Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be raging about how many people don't consider their pets a long-term commitment?

133 replies

KitKat1985 · 28/07/2015 08:17

Today's example: Someone I know on Facebook (someone I went to school with years ago, rather than a friend per se) posted yesterday evening excitedly that she got a puppy yesterday. No word of a lie this morning she is advertising it for sale because it 'doesn't get on with the cat'. Would you not think about how a puppy and cat would mix before you got a puppy? And if they didn't get along wouldn't you put a bit of effort in giving them time to get used to each other, rather than just 1 night? The poor thing will probably end up at an animal shelter or similar, or sold to some random who may or may not take good care of it.

I also had a work colleague who got through about 3 dogs in one year by taking on each one and then getting rid of each of them for various reasons (too noisy, needs too much walking etc) apparently having learnt nothing from each experience that dogs are actually a big commitment and can be hard work, and that maybe she shouldn't be taking one on unless she can make it's needs.

It leaves me so angry and sad. All the local animal shelters around here are full of abandoned pets that people have lost interest in. AIBU to think that if you take on a pet that it should (unless in exceptional circumstances) be a commitment to look after that animal for all it's life, and that should put some thought beforehand into how you would cope if your circumstances change etc?

OP posts:
HelenaDove · 28/07/2015 18:35

It affected me when the neighbours snake got into my flat bonkers.

Original poster
KitKat1985 · 28/07/2015 18:37

youareallbonkers I have plenty of real worries thanks, but I do hate to see animals mistreated and poorly looked after too, because I'm not an entirely self-absorbed human either.

OP posts:
kali110 · 28/07/2015 19:01

I have real worries however it upsets me to see animals abused and shoved in rescues!
Yanbu at all op. My partner and i have just moved in with our 2 cats, 2 rabbits, hedgehog and guinea pigs. The hedgehog and guinea pig were the only ones that we actually bought.
The rest were peoples unwanted pets!my poor cats were strays.
Year ago i was put on long term sick due to my disability so things are very tight. Me and dp forgo luxuries so are pets eat. If it was between them eating or us we would feed them first.
They are old cats, one especially is temperamental no doubt would be pts if he went to a shelter.
When we have kids they will not be going anywhere.
I was bought up with a dog and we were treated as both equally as important.
My mil has 2 stray cats but there are loads in our area. I don't understand how people can take a pet on, love it and then throw it out or give it up.( bar certain circumstance obviously like some mentioned).
I love my pets id never give them up.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 28/07/2015 19:05

twice my neighbours have bought their DD pets for xmas or birthday, only for them to have to be rehomed soon afterwards, because they could not/would not look after them properly. how distressing must that have been for the poor child! Probably even wore if the child was NOT upset, and has learned that animals are just disposable like toys.

there is a woman I know through freecycle, I delivered a whole bundle of girls clothing and bedding to her on 2 different occassions, single mum with 4 DC on a fairly rough estate, and her kitchen was full of various glass tanks with animals in, various exotic pets like corn snakes and small lizards. then I see her posting just after easter for rabbit hutches, needed urgently, as each of her 4 young DC had a lovely fluffy bunny for easter and they needed somewhere to keep them, hutches must be free and delivered as she does not drive.

how was she intending to afford to keep all these poor pets, feed them well, get the medical care they might need when she cant afford the basic hutches? what the heck goes through peoples minds??? what about the upset to the DC when their pets have to be got rid of? how is this teaching THEM to be good pet owners?

I totally agree that pet ownership needs to be monitored in some way to prevent the feckless and irresponsible, and downright cruel/neglectful. Pets are not accessories to be bought and traded on a whim. I sincerely hope the post about the cat not matching the new sofa was a joke!

dejarderoncar · 28/07/2015 19:26

I assume, YOUAREALLBONKERS, that you're user name reflects your feelings generally towards your fellow human beings, so it's no surprise that you seem completely devoid of empathy towards other animals. Have you considered you might be a psychopath?

ShowMeYourTARDIS · 28/07/2015 20:11

I work at an animal rescue, and I see this all the time. And when people don't fix their animal (cat, usually) and she has 6 kittens...a few weeks later they can't find homes. They come to us and get very offended when we won't take the kittens unless they spay their cat. We'll even pay for it!

lastuseraccount123 · 28/07/2015 20:40

YANBU.

some people truly see pets as 'things' rather than family members.

Follyfoot · 28/07/2015 20:51

Its hearbreaking isnt it. We were our dog's 4th (and final) set of owners when we got her age 3. She bears lots of mental scars from god knows what, poor thing.

Someone I work with is planning on getting a puppy with his girlfriend. They live in rented accommodation and are both out at work all day every day. But apparently she wants one....I've been barely able to contain my contempt Sad

Steben · 28/07/2015 20:53

My sil put down a cat when she was forced to move somewhere else when then tenancy ran out on her current place - she was not on bones of arse and had offers to rehome and still chose to end it's life. I can't forgive her for it.

