AIBU saying no to DP wanting holiday 1 week after starting nursery

[Coffeemorris]

My DD (3yrs next month) is starting nursery in Sept. My DP wants us to go on holiday a week or two after she starts nursery, for 2 or 3 weeks. I thought it would be too disruptive for her. And wouldn't the nursery look unfavourably on it? Or AIBU? He's always leaving holiday decisions to the last minute grrr

I'm about to attempt toilet training DD in time for nursery too (!!) so a holiday so soon after giving up nappies seems nightmarish. I'm worried we'll regress back to nappies while we're away.

Can't you just start a few weeks later?

well will you get another chance for a holiday? To be honest, I don't think that seems like a great reason to give up on a holiday, and I'd be upset if I was your DP. (Presuming DP pulls his weight in looking after DD and would do so on the holiday wrt nappies or the lack thereof.) Or can't you go a bit sooner or later? If this is the only time that's practicable for some reason, I'd say just go.

Yanbu it would be really bad for settling in. Fine to have the holiday but don't start dd at nursery till after you get back.

Nursery don't care as long as they get paid.
It sounds like a good time to go away. Still hot if abroad and cheap and quiet.

Tbh I would make the most of term time holiday prices!
However nursery may still want you to pay for the weeks you are missing as your DD is still taking up a place whether she is physically there or not.
Other than this I can't imagine any other real issues, the nursery will be well used to children starting throughout the year.

As it's nursery so therefore doesn't matter when she starts, book the holiday in term time, enjoy yourself (and the money you save) and send he when you get back. Don't say no, YWBU for that ImO

I would go. School isn't compulsory at that age and our school wouldn't have given it a second thought.

Personally I would go, unless you can put it off by just a couple of weeks. If it's going to be months before you will be able to go I would defintley go then.

I would be taking full advantage of term time holidays right now if I were you. Make the most of it. Like a previous poster said, start her later.

Depends on the child. Ds1 would have been fine taking a break or starting late (they went to nursery attached to school so same kids as reception)Ds2 is summer baby so one of the youngest starting nursery. He really struggled to settle until xmas so no way would I have took him out for a holiday. It was bad enough over Xmas getting him to go back in january

I would go in the first 2-3 weeks of term then send her once I got back tbh or else move the holiday and do it closer to Christmas break.

If it's a school nursery they might well stagger starts anyway, ours does with 2 or 3 children starting every day and not up to full capacity till 2 weeks in. In which case if you went in the first 2 weeks she wouldn't really miss anything.

I wouldn't go 2 weeks after starting nursery personally as it would have been too disruptive for DD (she started nursery last year).

Does the nursery have a staggered start or do all the new children start at the same time? My concern with delaying her start and taking the first two weeks as a holiday would be she be joining as the other kids would getting settled in.

I agree that you don't need to worry about a term time holiday during nursery though, just not sure about taking a holiday in September.

If you were starting at the nursery where I work, I would suggest that you delay starting nursery until after you return from your holiday. I think it would be very disruptive for your child to attend for one or two weeks, then be away for 3 weeks, and then come back again and probably have to start with settling in sessions again. Just start them later.

Thanks this is really helpful. I might see if we can start her 2 weeks later. No, DP has only changed about 5 nappies since DD was born!

Just go, and start after the holiday. You might be able to get a refund for those weeks if changing start date but if not just go anyway. Holidays are precious.

Unfair on the child. Just start nursery after the holiday.

I'd move nursery start back until you're home. I wouldn't pass up on a holiday but wouldn't want to put my child in nursery for just a few weeks then take them out again before they are properly settled

5 nappies in three years?? Really?

Thanks - almost a consensus for starting late. But would it be okay to start 5 weeks late? DH wants to go for 3 weeks and is not budging on dates.
I kid you not about nappies. I do pretty much anything involving DD. Can be such a drag! It's so different to my own father, but very similar to his upbringing. But at least he has a decent bond with DD as they're similar personalities. And he's not put any pressure on me to return to work.
And he cooks every night which I really like

I meant to say pretty much everything involving DD

I would delay nursery start date.

I did it with DD a week after she started. She had no problems settling in before or after we got back. Nursery were happy with it, nursery isn't mandatory so really they have no say. I'd go if I were you.

DD was potty trained and there was no regression whilst away.

What kind of nursery is it? If a private childcare nursery then no problem delaying. If it's a state school based pre-school they might be a bit about missing so much and worried about settling but it should be ok. If it's a private school pre-prep then they may not allow it you'd have to ask.

Just to add if you going to a hot place it's a lovely time to be out of nappies as so warm accidents aren't as miserable as at home. My ds decided after two weeks in lanzarote being in early training that he was not wearing a nappy home on the flight. He literally never looked back. So you will be tied by school for the next many many years so off you go. Three weeks in sunshine cannot be beaten for little ones.

Are you sure that 3 weeks on holiday with a 3 year old won't drive you or your DP slightly crazy?