To think you can just reinvent yourself if you so wish?

[milkandmarmite]

Just like that - overnight? I'm fed up with what I've got, so thinking of waking up tomorrow and starting a 'reinventing' process.

My diet, my body, my clothes, my hair, my confidence, my social life..i could go on...It all needs a thorough overhaul.

AIBU to think you can just wake up one morning and start afresh? Anyone done it?

Yes, you can change yourself. I disagree with PP that say it takes money. Sure, money makes everything easier, but lack of money in no way means you can't change yourself.

I found this book ('Be Your Own Life Coach') incredibly helpful.

Of course you can if you want to.

The main point is the image you project to others. Once you know what image you want then you tell yourself that you're x and y so frequently you believe it. You tell others mentally you're x and y in order for your body language to give off that impression. Then you have to dress the part. Save up for spring/summer key pieces and autumn/winter key pieces. Quality not quantity is the key. I find white tops help merge the seasons key pieces together.

I've recently gotten fed up of my Breton mum look and not socialising beyond the school gates/obligatory play dates/soft play etc. I've contacted some old work colleagues and we get together every other month now. I've changed my hair from long honey locks to mid length bronde. I have changed beauty products, right down to soap and shower gel (from super expensive to Dove deep care complex). I have also signed up to glossy box for an introduction to new products every month. And for the first time in 9 years (6 spent working in science and 3 as a SAHM), I'm starting to draw again with a view to building up a portfolio.

I do it every few years. Life is too short. I went from the quiet, mousey girl at school to a party animal at uni and in my early twenties to sophisticated & creative mid twenties professional to science geek in my very late twenties to early thirties to a m/c SAHM look in my mid thirties.

Pixi2, you are my new role model .

Do it, of course it's possible.
Those that are saying it's only possible for those with money so we just have to put up with it are talking bollocks. Ignore them.

course you can.

You can't wake up and have it all done and you jump out of bed 3 stone lighter with a whole new wardrobe and a diary full of appointments but you absolutely can wake up and say right THIS is the day I change my life - and begin to do it.

I changed my life quite a lot when I was younger. For me there were two key aspects to success:

1. Recognise that will power is finite - don't try and do too much at once if it requires willpower ie dieting, writing a novel, or the like.

1. Change is two steps forward, one step back and so on. Trick is to recognise that a step back is OK and doesn't mean that change can't still happen.

Good luck!

I'm trying to do it now, and do think it is possible. I'm on a diet and am really feeling much more confident, now I'm not self-conscious of my pudge - sort of two for the price of one: look better and feel better!

I found a new hairdresser (have had compliments on my hair recently), ditched glasses for contact lenses and have bought some new clothes.

That's the externals, but I'm also working on my stress and anxiety levels (am relatively recently off ADs), mindfulness and had some counselling last year.

It's a work in progress, but actually just remembering the differences from how I used to be can be a huge spur to further action. Everyone gets into a rut now and again; it's just good to evaluate whether it's a rut you're happy in and if not, change it!

I think small steps sounds better than expecting it to happen overnight :)

I am about to do this OP and this thread is inspiring.

I have done it but the next change is well overdue.

Most of the changes were due to circumstances - I took a leap and went with the consequences. I have been trapped for the last few years, money, kids etc. Time to move. House on market within next two months. (No choice in this - financial reasons among others) but realise it is time to be a new person.

Thank you for this thread and for all of you. Really a bit of a nudge in the right direction

Some really lovely messages here and making me feel like I CAN be who I want to be. I don't necessarily agree with you Meglet, though I have felt like I have had to 'make do' hence I put the thread up in the first place.

I am a single parent to a SN DS equaling little time.. but I don't think that means I have to put up with a life of being miserable with myself? Self improvements will hopefully make me into a better, more confident Mum.

March will definitely look at that book thank you. And thanks for all the other inspiring messages. I've already cleaned out the freezer, booked in a counselling session and spoken to another Mum this morning!

sorry milk I didn't mean to be so negative . I'm a LP too but short on cash and time to fix the things that are wrong with me (can't get rid of self harm scars and will always be judged on them so they get me down).

There's only YOU stopping you being what you want to be.

It won't be overnight but it can be done.

Don't apologise! -I totally understand re. LP and cash situation.

Re. self harm scars, no you can't get rid, but can you focus on all the good bits that you have? Sure there are loads!!! People don't to notice these things as much we feel they might. Esp. when we exude confidence in other ways. If that makes any sense.

Gemma you are totally right. And I have stopped it for too long!

Milk buy yourself a beautiful little notebook and write down what you want to achieve and a time span for doing so. Then every day write down what you have done towards your goals. Even if it is just a little something it will keep you focused and culpable to "you". Also what about a pinterest board of your own where you can have different boards like exercise, hair, makeup, house etc and pin ideas onto it that you love and want to achieve. You can also use instagram and make a lot of online friends that way (if you want to)

I don't think it's really a yes or no answer.
Obviously if you can if you have the money but you can also look emaculate on a budget.
But sometimes a persons circumstances does not allow for looking nice. Sometimes a women can be so down trodden that she lets herself go and has no interest in her appearance or her OH controls the finances. Some people don't give a hoot what they look like and are quite content. Good for them I say but it wouldn't be. I get dressed up like I'm going for a night out just to go to Adsa.
Each to their own

Jillian Michaels says 'transformation is NOT a future event, it begins today!!' - wise words; I LOVE that woman :)

Sometimes just making the decision to change your life can be transformative in its own way.

Definitely don't listen to the naysayers

IME it snowballs - you start something new, you meet new people, learn new things... without realising it you are perceiving yourself differently.

I think that's the key actually: you are you, unique and wonderful and that's a good thing. But by trying new things, whether it's cosmetically, new hobbies/sports, being more confident in yourself, you change how you see yourself... and how other people see you, so they treat your differently...

Make a list, start working through it. For instance, easy things like smile more, and speak more loudly and clearly - they're completely free and make a huge difference!

Good luck!!

I agree with MissShun - DP changed his lifestyle and therefore his social life, it started with him not going out drinking on a Friday night and playing 5 a side instead and then it snowballed!

You can do it!!

I found i had lost my way, although i wadnt as dissatisfied as the op, but reading how to do everything and be happy by peter jones helped me make some goals, change a few things and feel much happier with my life.

Following because I love the idea of this too! Good luck OP!!!!

I agree with the list making. Every year I make a list of things I want to achieve, from big things like 'change career' to small things like 'learn to use chopsticks'. This years list has 65 things on it!

3 years ago. I was employed in a well laid job that sucked my soul away little by little. Also a mum of 2, very over weight generally unhappy, didn't feel I had enough time to spend with the kids never mind doing something for me. I was miserable.

Since then I have lost 9 stone, become a power lifter and kick boxer, own my own successful business, spend loads of time with the kids. Got the hair cut I wanted instead of one that I could make look ok for work. People can't believe I am the same person.

It didn't happen overnight. However the decision to sort myself out did. I just had enough of hating myself. So started making small changes.

My old work colleagues don't recognise me when they see me. My life is totally different and it started one night when enough was enough

Yes of course you can do it. I don't agree that it costs money.
It doesn't cost much to eat less junk and more veg, to drink more water, to go for long walks, to chat to people, to meet people for trips to the park with kids or for a run. Going out for a coffee with a friend or inviting them over for one needn't cost more than the price of the coffee.
You can borrow books for free from the library.
You can take care of your skin using oils and flannels (look at oil cleansing method). You can use a good conditioner for your hair. This will cost something but not a lot.
You can use free apps to track your progress.
The biggest expense will be all your new clothes when you list lots if weight.