...but what else would possess a grown up to make a total tit of themselves in public and risk losing your (presumably worthwhile) affections?

I have had panic attacks in the face of wasps...and I have been able to ignore them completely (possibly with the aid of some anti-anxiety tablets that were in my system for a whole separate reason).

I can tell you categorically that no-one would chose to experience the fear and panic and no-one would chose to look silly, useless and incompetent in front of others.

Also hornets are more like bees in terms of their lack of interest in humans...I would definitely prefer being stuck with a hornet than a wasp!

YABU. Wasps are the spawn of the devil, everyone knows that!

A younger relative had hypnotherapy privately for a phobia - 4 sessions is all it took. I think it was less than £200.

Might be worth considering for those of you who have issues ( ignores the fact that she is terrified of some other animals).

Utter bullshit that if you stay still you won't get stung. My DH used to smugly say that and he has been stung twice - the second time it swelled up hugely.

They're evil little bastards and don't give a shit whether you stay still or not. That said, despite my hatred irrational fear of them, anyone who flaps an angry wasp in my direction may be taking their life in their hands.

I'm a bit better recently, if I know they aren't interested in me then I can be calmer but I don't like being "trapped", I need to be able to get away. I know realistically it's not like they are actually cornering me but I panic if cornered.

I don't flap AT them because I don't want to antagonise them but I will move away and if I don't notice until one is close then I will move away shriekingly and leap over obstacles to do so.

Will try and copy the wasp psychology! :)

Bertie, I know a lot about wasps generally, partly as I am into insects, partly because of my allergy, so maybe the following will be helpful?

Queens emerge in Spring, after hibernating, they are the huge wasps you might see around in late April or May, they are highly unlikely to sting unless you actually crush one, they are too busy feeding and finding a nest site. Once they have made a small nest and laid a few eggs, they feed the grubs that emerge on insects, so they are out foraging for insects in the flower beds, and aren't interested in people or sweet food.

The grubs hatch as adult wasps who then take over all care for grubs while the Queen stays in the nest. All adult wasps can only eat nectar, the grubs only eat meat, so while the nest is still producing grubs the wasps will go for meaty things on a barbecue. They will sting to defend a nest or if threatened, and they do get annoyed if you block the flight path from the nest, so if you know where a nest is, keep to the side of it.

Later in the Summer the nest breaks down as it produces next years queens, they mate with the males, and then no more grubs are hatched. The queens find a spot to hibernate, the males hang about drinking nectar from flowers, or anything sugary, and they love alcohol eg rotting fruit which makes them a bit dopey and sting happy. As the nectar sources dry up and the weather gets colder, the males die of cold and hunger. Then it all starts again the following year.

At the allergy clinic they tell you not to wear flowery prints, perfume, or sandals anywhere where there might be wasps about, and not to walk about barefoot. Also no bright colours. All that minimises the chances of you being stung. And hairspray acts as a good repellent, it sticks their wings, so they avoid it and will fly away if you spray it about. (or get stuck and fall to the ground). Hope all that helps a bit. Even though I am terrified of getting stung because of my allergy, wasps are interesting creatures. They are great pollinators and they eat a lot of other pest insects like horse flies.
Good wishes, hellymelly

op am hoping you are not being serious with your posts. if you are then I think he's better off without you. as another six foot three male with an imense fear of wasps I am staggered by the lack of empathy you are showing here.i hope someone is totally unsympathetic the next time you are exposed to something that freaks you out.if the roles were reversed bet people wouldnt say same thing.

op, my boss is a 6 ft 4 male with a "serious" job. He's phobic of wasps and bees, no one would dare make posts like yours because we can all empathise with him, we all have things that we're a scared of. To be so dismissive because you don't share the panic feeling, the fear about this is just nasty. Every one is different and just because you don't feel how he does, doesn't make his feelings any less important. as for the poster who said about training him... I hope your partner trains you're behaviour.

YABU maybe you should get therapy for your lack of empathy

My impression, not based on any particular knowledge, is that being plagued by wasps means that you're not that far from a nest - when we can't have a bbq without being invaded by them, there is always a nest somewhere around the place. Some years we get lucky and can eat outside in peace.
Anyone know how far wasps travel from their nests?

You're a Clinical Psych. who has determined his behaviour is not due to a phobia, so why is he behaving like this? I would say to annoy you but the buying of dress etc and apologetic behaviour suggests not. Therefore I haven't a clue if you're being unreasonable or not, as can't make head nor tail of this????

Dh once was so obsessed with killing a wasp he twatted his heavily pregnant wife's leg with on of those electric zap bits.

This resulted in agony and burst veins and a limp that lasted six weeks.

He has improved since that little incident.

I'm on team throw the ops dh to the wasps.

300-1000 yards according to google.

Also hornets are more like bees in terms of their lack of interest in humans...I would definitely prefer being stuck with a hornet than a wasp!

But the point is, at least in the case of my DH, he isn't worried about what they might do to him, he isn't phobic or scared, he just acts like a tit.
I've gone along with the lighthearted theme because I know him and witness how he behaves. That's not to say that I'm unsympathetic to anyone who is phobic or may have a bad medical reaction.
Someone we know was acquainted with someone who died after being stung, so in those terms I understand the seriousness, but then again, it's another good reason not to flap and fight with something best avoided or left in peace.