...to wonder why some people treat sales assistants badly?

[98percentchocolate]

I've worked in retail for about 10 years off and on (through uni) and now work a couple of hours a week whilst I'm a SAHM.

I'm always polite and friendly, and most people are lovely, but occasionally I have some...memorable... Moments.

This week somebody threw something at my face because they tried to queue jump and I wouldn't serve them first. I was very nice about it and very apologetic but still had something thrown at me.

I've also been called "stupid" and "thick" (I'm really not), have had people refuse to speak to me AT ALL (happens very often actually), snatching, snapping...

I'm not alone either, it happens very often. I've seen people physically assault my colleagues before over the smallest things.

So really, I'm just wondering what sparks it? I'm sure nobody will actually admit to being somebody that would throw something at a sales assistant, but I'm just really interested in the psychology behind it.

mostly because they are idiots who can not differentiate between the person serving them (being an employed individual) and the company. the other is that they actually think they are superior as they are expecting service and therefore see it as their right to abuse.

Equally unpleasant (and I hate to say it indicative of being a bit common)

How people behave towards waiting/retail staff tells a very accurate picture of a person's true personality. I'm talking about the people who believe they are superior to service industry workers and as such regard them as not worthy of their respect. It backfires though as they show themselves to be the real arsehole. I've dealt with many high net worth/high profile people who were always delightful and well mannered even when problems arose. On the the other hand I've had the misfortune of witnessing really vile and ugly behaviour from ordinary middle class people who regarded sales assistants as lower life form. And yes, there are certain stereotypical groups of people that I'm sure many retail staff would recognise who are guilty of this, but I'm not going to name them.

I've been sworn at, shouted at and generally insulted. Even had a man try and grope me once.
I work in a chemist and just this week was shouted at when I wouldn't let some woman interrupt me talking to a patient to hand me a prescription. She could bloody wait like everyone else, she's no more important than the lady I was already talking to.

It's a power thing in my eyes. I was a bar maid and loved it, I had people ask me what my 'proper job' was, er, it's being a bar maid! Some people like to lord it up over others and it's an easy thing to pick on. God, when I worked in a call centre some of the abuse was awful, regularly screamed at, was threatened with rape once, we had customers come to the call centre office a few times. Was awful, managed five years there!

Guessing it's because they are bullies, and take advantage of the fact that you are not supposed to retaliate.

About a year ago I went into a small store, selected some items and went to pay. Had a nice chat with the lady behind the counter. Before I left, she handed me a bracelet (pretty little beaded one). She said that she had decided that she would give a gift to the first customer to be nice to her that day and treated her kindly. It was 4pm in the afternoon.

It's sad that people think that the very people we need to sell us the basics of everyday life are treated the worst in our society. If no one sold us our groceries, fuel, clothing, etc, then we'd all be in trouble.

I think it shows they have never done a real job! I do a different job now but I worked in retail whilst I was in 6th form, I have been on the other side of the till and it doesn't make you subhuman.

It's those MN threads that get me - "the checkout woman gave me a funny/sulky look and literally threw my shopping at me" - turns out they never actually spoke to the checkout assistant like a human being.

I expect it's normally taking out their frustration on the nearest target especially if they have left it too late/not planned their shopping etc.

I used to work in a pet food/supplies shop. From age 14 to 19. It was my drinking money in my later teenage years while I was at college The abuse was daily and awful. People called me thick, stupid, lazy. People would choose their chews from the pick n mix section we had and then get angry when they couldn't jump the que to pay because I was dealing with another customer. One of our regular customers was a man who'd been in Coronation Street for a number of years. He was VILE. Every time he came in. Either disgustingly lecherous or outright rude.

MidniteScribbler - what a gorgeous (although sad) story.

I feel for all of you who have posted. I got my first Saturday job in 1984, when I was 14, which was in a shop. My boss used to say "I've missed grabbing your arse this week". I was 14. His wife was the co-owner. WT-actual-F????

I can't remember the customers now, but I remember him stroking my bottom!

I have found this week that people dont like to be kept waiting because they havd a baby.... And? Baby is fine, not crying etc 2 entitled customers

On my break I surfed MN looking for a thread about being kept waiting with their badge of honour on display ( the baby)

AnyoneForTennis I actually had a lady one day at the grocery store expect me to let her go first (I had three items, she had a trolley full) because "I have a child". Yes, you have a child, sitting in the trolley eating grapes that haven't been paid for. How exactly does that make you entitled to go ahead of me in the queue. Apparently 'people like (me) don't understand what it's like to be a parent'. Checkout operator told me that she does it all the time, expecting people to let her through first.

Last week a friend of mine popped into Tesco in her lunch hour. Waiting in the queue, man behind her huffing and puffing. Then he said, loud enough for everyone to hear, "It's totally beyond me why Tescos employ retards on the tills, they should keep them stacking shelves". Friend turned round and smiled at him and asked pleasantly where does he work. He obviously thought she was being friendly and he replied "(name of big national insurance company)". She then said, loud enough for everyone to hear, "it's totally beyond me why (name of insurance co) employs such ignorant, ill-mannered twats such as you". Man looked shocked, put his sandwich down and scuttled out of the shop. Friend got a round of applause from rest of the queue.

