Was IBU...I thought it was obvious?!?

[waitaminutenow]

So long story short we met up with bil/sil and their children yesterday and had a lovely day. I'm expecting no2, we were having general chit chat about children and sil asked if I was going to have another before the 'cut off' so we can get tax credits etc etc. I laughed (loudly) and said "noooo, we don't get anything (not even cb) anyway so it makes no difference". The shock was obvious on her face, and she said "really!!"
The conversation soon ended. Hubby thinks I should have just said no and not divulged, I think I thought it was obvious (that we didn't receive) to be honest and I had just blurted it out before I had the chance to think. I know hubby doesn't like to talk money, but she asked...I just answered honestly! Should I have said nothing/lied???

It's not 60k threshold at all. Both TC and CB are cut off before/as you hit higher rate tax which is about £42k ish. It's hardly a luxury lifestyle though if you are around this mark as you tax shoots up and your top ups vanish which can leave you worse off than someone on 35k! (as discovered the hard way...)

I laugh if someone asks me if I'm having another kid btw don't think that's anything to do with what she said after. Seems normal to me.

"Are you having another kid for benefits?"
"Another kid? insert laugh noooooo."
Then add "we don't get benefits anyway so makes no odds" as a general answer to the "for benefits" bit.

Bit awkward as it's his family and therefore he should probably be the one to disclose earnings.

However these things are potentially always awkward especially if people have the wrong idea - she obviously wasn't expecting the answer you gave which you couldn't have anticipates.

Anyway it's done now and you didn't do anything wrong.

It's a funny old world... So many posters anxious to reassure the op that there's no shame in not claiming benefits

amy

CB is not cut off at 42k

No idea about TC

I don't see anything wrong with what you said

I don't think you were being any more U in your response than she was by asking.
It wouldn't have made sense to be all cagey or tell a lie. In my opinion, if it isn't to applicable to you then that's the only possible answer.

the added bit about cb could be seen as a boast eg one of us earns way more than 60k.
was her q about tax credits just meant as a bit of a joke surely anyway, as you'd have to act pretty quick with a newborn to have a third, plus presumably you earn obviously more than 25k if you actually earn >60k.
or have they just not got kids, hence a bit clueless?

it is becoming a stealth boast in general though, as was intendeÄ

YANBU at all!

Sorry op

Yanbu

Here have a I bought it using my tax credits and my child benefit because I'm one of those poor people that sometimes come on mn

I only think it's boastful (and therefore deserving of a ) if the OP had said something like "CB and TC? Good god, no, we earn faaaaar too much to be worrying about that sort of thing." Simply stating that TC weren't applicable to their situation was just, well, a statement of fact

Damn! Just realized I have wasted "my first biscuit"!

I mentioned to SIL (own business, two Mercs, 6 bed house, kids at private school) that I was p**d off thatbecause DH just promoted public sector mgt job, meant we lost child credits. She smugly replied that her and DBIL PAID THEMSELVES BELOW levels so still got all benefits and were using them to pay for kids trust funds and pensions.grrrr

Because it's a total none issue. Op is reading into it way too much

However that is maybe but it's clearly upset/bothered her purple maybe she posted to get some perspective, maybe she wanted reassurance, maybe she was trying to work out if other people felt the same way as her husband and she'd over stepped the line, maybe she was trying to work out why her sil would make such a weird comment as did you do it so you'd get benefits.

Who knows, but just cos you think it's a non event doesn't mean other people or the OP do! You however chose to comment on a topic your not interested in why did you bother posting?!

Imagine asking someone if they're planning to have a child before benefits are cut. She should be the one cringing at her behaviour not you OP.

Surely if you're planning a child around whether a benefit will still be in place, you really can't afford that child? YWNBU. She was.

It's a fact FFS. Why feel embarrassed or ashamed? Were you supposed to lie or side step the conversation?

I literally cannot believe there are places in this country where people can be made to feel ashamed for NOT being eligible for benefit.

It doesn't make sense to me anyway. Is it definitely new babies or new claims? Because new claims can mean anything.

Capricorn, I was made to feel bad for having the audacity to have a part time job when I didn't have to.

It's insane out there.

People are less ashamed to say they receive benefits.

And that's precisely why the system needs an overhaul, Twinkle. It's become the norm, not a temporary dig out in times of need.

Eh, I think the whole conversation sounds a bit strange. It would be pretty bizarre to rush to have another child just in order to get child benefit, but then I would also assume that almost everyone I spoke to who had a child would be getting CB because you have to have an extremely high income not to (like top 10% of UK, and most people I know are definitely not going to be even approaching that), so it would be very odd for someone to automatically know you don't get it.