Would you be annoyed if you knew your partner was probably tinkering in stocks and shares without telling you

[sharedealing]

I know h is probably doing this but when I find the odd letter (unopened but the envelope I mean) from companies like Odey Wealth Management (does anybody know anything about what they do?) I feel a wave of anxiety and also .

Depends. What are the family finances like?

If it's his own 'spends', for want of a better word, then he could do what he wanted. If it started impacting or risking the wider families quality of life or security then it's an issue.

If unmarried, no kids, without joint finances, it wouldn't bother me because it'd be none of my business. If any of those 3 factors were different, I'd be quite annoyed.

Yes because that should be a joint decision. Having said that I wouldn't have a problem with him doing it, although it is massively unlikely, so I can rest easy.

Have you asked him? Is he your husband or partner? Are your finances joint? If it was shared money i would be annoyed.

If it was 'his spending money' IYSWM then no I wouldn't mind.

Yes, it depends.

Is it all joint money? Or do you have separate accounts?

yes i would mind whether it was "his spends" or not

why be so secretive,on line gambling in my eyes is similar,all kept secret till a big loss and then all hell breaks loose

As the name suggests, Odey are a wealth manager - ie you pay them for their expertise in tinkering with stocks.

However, as I understand it you need more money to use a wealth manager than just investing in funds off your own bat - so the suns may be significant. But this is not my area so may be off base here.

I know h is probably doing this

Is it your h as in husband? Or is it a typo and meant to say 'he'.

Because my answer would be dependent on your situation

in my deffence i was married to an ex gambler so im ultra ott about things like that

Is he actually keeping it secret though? Do you tell him everything you spend your money on?

You can use a wealth management firm to handle your isa if you have a stock rather than cash one. Or your pension if you're self managing.

My exH 'tinkered' with everything financial without telling me and keeping things from me. Ended up homeless, divorced and he went to jail! So I would be ultra insistent in hindsight, knowing exactly what was going on.

I made a small investment (less than 10,000) in a venture capital trust and got letters from Odey seeing if I needed their advice on other investments I may have. They might have got your details like this?

Shares aren't for everyone but as long as you are both open about it - but that could be the issue. If you are concerned enough to post then maybe you think it could be a gambling problem?

My late uncle "tinkered in stocks and shares" and left an estate of about £300k. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

Why don't you ask him about it?

Some odd responses on this thread. Share dealing can make you very wealthy, y'know, as a family.

Thank you.

We are married, have 3 dc but separate finances.

A long time ago he did a lot of share dealing quite openly and lost quite a lot of money. He then apparently recouped some of that money when selling property that he had (investing in property is partly what he does).

Two or three years ago I realised that he was interested in getting involved in the whole thing again (or maybe at that point he was already involved) and said how much I didn't think this was a good idea. He just scowled. I then realised he must have gone back into it (to a degree - it would be one of the things he does to try to make ends meet) when I saw the nasdaq index on his phone and because of some of the post which he receives. I guess he knows I kind of disapprove which is probably why he wouldn't say anything.

Yes I guess the letter from the wealth management company could relate to any number of things.

Hmm. It depends. While people can make a bit of cash on it, you have to know what you're doing, follow the markets and financial news pretty closely to make any kind of decent money. Otherwise it's just a few quid here and there. It's not something I would want to do.

Yes I assume this is the level he is doing it at but who knows .

(A few quid here and there I mean).

My husband has done this, with zero discussion with me about it, and it's absolutely fine. I trust my husband to manage his finances. He's never given me any reason not to and I've been with him for 38 years.

My husband does, and it's not something he discusses with me. What he does with his income beyond the household finances is his choice -- he's 41, not a child.

I trust my husband to manage his finances. He's never given me any reason not to

I guess this is where the issue is for me as h made a loss of 60K all those years ago. Who's to say it's not going to happen again?

If this was a lot of money (and you have the past experience of him loosing quite a bit too), then yes I would want to now.

Mainly because being married means there is NOT his money and my money anymore. If he gets into debt, I will have to pay! (and the dcs will suffer etc etc).