AIBU to be raging about how many people don't consider their pets a long-term commitment?

[KitKat1985]

Today's example: Someone I know on Facebook (someone I went to school with years ago, rather than a friend per se) posted yesterday evening excitedly that she got a puppy yesterday. No word of a lie this morning she is advertising it for sale because it 'doesn't get on with the cat'. Would you not think about how a puppy and cat would mix before you got a puppy? And if they didn't get along wouldn't you put a bit of effort in giving them time to get used to each other, rather than just 1 night? The poor thing will probably end up at an animal shelter or similar, or sold to some random who may or may not take good care of it.

I also had a work colleague who got through about 3 dogs in one year by taking on each one and then getting rid of each of them for various reasons (too noisy, needs too much walking etc) apparently having learnt nothing from each experience that dogs are actually a big commitment and can be hard work, and that maybe she shouldn't be taking one on unless she can make it's needs.

It leaves me so angry and sad. All the local animal shelters around here are full of abandoned pets that people have lost interest in. AIBU to think that if you take on a pet that it should (unless in exceptional circumstances) be a commitment to look after that animal for all it's life, and that should put some thought beforehand into how you would cope if your circumstances change etc?

It also annoys me when the person has told you often that they are skint or you see via face book that they are struggling.

then they get a pet. and your like, how can you afford the nuetering vaccinating and chipping when a week ago you were borrowing money fir a new school coat for your dc.

I realise these circumstances can happen to anyone. hell to happened to us. and when the pets are already here you do your best and utilise pdsa/rspca to access affordable/free vet care.

but why get a pet when your struggling to feed your kids?

And who are all these "mates who have kittens/puppies" and why are people supporting these wannabe breeders and giving then the excuses to not get their pets neutered.

I fucking loathe the expression 'mother bear'. YUCK.

YANBU, I had this conversation with DH last night.

Yesterday I saw on Fb the woman up the road is giving an 11 week old kitten away because her children are "allergic" to it. In January/February time they got rid of the puppy they bought them for Christmas for the same reason! Wouldn't you have checked they weren't allergic to cats before you got one, if you knew they were allergic to dogs? I would have.

Any government who put some controls in on pet owning (licenses, rules on neutering etc) and did their best to stop dog fouling would win my vote for life - why don't they??

Our DC were born into having pets. It's crazy to get rid of them when babies arrive. Makes people look pfb and unstable to me.

Totally agree. I honestly think kids who don't grow up with at least one pet are missing out.

runs away from flaming

Yy to getting rid because your pg or your pfb is born. I got asked loads what I was doing about my animals when I was pg, after getting bored of explaining why I'd be keeping them constantly, I just used to confuse them with the plans for care while I was in labour, back up plans for if it was complex/ baby unwell and I couldn't get back to the heavy stuff straight away. Then look at them blankly when they said no, I mean longterm, and explain how it was unlikely dd would be strongly allergic so why would I plan for it.
I also think if people took more care both pre and post baby, a lot less animals would turn out to be bad with their baby's/children

Oh you're so right OP it drives me up the wall!!

So many of my friends have gone through a huge variety of puppies and kittens and they'll take a few pictures welcoming their new addition and then no mention again until you enquire and they give some half arsed excuse about toilet training or barking! Yet they think I'm nuts for considering rehoming a dog even though in these cases the shelter really do all they can to match a suitable dog with a suitable home ie. Working hours, children's ages etc yet I just can't commit at the moment because my working hours are use changeable/holidays coming up and I don't think it's fair.

Scooby I often wonder that myself - cost to implement I suppose? Or not something that would appeal to the particular demographic the party is aiming for? Who knows.

Lurked I did that too! In fact I was very pleased with DS for arriving on a Tuesday, which was the day the DDogs went to daycare anyway so they were well taken care of! I also used to tell people I'd bought a new crate so if there were any problems between the baby and the dogs the baby could be crated.

help Even my friends without pets actually agree with you on that. They just bring their DCs to see my dogs.

