to be highly insulted on my monkey's behalf

[StealthPolarBear]

I had monkey when I was little. He's since been adopted by 6yo dd. As he's 30+ he's lost an eye, is a bit baldy and much of his stuffing is missing.
I identified a toy hospital and sent off some photos. The response came back that he was "mass produced in the far east" and basically isn't the same calibre as many of their clientele. So no inpatient stay for a small stuffing procedure :(
Aibu to be shocked and discusted, genuinely slightly upset on behalf of a toy that is quite special to me and dd (ok I know iabu there) and ask whether anyone can recommend a hospital dealing with a lower class of toy?

[StealthPolarBear]

Some very cure toys on this thread, and one rather sinister one!
Thanks for all the suggestions, I will contact some of the people mentioned and also ask trouser lady. We also have an indoor market with a haberdashery stall, I will take him in, they will melt when they see his (one) brown eye.

[WixingMords]

They may find him another eye too.

There must be updates to this thread I'll have you know.

[StealthPolarBear]

Well we still have the eye and to my untrained eye it doesn't seem broken, just as though a clasp has come loose inside his head (poor monkey!!). So they may be able to just insert a new clasp and use the eye.

[StealthPolarBear]

Another shameless monkey picture

[Icelandicsuperyoghurt]

My cuddly sheep is outraged on Monkey's behalf. Sheep is over 30 years old and not a rare breed or pedigree. He says if he were Monkey, he'd contact his local paper and when the reporter comes round, do his best sad face and make the scumbag hospital look dreadful. After such bad publicity, they'll be lucky to get a Netto teddy ringing up to enquire about surgery.

I think you need to treat Monkey to something special and let him know that what other people think of him doesn't matter. Everyone who knows him, knows he's fabulous, and that's what counts. What bastards.

[paulapompom]

Build a Bear do some quite sweet (wierd) teddy / monkey sized wigs. Monkey may end up looking like one of The Beatles circa 1968, but it would cover any minor hair loss.

[ghostyslovesheep]

here is my bear, Jingly - he will be 50 at Christmas - he was stolen by a bad elf (my mum) from Santa's grotto in the co-op in 1965

he wears a bow tie because they are cool

[ghostyslovesheep]

and this is Maggie his friend

[StealthPolarBear]

I love this thread! Sadly the bald patch is on his back mostly but I do like the idea of changing his name to beetle monkey
Icelandic thank you for yours and sheep's (scarily sincerely sounding) outrage on his behalf :o

[StealthPolarBear]

Jingly and Maggie look very comfortable on their own fur and very cuddly.
The monkey says he's not going to let this faze him. He knows his own worth and he is priceless in our eyes

[jeanmiguelfangio]

I have some eye backs available (when your toddler gets into your toy eyes and rolls them everywhere you get a few spare backs) maybe i have the right size for monkey. They too are mass made in the far east, so as you know they are the very finest. Do you know what size his eye is?
I make toys by the way, I'm not some sort of toy murderer with spare parts floating about

[StealthPolarBear]

Ok update for all monkey fans out there. I have just called the local lady who hems my trousers. She was disgusted to hear the treatment monkey had received from the district hospital and agreed to consider carrying out the procedure in her local clinic. She has let me know where I can buy the bits that are needed locally and we're going for a consultation next week.

[Harrietsferrets]

I was going to send my Eric Fredbear to a hospital to get his pads sorted, poor old thing was my dads and i then had him. So he is a good 50+ but i found the procedure they wanted to do was to unpick all his seams and use him as a pattern to 'restore him to his former glory'. He is still here and still suffering from cuddle induced alopecia.

[StealthPolarBear]

pure evil. Glad you rescued him from their clutches

[StealthPolarBear]

Ok so it turns out monkey is fairly mass produced as I've just been and bought a pack of four of his eyes
So...Dd wants him to look "the same". We have the original eye and a back that'd likely to fit. Shall I replace the original eye or "remove his cataracts"?

[StealthPolarBear]

Old thread alert
I've just searched for this thread to see if I could find a monkey picture. I am laughing my head off again :o

[MVLipwig]

Did he get reconstructive surgery? What war the outcome? I’m very invested in this zombie thread now @StealthPolarBear

[Maliali]

My glove puppet sheep is also outraged on monkeys behalf. He has extensive legal experience (well he has been sat on the sofa while Judge Rinder is on) and has offered to represent monkey in the European court of non-human Rights. I know the NHS has considerably scaled back on cosmetic procedures for apes but you’d think by going private you’d be getting him some decent treatment. The worlds gone mad I tell you.

[Maliali]

Oh it’s a zombie thread. Now desperate to know if monkey of humble origins received cosmetic procedures he needed.

[ladycarlotta]

I know this is a zombie thread, but it cheered me right up - thanks for resuscitating it @StealthPolarBear. I want to know whether monkey got spruced up in the end!

[StealthPolarBear]

OK are you ready...
Monkey went to the lovely lady who restuffed him and fixed his eye (we went for 'authentic', so I'm afraid his vision isn't brilliant). Sadly she was a bit too kindly and the hospital food had a bit too much butter and cream so he returned morbidly obese. This was a subject of mild amusement until he started to literally burst at the seams..
Mil then took pity and performed liposuction (stuffosuction?), taking the opportunity to firm up the tail attachment and give him a cool new bin which his owner had resisted by agreed looks cool.

[StealthPolarBear]

Et voila

[StealthPolarBear]

Monkey has a new lease of life in his retirement. This weekend is hanging yoga on Saturday morning (where you perform upside down hanging by the tail from a door handle), followed by a birthday sleepover where he shall Lord it over all the inferior stuffed toys.

[StealthPolarBear]

Hanging yoga in action. He's so supple, even in his old age.

[StealthPolarBear]

Cool new bib. Not bin. It really suits him.