GraysAnalogy · 28/07/2015 21:07

VRaging about what other people do that doesn't affect you in the slightest? Be thankful you don't have any real worries

There's quite a few things that anger me that don't directly effect me. Poverty in third world countries, people who don't have access to healthcare, oh and animal cruelty. Not all of us chose to turn a blind eye and ignore the suffering of others.

And that doesn't mean we haven't got 'real worries' either you strange individual.

Lurkedforever1 · 28/07/2015 21:16

Oh, right, I get youareallbonkers.
When somebody's discarded cat turned up, hungry, injured, scabby, emaciated, I was ok to rant cos she affected me. Likewise the many discarded pets I've homed over the years, or seen neglected or dumped.
But otherwise it's ok to discard animals when it suits you. What a delightful person you sound I'm sure. Hmm

Angiefernackerpan · 28/07/2015 21:16

I recently had a major falling out with a woman who posted pictures of her diseased hamster on facebook. She actually said that she wouldn't take it to the vet because, and I quote 'why would I spend £30 on vets bills when I can buy three new hamsters for the same price'.

Imo she has a fucking appalling attitude and should be bloody ashamed of herself. She got arsey with her many friends who took issue with her, two of whom were vets offering help.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 28/07/2015 21:16

My parents got rid of my dog when I was twelve. I went out to school and came back and my dog and the family dog were both gone. I was devastated. Didn't speak to either of them for weeks. I know they probably had their reasons, but I doubt they were good enough.

frumpet · 28/07/2015 21:19

I saw a massive row on facebook recently where someone was getting rid of a puppy . She said it was because her little one had become allergic . Turns out this was her 4th puppy in a year and she was trying to get one that wouldn't chase her little one or nip him . The row started when someone suggested she could try perhaps hoovering the shag pile that was clearly deep with hair and muck and that in itself might ease her childs condition .

The Hunning that went on , with lots of your his mummy , you know best etc etc was breathtaking Grin

Sapat · 28/07/2015 21:32

I saw on FB that my occasional childminder got rid of her dog when they had to move from a house to a small flat. I felt sorry for her. But less than a year later I saw that she got a new dog and although I don't care for pets (meaning I have no interest in having one) it angered me a fair bit as her circumstances hadn't changed.

Another school mum I often gave lifts to on my way to work always complained about how little money she had and how she could not afford the bus etc and then once she told me she had THREE dogs. When quizzed she did admit their food bill was about £150 a month. That annoyed me too.

My children would love a pet, but we both work full time, and our house is too small and we don't have the lifestyle, so it is a flat no from me. Tbh I don't think people in town should have dogs, and I am tired of all the neighbourhood cats using my garden as a toilet.

minipie · 28/07/2015 21:46

YANBU OP.

And like others here I am Hmm about couples who seem to get a dog as some sort of "practice run" for having a baby. Even if you have the best of intentions wrt keeping the dog and treating it just the same once the baby arrives, the fact is, some babies are incredibly hard work and will not leave you the time or energy to look after a dog properly. Of course not all are, but you don't get to choose which kind of baby you get...

I'm a bit Hmm about people who get pets while renting too. What if you need to move? most landlords aren't keen on pets.

Procrastinator Shock

lastuseraccount123 · 28/07/2015 21:52

fwiw I waited years and years to be stable enough to have a pet.

thecatsarecrazy · 28/07/2015 21:54

A woman I see on school run was asking if anyone knows of any puppies for sale as they had been let down. Many people said are you sure? As she has 3 young children. She got one and is now asking on Facebook for people to walk it Hmm

GraysAnalogy · 28/07/2015 21:57

My friends think I'm mad when I say I find the dog more hard work than when my boy was a baby. He's really hard work. Probably from being left alone so much when he was younger.

Animals are so tying and people seem to think you can just shove them in a room or outside. Well you can, but it's cruel

thecatsarecrazy · 28/07/2015 22:02

My dads dog has had 2 previous owners because the first owner "got fed up with him" and the 2nd "didn't have time for him"

Damnautocorrect · 28/07/2015 22:04

Minipie
I rent, but had my cat from when I owned. We had places turned down as we had a cat so we kept looking.
It's beyond ideal I know. But he's part of the family so we would keep looking. It's very hard though as generations of kids will grow up never knowing the joy and benefits pet ownership brings.
Not to mention the emptiness in your home as an adult when you can't have one.

Florriesma · 28/07/2015 22:06

Yanbu. I know of several people who get the pet for the child but hate it, then get rid of pet when they think child is not so bothered. Only for child to be very bothered so they go and get another pet.

Fgs if you get a pet for a child you need to remember it will be your responsibility. It's not hard. Lets not even get into the example being set to the child in these cases.

GraysAnalogy · 28/07/2015 22:13

The Boxer Dog Rescue makes me so sad. The poor dogs get rescued, then a few weeks later they're back again. One I saw was the owners were moving Hmm and another 'they didnt think it'd be so giddy'. Its a boxer, they're notoriously giddy.

One poor girl been given up 3 times :(

DoeEyedNear · 28/07/2015 22:13

I wouldn't be able to work in a boxer rescue. I'd want them all.

GraysAnalogy · 28/07/2015 22:14

I couldn't work at there and the bulldog rescue. I would be the crazy dog lady.