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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you classify or label people by their name?

196 replies

manicinsomniac · 27/07/2015 17:28

And does it often turn out to be correct?

I have a shameful addiction to the baby names forum.

Recently I have noticed my oldest daughter's name getting rather a slamming. It has come up in the past and it has generally been agreed on as 'chavvy'. Recently is has been called 'truly awful' 'dreadful' and 'just no'.

Her name is Savannah. The names Susannah, Samantha, Sophia and Sylvia however, are almost always received positively. These names, especially the first two, are very similar. So what is it that makes Savannah 'truly awful'? I can only assume that people are basing their liking of the name on what they assume its owner or her parent/s to be like, rather than the actual sound of the name.

I've also seen that people 'hate' the names Charlize and Charmaine but really like Charlotte. That they think Jayden is an awful name but like Aiden and Hayden. Isabella and Annabella are lovely but Arabella is ridiculous.

Am I unreasonable to think that people pretend not to like names when the truth is that they just have a particular association with a name that they wouldn't want for their child? And, if so, do those associations bear out in real life? I'm getting worried that I've saddled my child with a name that will cause people to roll their eyes before they've even met her. Especially as comment about my other two daughters names tend to sum up as 'nice but dull' and 'nice but posh' as oppose to 'god-awful!'

OP posts:
Nolim · 27/07/2015 18:01

In my language savannah sounds like bed sheet. Sorry.

MaidOfStars · 27/07/2015 18:01

I've just had a look at the Baby Names forum Shock

I have a boring name, apparently.... Grin

ghostyslovesheep · 27/07/2015 18:04

what Worra said ...baaaa

I picked the names I liked - couldn't care less what people thought

I do lean towards short traditional names but everyone is different

I will admit to disliking made up names but then I don't have to use them so it's not an issue really

AlwaysSpoiled34 · 27/07/2015 18:05

A name is only a name. It is really irritating to be given your grandma's name, anything else is fine for me.

ollieplimsoles · 27/07/2015 18:05

woonerism well our girls name is Penelope (penny) dh chose it before we were married, ita his favourite girls name.

Our boys name is really old fashioned and kookie, but traditional. I know it would get ripped to shreds in a heart beat on a forum of strangers! I did see it mentioned once on the baby name forum and it was not received well, people said really nasty things about him being bullied in the playground- personally I think you should teach your kids not to bully someone because of their name!

WhyStannisWhy · 27/07/2015 18:07

Savannah is beautiful. I much prefer modern names.

Then again, I was named after an 80s movie character. In 94 it was beautiful and unheard of. Fast forward 10/15 years and it was the epitome of chav, with every other little girl having some spelling of the name.

toomuchtooold · 27/07/2015 18:08

I think Savannah is a nice name. I'd assume you weren't middle class if you called your child Savannah because my middle class friends all went for names that were already popular 50 years ago. I wouldn't judge you though. Jesus, there's nothing wrong with not being middle class.

We went for quite traditional names because I've got a name that is very much of its time (70s/80s - suspect it might be the same as eatshitderek) and it dates you a bit if a name is hugely popular and then goes out of fashion. And we wanted our girls to have names that would suit them as women, not only as girls, and let them be taken seriously - we tried both names out by prefacing them with "Detective Inspector" to see if it sounded stupid Grin. (Neither of which would be a problem to a Savannah IMO - it's sort of bubbled under the radar for a good few years and it's not a cutie name so it fits to an adult. I do sort imagine a Southern Belle in a big dress when I hear it Smile)

ButterDish · 27/07/2015 18:12

No one should sneer at anyone's name, obviously. The baby names forum is a weirdly masochistic place with people actually inviting sneers from total strangers made vicious by Internet anonymity and other posters even more oddly attacking back on threads that deem their offspring's name 'try hard' or 'chavvy', which are the twin insults of the forum. Only a few names aren't accused of either tendency. These are Edward and Charlotte.

OP, I think you're being a bit disingenuous about names, which have associations, connotations, fashions etc far beyond the letters and sounds of which they are made up. Aidan (traditional, Irish, classic, never in fashion or out of it, any more than Tom or James) has a completely different set of associations to Kayden or Jayden, despite differing by only one sound. Names are associated with nationality, aspiration and social class. The kind of name the Cambridges give their children were never likely to overlap with what the Kardashians call theirs...

Salmotrutta · 27/07/2015 18:12

I've got a very old fashioned name that you rarely hear nowadays but I've seen it being slated on the baby name topic too!

You can't win and people should learn not to insult others for their choices.

Rainbunny · 27/07/2015 18:12

Always spoiled - agree! My middle name is my grandmother's name and I hate it, I'm just glad it's only my middle name.

