To find teenage girls quite unbearable?!

[Katrina43]

I have two teenage girls DD13 and DD15. I find the continuous drama quite unbearable and am trying to detach a bit !!
It is usually their friendships( which seem more immature than when they were at primary) that causes the most angst in this house. I have always encouraged an open forum at home but now I'm beginning to wish I didn't know. They seem to be best friends one minute, spend all their time together or on facetime then it all comes crashing down and they are frozen out of social occasions and bitched about on social media etc and spend days moping at home. Then its someone else's turn to be frozen out and they are back in! Is this normal and when the hell does it stop?!

Apart from this we have the usual sulking, screaming, drama filled days then lovely for a few days its a real rollercoaster. I think I struggle as all I want is for them to be happy and confident people and since puberty both have vanished.

"my thirteen year old son on the other hand doesnt want to wash comb his hair clean his teeth leave the house etc and is permanently attached to hisx boxshock"

time for the hose!

Its not having teen girls its having teenagers

In my house the teenagers (girls) are lovely, no drama and no screaming. DD3 (8) on the other hand is everything you've described OP. Just hoping she grows out of it before she hits the teenage years!!

My DDs are 18 and 20 and were mostly lovely but we're certainly more dramatic than their brothers. Neither seemed to struggle too much with friends/social media type issues. I found the biggest thing was that they both got horribly stressed with the exams. I liked the fact that they confided with me (in great detail) but it was hard work. I felt so sympathetic towards them but sometimes I just wanted to tell them to lighten up. ( obviously I didn't ) The boys were also stressed by their exams but dealt with it more quietly.

I have a 16 year old ds and a coming up 15 year old dd. They are mostly lovely, and not particularly dramatic except on purpose (dd is an actor, ds is into debate).

ds is more private about his life, and his friendships while long standing seem fairly superficial (ie he rarely visits in person and knows virtually nothing about their families). He gets angsty every now and then, but his shouting and screaming days seem to have mainly been left behind n childhood (when he excelled at both). Never much of a sulker, he's more in the moment really.

dd has never really been a shouter or screamer, but she does sulk (much like her father) and she is generally more emotionally vulnerable. She had a lot of friendship grief in her last year of primary and lost most of her friendship group when they were frankly really nasty to her. On the plus side it taught her a lot about what's important in friendships and her current, much smaller group of friends are both close and lovely.

I'm not sure if I could have coped with parenting some of the flakier girls, I certainly made sure dd know that I wasn't impressed with her when she played the same games. I value honesty in friendship very highly so the shallow queen bee stuff is very alien to me.

You should try having 3 teenagers in the house and a pre teenager and one of those teens is autistic and then throw in a 7 year old autistic daughter.

3 boys and 2 girls and when the youngest get's to the pre teen stage I'll still have 2 teenagers one of them is autistic and I'll have a pre teen who is autistic.

I wonder if it's to late to run away?

I only have boys but I work with teenagers and have done so for 25 years.
In my expierence boys are so much more stable and less prone to drama. I find them easier to work with ( including the 'targeted' groups who need a lot of intervention)

My teenage boys just seem to float by and if a friend is annoying them they back off and do their own thing for a bit and eventually regroup whaen they are ready.

The teen girls I know seem to blow everything out of proportion and the complaints that I have leaving meshaking my head!!

In general teens are fascinating and fun though!

Mine were mostly fine although it did vary. It does get better. I don't think we need to be sexist either. Boys are good and bad too.

Some teen girls are like this some aren't. I wasn't, although was made very miserable by other girls that were. I get pretty angry when people tell me my 18 mo dd will be vile as a teenager; it's not automatic. I teach in a girls school and generally (huge generalisation) the 'cool' girls are more likely to be like this, whereas the geeky or alternative girls aren't. I also found as a teenager that leaving the in-crowd and joining the 'squares' meant I suddenly found friends who were actually nice to each other.

I also can't imagine how stressful it is for girls now with social media and the internet meaning 'friends' are there 24/7. I used to live for the moment I could shut my front door and leave my 'friends' outside. I would love to ban the internet at home for my future teen dd, but I suspect the internet will be in people's eyeballs by then.

I work at a school and the dramas with girls in year 9 put Dallas in the shade. My dd is 17 and generally steady, but even she wasn't immune to the Grande Guignol of year 9 fall outs.

DD isn't a drama queen, but sulky. I think her problem is that she has made some poor friendship choices. She is also very unconfident and rubbish at standing up for herself, so queen bee types tend to find it easy to behave in a manipulative manner towards her.

I have 2 ds and they fight and argue. Yesterday they were having a row about if Freddy fezz bears pizza or whatever his name is is real. They found a picture online one said no its photo shopped the other wouldn't have it.

Mine must be major drama queens then. Think they feed each others anxieties also!
They both seem desperate to be in the 'popular' cliques who aren't always popular for the right reasons!