Fatmomma99 I actually use that bracelet in my classroom now. It's the "Kindness Bracelet". If I see a student doing a random act of kindness for someone else, then they get to wear it for the rest of the day. They all know the story behind it as well.

I used to work in Customer Services for a major toy retailer, some of the things people did were unbelievable!

The most common was around Christmas when people would bring in a broken toy claiming that they had purchased it in store and lost the receipt and demanding a replacement. It was a really common trick to buy broken items on Ebay or similar for pennies then try and get a replacement item that they could wrap up and give at Christmas.

I've been blamed for ruining children's Christmases by refusing to refund/replace a toy (strict policy that I couldn't without a receipt), my manager was quite reasonable and didn't reprimand me when I was less than pleasant in return.

I've been accused of keeping the most have items back for myself to sell online for a profit (Nintendo Wii at that point) I wish!!

The most memorable was the person who brought in their stroller that was broken, in fairness that had their proof of purchase but it as 6 months out of warranty and there was nothing I could do apart from give them the manufacturers details and tell them to contact them. They argued that I needed to give them a new one and when I refused (I really couldn't) the husband picked up the stroller and threw it at me over the counter I was actually 6 months pregnant at the time!

I've also been called various insults, threatened to wait until I finished work, threats to damage my car etc.

Oh dear. It's laughable

And they quote the sale of goods act ... Which doesn't cover them

I try to remember the nice customers. I really try...!

I used to work in a hotel when I was 18 until about 25, it hosted big events and was quite exclusive but not part of a chain. I was quite shy at the time and my self esteem was onthe floor, I worked with a group of girls who were very pretty and stylish, I was the complete opposite of this and had no confidence at all. During one event, a large group of guests were obviously talking about me as I cleared their table, when I went back for a drinks order they kept saying "yes, it's definitely her" and "just ask her" etc. they were sniggering a lot too. It was over exaggerated and clearly part of a 'joke' rather than because they actually recognised me.

They waited until a few of the other waitresses came to help with drinks before loudly asking me, whist looking round the room to see that other guests were listening, if I was "the lap dancer we met last night" and could I give them another dance free of charge since I was already being paid as a waitress that night. I was totally humiliated, not least because I was (and still am) a most unlikely lap dancer, being quite overweight. The main ones asking were the women too, they were really bitchy.

I was still expected to laugh it off, serve them and be polite. I left soon after.

We used to get people who polished off everything on their plate and then complained about the quality. We also used to get people who would sit in the bar for a meal and expect restaurant service for bar meal prices.

Some ppl are just arses and vent their frustration about life in the helping staff.

Because they can and it makes them feel superior. My boss when I was 21 was horrific, took the customer is always right to extremes. Made a colleague and I apologise to a racist customer for our colouring.

Because they are wankers, and throwing their weight around makes them feel better about it. It's as simple as that. They feel the situation puts them in a position of being socially superior to the person who's working there, and then they enjoy putting them down just a little bit more for the hell of it.

Seems like the same sort of dynamic that was discussed in that research that came out last week about shit talk on gaming - men who are not very good at the game tend to be the worst for giving out misogynist abuse online. Men who are better at the game and more confident and secure in their status, don't feel the need to wail on others to anything like the same event.

If it's any comfort OP, I judge the hell out of people I know based on how well they treat people in service roles.

I think it's something going on in their own lives.

You see that on MN the browbeating/ sarcastic/ condescending reply to a relatively innocent OP.

If you disagree with someone you can say that rather than diss the person but spiteful dissing takes precedence.

I know because I do it myself - or I've had a few wines!

Horrible people really did fall into certain stereotypes during my 10 years being abused in retail!
I found the very worst time to be working on the high street was Christmas Eve. The lead up to Christmas was busy but fun.
At around 2pm on Christmas Eve, it turned nasty, it's like a switch would be flipped on the High Street and all the reasonable customers would scurry off home.
We would share a bottle of wine at the back of the shop to toast Christmas and celebrate our one whole day off, we had them hammering on the doors, threatening us, throwing things at the doors, screaming. It was pathetic.
It's amazing how entitled people can be.
I've had some lovely customers too, I still wonder where some of them are and how they are getting on even though I've been out of retail for close to 10 years.

Because they're arseholes and they think they can get away with it.
I haven't worked in retail or hospitality but I have worked with the public (nursing, library assistant) and you come across plenty of rudeness in those jobs as well.

I had a woman throw 13 quid in change in my face on Christmas eve when I worjed at boits as a temp. That actually hurt and I had to leave my till so have a cry! My offence was having no tenners left ib my till.

Worked for Chanel for a long time and had the best time, lots of middle eastern men dripping thousands and tipping us in 50's

What used to annoy me when I worked in retail and as a canteen assistant, was the assumption that because of your job you were inherently thick, lived in a hovel, and should be grateful for their attention.

The other thing that used to drive me up the wall was when you were in the middle of serving someone that they would answer a call on their mobile phone and have a good chat, keeping you and other customers wating.