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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want this cat out of my house?

50 replies

happymummyone · 27/07/2015 16:44

I have a feeling IABU but here goes.

Our friends decided to get a cat three weeks before they were due to fly to America for a month, as you do. And as soon as they got the kitten asked by DP to look after it while they were away to which he said yes, without discussing it with me, so I felt if been left with little choice but to suck it up. I mean, how hard can it be to look after a kitten for three weeks?

Well, it's been here for just under a week and I've hated having it here since she arrived. Partner is at work all day, I'm 31 weeks pregnant, trying to enjoy the last few weeks, and my DD is off school for the holidays, which should be a lovely time for us all.

I'm very house proud, I like it to be tidy and clean and to smell nice but this cat is scratching up everything, my carpets, my sofas, the table legs, running up the curtains! Using it litter tray then jumping on my work surfaces and dining table. As daft as it sounds, I feel under siege from this tiny tyrant.

I've just decided enough is enough though when it stepped it its freshly done pile of crap and then jumped on my sofa to lick the crud off its paw (has been quickly turfed off) but my sofa now stinks of cat poo and all I can see are brown patches through my carpet. I know it's just a kitten and all kittens do this but I want my house back.

Our friends brother is staying at theirs, being paid rather a lot of money to look after their dog and he says he will take the cat but our friends aren't keen as the brother has never looked after a cat before.

I'm also allergic to the cat and can't take antihistamines due to pregnancy.

So, what do you think?

OP posts:
sebsmummy1 · 27/07/2015 16:47

I think YANBU. Give the cat to the brother and get your life back, more fool then to get a kitten and disappear abroad. They obviously should have waited until they came home to get the kitten, this is not your fault!!

MangoBiscuit · 27/07/2015 16:48

Your allergic to cat, and pregnant, and your DP thought it was ok to force you to look after a kitten?!? Shock Add in all the damage it's doing and I wouldn't be pausing to type up a MN post, we'd already be in the car half way to the friend's house.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/07/2015 16:49

I love cats but would take him back at his house as long as the kitten is safe from the dog.

What was your dh thinking, why didn't he check with you first?

00100001 · 27/07/2015 16:50

Take the cat to the animal shelter and explain what the owners did - they should have never have got the cat if they knew they were going away so soon and for so long.

Poor little thing, it's only a baby and has only been it's new home a few weeks and has now been moved to another house, and as soon as it's got used to that one, it'll have to move again.

Poor little mite :(

Let the shelter find a proper home for it

TheRealAmyLee · 27/07/2015 16:51

You are allergic to cats. You are pregnant and thus it's not recommended that you deal with cat poo.

These are 2 reasons why your DH should never have agreed in the first place.

Your friends are bvu for getting a cat at this time and for passing it off onto you. Your dh is bu for agreeing.

You are DNBU

fuzzywuzzy · 27/07/2015 16:52

Not your problem, take it back to the brother. If the friends were so concerned about the poor rig they'd not have pissed off on holiday so soon after getting it without making proper arrangements for its care.

Pregnancy and cat poo is not something I'd be thrilled with mixing to be honest.

AlisonBlunderland · 27/07/2015 16:52

Actually this would be the very best time for the cat and dog to get used to each other , in a quiet house with only one other human around.
So its really in the cat's best interest to take it home to spend quality time with its dog!

SacredHeart · 27/07/2015 16:54

Have the dog and kitten been introduced properly (I doubt it as intros can take weeks usually started after the animal is a little settled) if not letting the brother look after them both without cat and intro knowledge is dangerous to both the cat and dog.

Worst case - do you have a single room the cat can stay in? It is bigger than a cattery pen and will reduce the impact in your house?

Original poster
happymummyone · 27/07/2015 16:54

DP is allergic too, but he's soft as grease when it come to helping people out and he can take antihistamines so he's alright. I think he feels that we're letting them down giving the cat back, but I just want to relax in my house and not be an itchy, sneezing mess with the smell of cat poo constantly up my nose! I've been trying to convince him to get rid of it since Thursday night, but I've told him that as soon as he gets home from work tonight, he's packing the monster up with all its stuff and taking it to the brother to watch. And then I'm going to give my sofas a really good clean!! I have a feeling there will be some excuse as to why the cat has to stay though

OP posts:
sadwidow28 · 27/07/2015 16:54

YANBU at all. Yes, it is only doing what kittens do, but they can be destructive little beggars if they are not given stimulation and proper facilities (e.g. a scratching post). But that isn't down to you.

