To think DH no longer loves me and I am justified in fucking off.

[MakeThemEatCake]

I've been out, drinking. I came back in a flirty mood because I am drunk...I tried to be flirty with DH of 13 years...he's not interested. I have severe depression and he knows that. I told him another man showed me interest tonight (true). Topless flirting resulted in: "I'm just tired"... he's not interested, right? Should I just quit now, while some dignity remains?

If any men are reading, is that a bad sign? Pathetic to ask, I know.

Glad I could help. I think eventually, that 'alternate reality' will be so appealing that making the decision will be relatively easy.

Another thing to do is 'solidify your options'. That means (with no firm intention of leaving) to look around at housing/rental prices and living costs in areas you like, what benefits/credits you might be entitled to, that sort of thing. Just getting a general idea of 'if I wanted to this is what I'd have'. Not trying to get a firm financial picture all at once, but just out of curiosity, iyswim.

Yes, DS1 is a wonderful man (if I say so myself). My only 'problem' with him is the 'no kids' thing. But it's his decision and he certainly shouldn't have kids just because I want to be a granny!

I'm going to have a look around. There's a part of me that believes I can be happier than this...theres a fantasy I have that is me and DS walking on a beach somewhere, listening to this particular song. With a feeling that I've made a decision that's all mine and that me and him are 'ok', and that I'm not living to please selfish people anymore. Its been a dream of mine for about 5 years now. If it ever happens I'll post on here and let you know

I imagine I'll be the same in the future about wanting grandchildren, glad to hear he's happy though, you've obviously done a fantastic job raising him and seem very wise! I appreciate all your advice its helped lots

Hold on to that dream. And to quote Cinderella; 'A dream is a wish your heart makes'.

I think you know what you want. You'll get there when the time is right.