If people start going on about allergies, just tell them that when you're brought up with cats/dogs/etc from very young, your chances of being allergic are pretty slim.

and then tell them to mind their own business sod off

YANBU Pets such as dogs and cats are a big commitment for the next 8 - 18 years in some cases, holidays need to be planned around them or a good kennels/dog sitter found.

Vet bills can be costly, insurance is now a must IMO & even with it you still have to have the money up front should the worst happen. So many people take on a cute puppy not realising it is a pooping, peeing, sometimes destructive Tasmanian devil that takes up a lot of time. So instead of taking the time to train the animal just give it up, really gets my goat how many pets are in shelters because the owners didn't think things through!

Yy cupcakes. One dog decided pre baby the Moses basket was a convenient basket, so I bought it an old second hand one as a bed, which lived on the floor downstairs. Post baby I was highly amused when my pet hating hv turned up and nearly had heart failure at a dog peering out at her. Yes, because I'm that stupid my 4wk old is on the floor with a dog sleeping on her and other animals all left unattended whilst I let you in. The other considerably cleaner and nicer basket on the stand you've just walked past is just a decoration, and I'm just holding a very realistic doll.

I had cats before I was pg and DSS was seriously allergic to them - I was devastated that I had to re-home them but I was lucky and knew someone who wanted them both. I had always had pets when I was younger - mice, hamsters, gerbils, rabbit and dog - all stayed with us until they passed (with the exception of the budgie, my mom moved the cage into the garden whilst she hoovered and my little brother let it out - he was 8 and didn't think). My mom never liked cats particularly so I was so happy when I could have them. DS is still very allergic to cats even after taking anti-histamines.

I got him to mix with dogs before I went down the dog route because I could not face giving up a pet again, we have two dogs - one who is 10 now and probably won't live much longer (king charles with heart murmur and arthritis) and another who is 2 and the biggest pain ever. Can only eat James Well Beloved, literally poos blood if he eats anything else (and is just a fluff ball so that is really yak to clean off him) - needs anti-sickness with his advocate and could have to go on prescription only food if he has another flare up with his stomach. Barks constantly when kids run up and down the path at the back of our house screaming and generally drives me nuts. The kids often joke that I love the dogs more than them but they are my family and the 2 YO dog should live until he is 18 and it already makes me feel sick at the thought of losing him.

I sadly had to rehome my old cat at the age of 4 because circumstances changed. She was happy in our flat, being indoor apart from the odd venture to the balcony. Then they decided to renovate our block and the noise drove my poor cat mad. She developed stress related cystitis and after many trips backwards and forwards to the vets to try and make her better it was suggested she be rehomed.

So she was through cat action trust. She was so lovely she was rehomed within a month. Then we got moved as they said our block then had to be condemned and now we are in a house. I tried to go and get the cat back but she had already been rehomed. Now i have a rescue cat myself that i got as a kitten. (if there had been an older cat that would have enjoyed our family i would have had an older one). FatCat is now 3 and is with us for the rest of his life.

I used to volunteer at an animal shelter and you would be shocked at the treatment of some animals, the lousy excuses and outright lies people would give for dumping their pets. Mainly as above, because baby has come along and they can't cope with the pet with a newborn. So, you're going to give up DC1 when DC2 comes along then?
And the amount of people that wanted pets because DH doesn't want another baby or We're not ready for a baby so we'll get a pet instead for now. Unfortunately, pets are seen as disposable. Dump it at the shelter, at the side of the road, in the park, wherever and it will be able to fend for itself. It's a domestic pet not a wild animal ffs

am now on my second rescue dog (lurcher) and both had been more or less abandoned by their owners as inconveniences - it does make me mad - I have reassured 'lurch' that this is his forever home and he has after a rocky start accepted he is safe and loved.
the thing is he is now 11 and we are both a bit in our dotage - would my life be simpler without him - YES but would I dump him or not get him treated at the vets so I could be dog-free - absolutely NO
that said I will not get another dog - just support the dog rescues with money. Dogs are a long term expensive commitment and should not be taken on lightly.

