To think listing best friends in the yearbook is cruel and unnecessary?

[LadyFuckrington]

Dd is eleven and has always struggled socially but in this last term she has blossomed and made lots of good friends among her year group.

However, we received the yearbook yesterday which comprised a page by each child all done to the same template. One of the boxes was a short list of 'my best friends'. Only one of the girls had listed DD.

She was distraught yesterday and cried for an hour. We've smoothed it over and told her that she's so special to everybody that they didn't need to list her. But really, this is bound to happen with lists like this, isn't it?

Aibu to be really fucked off with the school? I'm glad to see the back of it tbh, onwards and upwards to secondary.

I find it hard to believe that 50% of a class of primary school aged children would hate a day of playing rounders? It is hugely popular at my DCs school.

I agree with you OP, and I think you should email the school and respectfully ask them to drop it next year.

And yes, onwards and upward. My DS1 has blossomed socially in Secondary when freed from the constraints of being with the same class for years on end.

Time well...maybe at our school there's a streak of unsportiness...I know that a lot of kids weren't happy about it. Many of them are quite geeky and science focused...a treat should be something all enjoy or there should be a choice of activities...rounders OR reading/watching a film.

Perhaps, but you can read and watch films anytime, opportunities for sports in big organised groups are much harder to come by.

TheHouseOnBellStreet - huh? In 9 years of teaching I have never come across a primary aged child who doesn't love rounders! My form are always on at me to play at the most inappropriate times. I don't get it myself really because it's quite a boring game but I suppose I remember liking it as a young child.

I agree with OP about the best friend comments though - horrible!

And it wouldn't only be unpopular children who wouldn't be listed. It would be generically popular children who get on well with everyone but who nobody likes 'best'. Really stupid, humiliating idea.

How can a child treasure a keepsake like that when, every time they look at it, they are reminded that other children didn't see them as a good friend.

maybe whoknows but i certainly wouldnt have enjoyed it neither would my ds who is eight horses for courses i suppose.

I find it hard to believe that 50% of a class of primary school aged children would hate a day of playing rounders?

I would have loathed this at school; all sport, in primary and secondary, was a demonstration in popularity, it was, and is as far as a lot of schools seem to still be, nothing to do with ability, encouragement, or confidence building.

awards being handed out including best looking girl and best looking boy
What the unholy hell is this? What a shitty message this sends.

OP, please write to the school to let them know how insensitive, and just unnecessary, this is for a young person's confidence.

Manic well you've not looked very hard. For some children ANY sport is hell on earth.

I hated rounders at school! More standing about doing fuck-all than any sport ever! A whole day of it would have been tedious at best and downright awful at worst!

Not true at all TheHouse - it totally depends on how sport is approached by the school. It will never be every child's favourite activity but children will always enjoy some sport if they are given the right encouragement, support and range of activity and as long as there's no pressure involved.

Egosumquism oh yes, sitting on the grass having a chat and avoiding the ball when t comes near you is totally part of enjoying rounders - a day in the sun making daisy chains while 'out deep' - bliss

I second that the house sport for me at any age was a nightmare. I was the chubby kid that looked awful in shorts, couldn't run and was painfully shy. Never a treat, more like a punishment and I would have done anything to get out of it.

I do agree that a whole day would have been a bit much - children would have started to argue and kick off, especially if it was hot.

My year group's 'fun day' (all year groups have to organise one in the last week of term) was swimming, rounders and indoor rock climbing. Everybody appeared to have a great time. Certainly nobody stayed at home.

I agree that a whole day is too much too, but the DCs school is good at not making it a popularity competition and work hard to be inclusive. I know not all children love it but it ought to be possible to make an enjoyable afternoon out of it even if some are sat round chatting or cartwheeling etc for a lot of the time.

Agree 50% are never going to "hate" rounders as ling as the joining in isn't pushed and unsporting ones get to be deep fielders who just sit daydreaming / chatting/ making daisy chains on the grass - I was unsporting but would have seen that as a skive day and been happy enough, though I also think it is impossible every child a teacher has taught for 9 years "loves" rounders - presumably some put up and shut up, some are indifferent, some don't love it but prefer it to maths/ handwriting/ sitting indoors, and perhaps 20% actually "love" playing rounders!

Manic you sound ignorant of children with special needs. For some children sport is AWFUL no matter how it approached. Those with sensory issues or physical impairments like dyspraxia, are sometimes embarrassed and upset by it.

Nur well in my DDs school not joining in is not an option. They'd never be allowed to sit around chatting.

My dd (secondary school) has been jeered and sworn at for missing a ball thrown at her. All within the hearing of the teacher. Also regularly picked last and singled out because of bullying.

My son does a sport outside of school and the attitude is friendly, competitive but more than anything sporting. People have some grace and manners even in defeat. There is none of the nastiness that is experienced at school. If anyone were to behave like that they'd be given short shrift and very likely be excluded from participating.

At school they just turn a blind eye. No wonder so many youngsters get put off exercise and sport if their main experience of it is at school in humiliating circumstances.

Moon my DD has just left year 6 and told me when she missed a ball, some kids would say "Oh MiniBell!!" in a rude, exasperated tone. WHY the teachers let this go on is beyond me.

Not in my experience, TheHouse - not as long as physical and emotional needs are approached correctly. Once had a little boy in my school who died aged 10 from a brain tumor, had to use a wheelchair 98% of the time and struggled to hold his head up - he still listed 'throwing cricket balls with my friends' as one of his favourite activities. From what I see of children they get something out of a bat and ball or an open field that adults just don't. We definitely have children who hate rugby or hockey or swimming or athletics etc but I don't see children who hate the whole lot.

But anyway, that's just my experience and not the point of the thread. I have no vested interest in this, I'm only in the games department by default (dance teacher), I mostly teach drama - which I think most children can enjoy but there are a few who never will.

Nur - well, yes by 'love' I mean - 'we're in school and we have to do something so we want to play rounders not do mental maths'!

Lorna sport isn't an exercise in popularity, though it can play it's part in team picking.

I always remember the mousy quiet girl with thick glasses at secondary who most people only noticed the first time we did cross country and she just ran the whole 5 mile or so course in about 25 minutes when therest of us took most of the double lesson or finally strolled in half way through music - definitely didn't manage that because she was popular but it made people notice her and give her credit for an unexpected ability.

Same for music - though I'm not musical either the geeky girl who stood up in a house music competition and sung with the most beautiful strong clear voice earned new respect and notice.

What is humiliating is forcing children to perform when it is established that they have no talent - you'd never make the struggling non academic kids stand up and do mental arithmetic in front of the school and parents but apparently it's fine to make them sing or do sport with an audience. Primary teachers always defend compulsory singing but their reasons are never particularly convincing, it'sjust what's always happened...

Themoon and TheHouse - absolutely appalling that children are treated like that in sport - it's those kind of comments and attitudes from other children, not the sport itself which turns children off. Children need to be taught from really young how to encourage and be a good sport. I don't blame the children necessarily but their teachers shouldn't allow it.

I am SO glad I never have to go back to school. All the compulsory stuff, having to fit in, having to do things I hated.