Argh - my mother..how do I respond if at all.

[Weathergames]

I have teenagers and this week they are doing my head in. All off school and not doing the things I have asked while I am at work. They have been sanctioned appropriately.

My partner (not the kids dad) works away so I am effectively (and did for 5 years before we met) bringing the kids up alone.

My mum is great in the respect that she lives away but she has always come and stayed with the kids one weekend/week a year so I can go away.

Thing is I can't ever ask her for parenting advice. She has always sniggered and laughed in front of me and the kids when they have been naughty and thinks it's a big joke and kind of life's revenge on me because I was a nightmare teen who went right off the rails (partly due to not a great childhood).

Just had a rant on FB about my teens (typical self entitled lazy shit - they are on the whole pretty good kids) and she posts "I'm saying nothing" and loads of smiley faces.

It drives me MENTAL it is so unsupportive and I just never know how to respond without being accused of "over reacting".

How do I respond? Do I just bite my toungue? Feel like saying Fuck. Off.

Sorry stressful day and venting here rather than at my mother

Sorry that was supposed to be a grin, tee hee that's funny Cider

You still need someone to vent to via telephone/email. Not all of us have that someone.

True, but there are chat rooms that are anonymous are there not, unlike FB? Or, if it has to be FB, why not PM some friends with teens, rather than a public post?

I'm sure the OP hasn't scarred her kids for life with a FB rant. However she says she wants to get her DM to behave better. She'll have a much better chance of doing so if she stops undermining her own moral authority.

In fact my 16 yr old DD does that to me!!! She's sussed it 24 yrs before me

Oh to be the perfect parent.

My mother does not give a rats arse what I post on FB (unless it's ridiculing her).

Am not sure what "moral authority" is really.

Do my kids respect me?

Yes they do.

I would reply "haha I blame the parents ;)"

Just post back to her "I'm saying nothing" with "Just as well, Mum, considering!!!" with one more smiley face than hers.

If she complains, say "Well, I was a child when I was behaving badly, Mum, and you were trying to cope. Now I'm an adult with children behaving badly, and I am trying to cope. And asking for a bit of empathy. Reminding me of things I did as a child doesn't help. What do you think your Mum would say about you at that age? If I had posted about having to change a really bad nappy would you post gleefully to remind me of the one I did in the post office in 1973?"

Tell her it must be genetic and runs in the family then, so she doesn't come to the table with clean hands.

see if i put something on facebook about my daughter i tag her in it to make sure she has seen it and its usually along the lines of can someone tell my dd to get off her butt and do her chores before i post her naked baby pics and change her password on her account (ive changed her password to her account before she knows the pictures are a joke) ive also put up a please phone the landline as ive had my mobile surgically removed for mistreating my mother by the way my moms house my mom rules! i always warn her first give her a chance to redeem herself surprisingly ive only ever had to do this once she learns fast

i dont think its disrespectful as such these days you cant gossip on the doorstep and people seem to forget friends are not always here and people dont always have friends to turn to irl

why do you think places like mumsnet exist

Christ, my kids are in for a lifetime of therapy if having minor rants on FB are not the done thing.

I just checked your FB post Weather it's hardly worthy of social services involvement.

As for your mum....I just made a little comment on the status. Hopefully it's subtle enough to not cause ructions (how do you spell 'ructions'?)

Am not sure but the spelling police will be along in a minute to support the thought police.