Needaninsight....she's a cat. A scratchy cat who gets overstimulated by stroking. Not a dog that is going to leap at child unprovoked. A cat that just will not be left unsupervised with a child, and who won't be able to be cuddled and stroked and picked up and hauled about by a child like my other very soppy cat as she's too unpredictable.

I'm pretty sure I can manage separation and supervision.

Don't you think mother bear is a bit of an overreaction? It's a tortoishell cat, not an Alsatian.

And I see no reason to not get pets until after you have kids. As long as you're prepared for the work and thought involved. Which I am. Having animals is part of my life. Always has been always will be. Particularly evil ones. I grew up with a cat that slapped everyone round the face every morning. My mother grew up with a cat who bit her ankles every time she went downstairs.

I think so many people are so precious about children and animals. Hence getting rid of them once the baby arrives, or getting them after children but buying a cutsie little puppy or kitten and then expecting perfect behaviour and zero hassle from it. A household where animals have an important place and where consideration for the animals is always a factor is a healthy household IMO.

Animals, particularly rescue animals, which is something I feel particularly strongly about - come with issues and personalities. You work round them, life goes on, all the richer for them. Children slot round that too.

I'm going to get flamed for this but to be perfectly honest it does a toddler no harm whatsoever to get swiped at by an annoyed cat, it teaches them to be gentle.

get pets after you've had children
This took me a moment to figure out but I had had
four dogs
two cats
four rabbits
and seven horses
before DD arrived! (Of course a lot of these pets were around for DD's arrival and are still with us plus some new additions - one dog and two cats)

YANBU, it annoys the life out of me. I know I shouldn't compare an animal to a child, but my dog is like a child to me. Giving him away would be just as alien as giving me son away.

Another thing that annoys me, and I see it on here a lot, is people letting their cats have litters. There's no need for it.

I agree! The lovely (but demanding!) Moggie McLeod was abandoned when his previous owners moved and was left to fend for himself on the street

He adopted us about a year ago and is the funniest, loveliest cat who has a forever home with us.

Our other rescue cat, Fluffy McLeod, adopted DP. He (Fluffy not DP!) was in the shelter as his previous owners weren't interested once they realised they couldn't breed from him . He is the sweetest daftest cat who also has a forever home with us.

Pets are family not possessions to be disposed of once you get bored with them.

I think so many people are so precious about children and animals. Hence getting rid of them once the baby arrives, or getting them after children but buying a cutsie little puppy or kitten and then expecting perfect behaviour and zero hassle from it. A household where animals have an important place and where consideration for the animals is always a factor is a healthy household IMO

I completely agree. I've seen the hysteria on MN.of parents who panic when a leashed animal paying no attention to them whatsoever comes within half a mile radius of their precious dc.

perhaps if they spent less time trying to deny their existence and more effort trying to teach children how to behave around animals we'd all be better off.

Oh no animals should be turned into robots didn't you know?

Ginbunny the foster carer we rehomed our two from swore on her life that she once had a cat dumped on her because the owner had got a new sofa and the cat no longer colour coordinated with it

Animals are a lot of work. Even cats. We can't go away at the drop of a hat. We've forgone holidays because we just couldn't find a sitter to do the dates. I refuse to put them in a cattery because they're both so damaged already they would hate it so much. We've been looking to move and turned down house after house because the road is too busy for them. We cancelled a holiday at vast vast expense when one got in an accident and smashed her jaw (also at vast vast expense)

It's difficult, but at the same time it would never occur to me to do anything else.

I'm considering a career break for a few years with children and I'd love to use the time to foster some cats from the same shelter. Dh and I have longed to for years but are just out too much of the day at the moment to give them the attention.