To want this cat out of my house?

[happymummyone]

I have a feeling IABU but here goes.

Our friends decided to get a cat three weeks before they were due to fly to America for a month, as you do. And as soon as they got the kitten asked by DP to look after it while they were away to which he said yes, without discussing it with me, so I felt if been left with little choice but to suck it up. I mean, how hard can it be to look after a kitten for three weeks?

Well, it's been here for just under a week and I've hated having it here since she arrived. Partner is at work all day, I'm 31 weeks pregnant, trying to enjoy the last few weeks, and my DD is off school for the holidays, which should be a lovely time for us all.

I'm very house proud, I like it to be tidy and clean and to smell nice but this cat is scratching up everything, my carpets, my sofas, the table legs, running up the curtains! Using it litter tray then jumping on my work surfaces and dining table. As daft as it sounds, I feel under siege from this tiny tyrant.

I've just decided enough is enough though when it stepped it its freshly done pile of crap and then jumped on my sofa to lick the crud off its paw (has been quickly turfed off) but my sofa now stinks of cat poo and all I can see are brown patches through my carpet. I know it's just a kitten and all kittens do this but I want my house back.

Our friends brother is staying at theirs, being paid rather a lot of money to look after their dog and he says he will take the cat but our friends aren't keen as the brother has never looked after a cat before.

I'm also allergic to the cat and can't take antihistamines due to pregnancy.

So, what do you think?

[burblish]

Thank god your utter idiot of a DP is taking the cat away. You also say he has form for promising your time and services away to other people without consulting you (and when you're pregnant, to boot!) and then effectively guilting you if you don't follow through on what HE has blithely promised - that's pretty outrageous behaviour. You really need to put a stop to that nonsense by refusing to let his (or anyone else's) manipulative guilt trips work on you. It won't be YOU letting anyone down - it'll be him, for letting his mouth write checks he expects others to fulfil.

[SacredHeart]

Simple solutions is great as it is an enzyme cleaner so breaks down animal waste and smells (regular cleaners won't do this as well).

www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pets/simple-solution-stain-and-odour-remover-for-dogs

It's a god send.

[sadwidow28]

Steam clean every carpet and piece of furniture that you think kitten-siege went on. When you steam clean, don't treat it like a hoover (going backwards and forwards) you have to hold and then move to the next area so that the steam does its job.

Use anti-bacterial spray on kitchen surfaces. Then steam clean with the little nozzle thing behind the taps, along the joining from tiles to surface.

When I am steaming, I also use a black-light which shows where wee is in the carpet:

www.amazon.co.uk/Urine-Detector-Black-Light-Flashlight/dp/B00E9T92L6?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[happymummyone]

Hi rose petals, I'm starting on the clean up now and was wondering what I was going to use, but I do actually have a steam mop that comes apart as a handheld thingy, I've never used it but it'll be great for this :) thanks

[RosePetels]

Btw op I just got a steam cleaner to clean my cream sofa which turned black. It's back to cream and smells fresh. If you can purchase one you will get rid of that cat poop smell.

[RosePetels]

I'm a cat lady but someone else's cat ripping up my furniture ect would annoy me, even my cat doing it annoys me. YANBU - give kitten to the brother.

[Rosesareblack]

As long as you wear rubber/disposable gloves there is no danger from changing a litter tray.

Aside from that, you shouldn't be expected to look after a kitten if you don't want to. Maybe a dog crate would solve the immediate problem, pop kitty, bed, tray and bowls in it, keep them in there until it is time for kitty to go home.

[BernardlookImaprostituterobotf]

Sorry op, cross posted, slow internet.
Best of luck for a new and happier understanding. Sans kitten.

[sadwidow28]

If you need any tips on how to restore your house to order after kitten-siege, then just post on this thread. There are enough of us on here who have had kittens and cats to be able to advise you how to get rid of smells, scratch marks and loops in curtains.

[sadwidow28]

Well it was obvious that that your DH was making you feel selfish because you started your OP with I have a feeling IABU but here goes

But the unanimous verdict from MN was YANBU.

Well done for standing up for yourself in this inacceptable situation OP. Hope everything is okay between you and DH when he returns.

[Lurkedforever1]

Yanbu. I say that as someone who would be over the moon at having a kitten for a few weeks with none of the life long responsibility or costs.
It can go back to the house, caring for a cat if you can care for a dog isn't rocket science if someone tells you what to do beforehand. Volunteer to be on the phone for advice if he gets confused as to which one eats dog biscuits and needs walking. And in truth I think it's better for the kitten than being moved around homes when your inconsiderate non friends return. Tell your dh he can join the kitten there if he's that fussed.

