To think MIL should be proud of dh ?
Edenviolet · 21/07/2015 13:22
Rather than having the appalling attitude she does towards me?
Our dcs have various health problems and dh has in the last year really really made a massive effort to help with everything. We share the work at night with dcs, take turns with cannula changes etc and he takes them to lots of appt etc etc etc
Ds1 is currently in hospital and dh has stayed with him, I've been looking after other dcs and going up to visit when I've been able to find someone who is trained to look after dcs, it has worked out ok
MIL has constantly phoned and text, not about how ds1 is or can she help but to tell me I should be staying with ds and "what sort of a mother doesn't stay in hospital with her child" also saying how it's unfair on dh, that he does too much etc etc
AIBU to think that actually she should be really proud of dh for doing so much and being such a good husband and father rather than having a go at me that I make him help too much?
LazyLouLou · 21/07/2015 14:38
Bite the bullet and say
"Look, life is stressful enough at the moment. If you can't support us leave us alone."
Then screen her out totally.
When things are on a more even keel for you get DH to reinforce your joint message.
I hope your DS is back home soon and you can get back into your normal routine.
goshdarnit · 21/07/2015 14:54
YANBU at all.
I used to work as a nurse for teenagers. Sometimes both parents stayed, sometimes Mum, sometimes Dad. But it was always very obvious that the parent not in the hospital was working darn hard to keep the rest of the family going and maintaining normality. It's team work at it's finest (and hardest)
Home dc1 gets home asap, and I think MIL needs to realise that you are both working hard, and all your children need both of you to maintain the family unit, whether some are in hospital or at home, and your dh is perfectly capable of caring for his child, his testicles don't stop his ability to care!
TheVeryHungryPreggo · 21/07/2015 15:10
So if I remember right you have three other DCs all with health issues including a baby and a younger DD with life-threatening diabetes and your MIL thinks DH is hard done by because you're not also in the hospital with your son so he has to go. FFS. Does she think you have a cloning machine in the attic to pop out spare versions of yourself to do all the jobs as needed?!
Tell her there's only one of you but luckily DS1 has two parents, and you are taking care of your whole family as a team.
paulapompom · 21/07/2015 15:10
She's sounding a bit of a cunt if you will excuse my bluntness. Surely she should be A) proud of you both, and B) offering any help she can.
I would imagine looking after dcs with multiple health problems is totally draining and so worrying. I hope you have people around who do support you both.
Love to you all
Lima1 · 21/07/2015 15:21
"What sort of mother doesn't stay in the hospital with her child?"
Answer - "one that has left the child in the care of his competent and loving father"
What a bit*h.
My DH gets grief from his mother about him going to college (I was going too at the same time but finished now). She goes on and on about how we are putting ourselves under too much pressure and that I'm obviously forcing him to go.
Wouldn't it be lovely if she could support us and congratulate us on trying to do better for ourselves.
HelenMirrensHair · 21/07/2015 16:39
So basically she's saying that looking after one child in a controlled environment with trained professionals is more difficult that looking after 3 and holding the house together with no external support????
Saying that having read some of your other threads i am will to bet 55 million squillion quid that if you swapped over, she'd be slagging you off for living the easy life in the hospital and leaving poor DH to cope with the 3 and the house.
When are you going to cut this fuckers off, they'll never change you know, they'll never be the support you wish they were.
ollieplimsoles · 21/07/2015 19:31
Stupid old cow.
Your DH sounds lovely and you sound like you are pulling together as a family through a difficult time.
Glad they are home now, block your MILs number and have no more contact with her.
Some MILs people just want to watch the world burn.
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