FayKorgasm · 27/07/2015 18:14

Is your name like a certain brand of girls sparkly crap shoes Derek? If so my sister has the same opinion of it. Mine is always a peripheral character in a book,usually an auntie.

toomuchtooold · 27/07/2015 18:15

This is quite interesting: charts of UK baby names for 20 years. I just typed all the names of my school classmates in and about half of us have names that are really rare now. It's been a long old 40 years Grin

Original poster
manicinsomniac · 27/07/2015 18:15

I'm glad some people like it! even if I forced you too by starting a whole whiny thread about it Grin

toomuch - I have no idea what class I am. I'm a teacher in a very posh school in quite a posh area and I went to posh university. But I'm also a single mum who had my first child as a teenager and grew up in a low income family in a fairly deprived area. I don't know if you can call class for most people nowadays.

OP posts:
SacredHeart · 27/07/2015 18:15

manic - that's the interesting point....and why longditudinal sociological research is done. How old are your children (ballpark to avoid TMI)? The full impact of their names could take years or decades to display (or may never and there is none) - remember it's not personal it's statistical analysis.

Personally I agree with the line of thought that how others treat a person based on their name has one of the highest impacts. If you treat a child like an airhead because she's called Lambrini, chances are she will begin to display those traits.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 27/07/2015 18:17

Dd has a name that has since become chavvy due to a rising pop star... could happen to anyone I suppose.

Original poster
manicinsomniac · 27/07/2015 18:18

I know it does Butterdish , that's the whole point. Logically, the brain cannot like the sound of the name Aidan but not like the sound of the name Kaiden. Therefore it must be external, cultural/class influences that are causing the like of one and the dislike of the other.

OP posts:
cleanmyhouse · 27/07/2015 18:20

My mum called us all biblical names. Shes about as staunch an athiest as you can get.

When i was growing up, i was desperate to change my name to Danielle or Charlene, i thought they were the coolest names ever.

My grannies were called Peterina and Williamina. I know someone else called Johnina.

When I chose my kids names, someone said "choose a name that will sound ok as a baby and as an old man". One of my mums friends criticised the choices i made because they weren't 'different' enough.

People are judgy, ignore it.

Original poster
manicinsomniac · 27/07/2015 18:20

SacredHeart - DD1 is pre teen, DD2 is 8 and DD3 is more or less a baby still.

I'm not taking it personally really, I agree it's interesting.

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 27/07/2015 18:21

If you treat a child like an airhead because she's called Lambrini, chances are she will begin to display those traits

judgey pants alert

But I would also make a snap judgement that parents who would call their daughter Lambrini probably aren't reading Dostoyevsky to her at bedtime. How to separate those two factors?

Rainbunny · 27/07/2015 18:22

toomuch - My name is has dropped off a cliff now from being somewhat common when I was young. I think there were two of us in my year with the same first name so it wasn't the most common name even then, now it's pretty much disappeared apparently. Can't say I'm surprised, it's an utterly boring name even if (Elvis Costello wrote a song using it...)

MaidOfStars · 27/07/2015 18:22

Logically, the brain cannot like the sound of the name Aidan but not like the sound of the name Kaiden

But K is a hard sound. I really think it IS possible to like Aiden and not Kaiden, simply based on sound.

Enkopkaffetak · 27/07/2015 18:25

I love the baby name forum however sometimes it drives me nuts.

Iam considering a unisex name bit i am a bit worriee. Xxxx

loads of repkiea from people (like me) with a unisex name going no dont do it.
replies. Well i love it and i will be different w raising my kid w a unisex name.

well why did you ask then?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/07/2015 18:28

I think we all do to some extent, don't we.
I always perceive any one called Katie to be sweet and inoffensive yet that certainly does not apply to You know who or Katie Price.
Marie is very pretty name, yet. I have never came across a pretty Marie.
With the risk of sounding like You know you. To me Joshua Jack Jayden and Callum makes me think of naughty children, so sorry if anyone has a son by that name.
I always perceive children named. Elliot Sebastian and Gabriel to be sweet polite and well mannered,
Again these are only perceptions.
However all the Toms I have ever met have been lovely,

ovaryhill · 27/07/2015 18:30

I've got a fairly unusual first name, I'm the only person where I live with this name, in fact the only other people I know with my name are famous businessmans wife, an actor's daughter and a page 3 girl!
I am a bit judgey about names and gave my daughter an old classic name

SacredHeart · 27/07/2015 18:34

Without becoming too boring the interesting idea of "same upbringing" for siblings has been disproved as logically they have not had the same upbringing - Dd1 was an only child for a few years, Dd2 was never and saw a new child come into the house etc. small life events have changed small ways of parenting etc.

The evidence of this can be seen with sibling schizophrenia cases (my Gross isn't near me so numbers will be ballpark)

Identical monozygotic twins have a 50% chance of both having schizophrenia

Fraternal duo zygotic twins 30%

Siblings 10%

Now, fraternal twins are just siblings who shared the wombs together, so the major impact on the risk of schizophrenia in regular siblings is nurture (minor changes in upbringing)

Coming back off my Segway I hope that we will reach a point where people are more open minded in names - It does feel like there will be some casualties in the process of changing perceptions.

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