To end this friendship

[BelindaBagwash]

A and I I have been friends since primary school - less so as the years went on as I got married and had kids and she didn't, so not so much in common. She did get married later and we found ourselves working together.

OH got a job in a local company after a longish period out of work. A's DH sacked him a few weeks ago, on some very minor allegations - no verbal or written warning - just dismissed. His parting shot was, "Don't bother going to a tribunal cos you haven't been here for two years"

I really don't think I can be friends with her any more, OH says that I shouldn't let it kill our friendship as it wasn't her doing, but I can't see her behaving the same way if it had been the other way round.

I am just so angry at the unfairness of it all that I don't want anything to do with either of them again.

I think it's most unfair of you to treat your friend as if she is responsible for her partner's decision. I'm sorry your DH lost his job but like others, I think closing early is significant (though if he was specifically told it was acceptable in the prolonged absence of customers, that does change things). FWIW, my mother's help is working out the last of her notice this week because I felt I could no longer trust her to behave professionally when alone. Regardless of how insignificant the misconduct might be, if it damages the employer's sense of trust in the employee then it might well be that the job has to end. But the evidence in your DH's case seems conflicting. At the end of the day, it wasn't your friend who came to this decision but you seem to want to 'sack' her without getting further details about her involvement. It sounds as if this is a handy excuse because the friendship had run its course anyway. Do you think you might want to punish her by treating her in the same way that your partner has been treated? Just a thought.

He was told to start work at 4pm and stay open until he felt there would be no more customers - so what was he meant to do - stay open until midnight just in case somebody drove out into the middle of nowhere to use this facility? He thought he was using his initiaive.

OK so my friend wasn't directly responsibile but imo there are some things you just don't do to friends. She is always bleating on about how they have no money, in spite of both having well paid jobs, so I won't be able to sit and listen to her banging on whilst my OH has no job and very little chance of getting another one thanks to her DH.

She wasn't responsible, full-stop.

From what you've said, this woman is no use to you because you don't like her much and don't have much to talk about given that she's childless. Now you want to give her up entirely because of something her partner has done. It's not fair exactly, since she hasn't done anything worthy of being dropped as a punishment. At the same time, you're free to be friends with who you want and you obviously resent her too much to be a friend now. So you're being neither reasonable nor unreasonable.

What really makes me cross is that she is constantly moaning about how she never has any money, despite them both having good jobs. I will not have to sit and listen to her banging on, knowing that we are far worse off, thanks to her husband.