[BernardlookImaprostituterobotf]

You have a twat problem, not a cat problem.

And yes, cat back to it's own home. I foster animals, rescue and rehabilitate including wildlife. My answer to stupid user 'friends'? No, you have a responsibility, you shouldn't have been so idiotic.
Also your DH is wrong, he better be really, really sure the kitten's mother is fully up to date on prophy treatment - not that the kitten has never been outside.
He has form for being selfish, thoughtless and a bit thick though, clearly. Using your time and labour to make himself look the generous big I am, is he always this disrespectful? Or is it just to people you know well enough to be shamed/railroaded into agreement with so he can fling up his hands and say it's not his problem now and you had your chance?
That's not called being soft.
This isn't a LTB post, but I'd be appalled if my DH thought so little of me.

[happymummyone]

Thanks to all of you, honestly, DPs attitude to me wanting the cat to leave has been making me feel like the most selfish person on the planet and you've all made me feel reassuringly normal and given me the push I needed to put my foot down!

[sadwidow28]

Yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!

Well done Mumsnet once again! There was not a single person who said OP was being unreasonable.

Have and OP whist DH is delivering the kitten home.

[happymummyone]

LondonRach, getting paid for this might have made it slightly more bearable but alas, I got some blooms from tesco as thanks and to have my house destroyed free of charge. I had to put the flowers on top of the fridge cause it's the only place the cat won't knock them over. Sigh.

[londonrach]

Take cat to brother or shelter and bill friends for cost of carpet to be cleaned and anything damaged. Shocked at friends getting a kitten before going on holiday. I hope you paying you per day. Also dh needs to Learn about pregnant woman and cat poo. Hope you get it sorted x

[happymummyone]

He's currently packing up the car full of cat stuff and hopefully the cat will soon follow. He didn't get the friendliest of welcomes, just a demand that he takes the cat away immediately. And also that he is never to sign me up for this sort of shit again. I must have looked pretty serious as he hasn't said a word

[sadwidow28]

happymummy Hmmmmm...... well, I wouldn't take a chance with a pregnant woman (and I had 4 cats at one time - all from kittenhood. They were vaccinated asap.) It just isn't worth even that minute risk IMO.

You have already had the accident today where the kitten has stood in its own faeces and jumped on the sofa to lick its paw. I had meticulous, time-consuming routines with kitchen surfaces and carpets when I had my kittens/cats and I wouldn't wish it on any friend of mine.

We did go abroad occasionally, and the cats stayed at home with NDN boys popping in to feed and play with them. (The boys - Tweens - were paid for cat-feeding and changing their tray. The boys also loved having access to another TV ) Cats are actually better off in their own environment.

Really, I do think your DH has to return the kitten tonight.

I'll send you some big girl pants so you can put your foot down with a firm hand

[DamsonInDistress]

Child in the mix, sigh. My anger on your behalf is blinding me.

[DamsonInDistress]

See after that update I'd now be going with the nuclear option. Pack everything in the car and take it to the brother NOW. RIGHT NOW. He can bloody well deal with any fall out our whatever, and I can honestly say I would be screamingly mad with him. Literally screaming. And then I'd be seriously thinking about what life will be like when there's a child in the mud. I can't be doing with thoughtless men, they tend to make poor parents frankly.

[maybebabybee]

YANBU at all OP, and I love cats.

Having said that the risk of toxoplasmosis from an indoor cat is so minor as to be negligible, so I really wouldn't worry about that (not that I'm saying you should change the litter, just that it won't do you any harm if you already have).

[fuzzywuzzy]

Sign your DH up at your local beauty college to have them practice back sack and cracks.

Why on earth do you let him sign you up to this shit?

My DP would never do that. What is wrong with some people.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

He's very thoughtless, he's previously signed me up to move into his parents house for a month while they went abroad to look after the dog while he was at work

He is a tit OP from what you've written, soft as grease to everyone but you.

[ppolly]

the kitten could have a room to itself at the brothers away from the dog until the owners get home. What on earth were they thinking to get a kitten just before they went on holiday?

[TheWatchersCouncil]

Do you drive? Can you pack everything up and take cat to the brother, and bypass your DP entirely?

It really isn't up to him to agree to the cat leaving, TBH. Although looking after the cat should have been a joint decision, the decision to get shot of it can be yours alone. Just do it!

And if you don't have a car/don't drive, can you get a cab there?