I don't see that your friend has the right to say that she doesn't want her brother to look after it when he is perfectly willing and the current situation is causing you distress.

Take the kitten to the brother this evening.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 27/07/2015 16:58

The kitten goes to the brother.you are allergic and should not be dealing with cat crap and stress. YANNNNNNNNNBU

WoonerismSpit · 27/07/2015 16:58

Fuck that. I would be giving it to the brother post haste.

And yeah, it's easy for your DP to be soft and want to help people when he isn't doing any of the donkey work. I would be really pissed off with him right now.

Original poster
happymummyone · 27/07/2015 16:59

Hi sacred heart, my whole downstairs is open plan, I have a teeny two up two down, it has free range of the down stairs but I won't let it in any of the bedrooms as both have baby things in. I don't have a single door downstairs, that isn't my front door.

Also the cat and dog know each other, the dog was immediately put in its place by this cat, he's a bit shy of her. Neither of them would be in danger, I just think it has rather interrupted their getting used to each other progress having her move out while they go away.

OP posts:
sadwidow28 · 27/07/2015 17:00

If your DH protests, tell him to read this:

Why shouldn’t I change the cat litter during pregnancy?

www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2620.aspx

FannyFifer · 27/07/2015 17:01

Wtf, they are not friends doing that yo you. Kittens are bloody hard work. Take it to the brother & leave them to it.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/07/2015 17:01

In that case, get the kitten back home via dh when he gets in.

Job done.

RachelRagged · 27/07/2015 17:03

Take the kitten back home OP , let the Brother look after it , He has offered afterall.

Its alright for your DF to say her Brother has never had a cat . .she should have bloody thought about that before she got the kitten then swanned off for a month .

Marynary · 27/07/2015 17:03

YANBU at all. Give the cat to the brother. Tell him how to look after it and I am sure it will be fine. The owners are in no position to complain.

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/07/2015 17:04

I love cats. I'd deliver it to the frenemys' friends' house right away. They've basically asked an allergic pregnant person to housetrain their new pet. I hope it pees on their bed.

DamsonInDistress · 27/07/2015 17:04

I would be crucifying my dh if he pulled a stunt like that! He's an idiot and toy really, really need to make sure he knows what he's done. What the fuck did he think he was playing at? Is he usually that inconsiderate and disregarding of you?

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/07/2015 17:05

" I have a feeling there will be some excuse as to why the cat has to stay though"
Tough. It HAS to go!

Original poster
happymummyone · 27/07/2015 17:05

Hello sad widow, well, funnily enough I did mention the risks from cat faeces to him, and he thinks it's okay as long as he deals with the litter tray in the evening (still stinks all day until he comes home though) but decided that he needed to do his own research on the risks as my word obviously wasn't good enoughHmm and has decided that the risk is so slight as its a kitten that has never been outdoors that I could even sort the litter tray myself and have almost no risk of contracting the parasite.

OP posts:
AlpacaLypse · 27/07/2015 17:09

Angry I have had a better idea. Rehome your DH.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 27/07/2015 17:11

DH is an idiot.
"Friends" are idiots.
Poor you and poor kitten. (I'd be billing these bellends for damage and carpet deep cleaning btw)

Original poster
happymummyone · 27/07/2015 17:12

Hey damson, he did say that technically I had a window of refusal and I kept my mouth shut. I disagree, he came home one night and said he'd told them he's look after the cat. And then they called me to thank me soooo much for being such a good friend and as it was so last minute I felt guilted into it. He's very thoughtless, he's previously signed me up to move into his parents house for a month while they went abroad to look after the dog while he was at work and I barely lasted a week then either, three cats and a dog (massive chocolate lab) was too much, even if I was just in my first trimester

OP posts: