to think i shouldnt be blamed for someone elses health problems?

[jasminedxx]

Hi im really pissed off about this so if i am being unreasonable tell me,
i have just moved to a new property its social housing, i am the middle flat of a 3 storey building
there is no sound proofing in here, i hear the guy upstairs and i know the old man downstairs hears me,
i walk around in slippers, no young children are allowed in my flat, i dont play loud music and i have now started to turn my tv off at 8pm and watch things with headphones on the laptop.

received a letter today from neighbourhood manager stating i must carpet my floor within 10days since the housing association have provided me with 200 pounds towards carpet right.
200 will not carpet my flat
i will have to add my own money
i have also already told them i am allergic to carpet and will get vinyl planks yet they insist carpet since they are giving me 200
also in this letter they have stated the neighbour downstairs has complained about my noise and it is having a "negative impact on the health and wellbeing of your neighbor"

the guy who lives downstairs is an old man so if he drops dead tomorrow it seems like they are blaming me?
maybe im being dramatic?

the guy downstairs also complained about the last woman who lived here, he doesnt get along with my upstairs neighbor because he complained about something about him i don't know but he is just a serial complainer, he expects complete silence

im not trying to be a nuisance but i feel a bit picked on tbh
aibu?

i have lived with noise from upstairs and i understand its stressful but i hear the guy upstairs and he has carpet in his flat.

i work 16 hours so i do not earn that much to be adding the extra money in 10 days, i also have a 4 week old baby and my mother just died in may.

Why did you say that no young children are allowed in your flat when you have a tiny baby who you can't stop crying?

I'm shocked at how hard people are being on you.

When I moved into my HA flat we were told how wonderful the soundproofing was, state of the art and everything; it was an old building that had been converted.

After a few months it was clear the sound proofing was non-existent, we got environmental health in who did sound test checks and backed up our complaints. The HA had to lower the ceilings and install actual sound proof materials in the flats below me, I'm at the top, thank God. It did not make much difference.

I wonder if your HA is aware of the lack of sound proofing in your building, hence the money for carpeting/flooring? Your health complaints are just as important as your neighbours, so talk to your HA and reach a compromise.

I'm shocked at how hard people are being on you
/
This

prorsum seems to have a good idea. It just doesn't sound like a feasible place to live. I am not allergic to carpets, but loath them with a passion. Fortunately I live in an old building and there is a good space between the flooring and the ceiling of my neighbour below. I rarely hear anything from my upstairs neighbours. Is there enough room height for you to put some joints in and raise the floor?

Cork boards were the flooring provided when I moved in. This is the sub floor and is not my fault this is the sub floor.

the man downstairs has been trying to intimidate me since I moved in I suspect because he thinks I am alone here.
The first day I moved in he rang my bell to say I'm walking to loud and moving furniture to loud. I just moved in.
He then rang my bell because my tv was on at 7pm and it was to loud for him.
He again rang my bell because I was hammering to hang a picture and curtain rails at 3pm and asked me to stop. I said to him why he doesn't complain about the builders across the road who start work at 8am EVERY week day.

He has rang my bell several times after to which I have ignored and he has banged on the wall at me once when I got up at around 12am because my baby woke up and I turned on a singing toy
now I have recieved this letter.

Young children who can walk are banned from my flat and adults because he will just complain again. I did this ban until I get some floor/underlay down.

It's like no matter what I do there's ab issue.
Some on here have commented on him being allowed to enjoy his flat. Well am I not allowed to do that as well?
I can hear the guy upstairs, this flat is not soundproofed.
I was annoyed at the letter as his health issues are nothing to do with the noise. I know this because he also complained about the last woman who lived here and she had carpet down. He just wants complete silence.

Atenco im fine with putting a thick underlay down. The ceilings here are really high so I don't mind that.

If he complained about the previous occupier would this not be on record? Could you use this to ask the HA to put in sound monitoring equipment to check whether he's just being difficult?
Could you identify which area is the big problem, such as above his bedroom, & just carpet that?
It's not easy when you have to creep around all the time.

The £200 is probably a decorating voucher- not specifically for carpet but to help OP decorate the flat. If it is specifically for ie carpetright it's obv not enough- what's so bad about the OP having go wait until she can afford it?

OP I would respond to the HA staying everything you've said here and that you feel bullied. Explain you can't afford the carpet right now. Don't say anything about the man dying as I'm sure you realise that was a pretty bizarre thing to say

OP you sound shattered. Are you working 16 hours a week currently, with a 4 week old?
Can you use the voucher/money to get some rugs - even charity shop ones as a stopgap.
If the neighbour downstairs continues to harass you, ask him calmly exactly what he wants you to do. If he is still unreasonable, ask him politely to not contact you again direct but to go via HA. Be frank that you feel he is victimising you.
Also, see if there is a HomeStart near to you. You do sound like you could do with some additional support

You posted about this man the week you moved in, didn't you?

You must be very stressed. You are living a very restricted life in your attempts to be reasonable.

Did they send you the carpet voucher without asking whether you wanted it?

Write to them.

Explain what you've said here (not the stuff about the neighbour dropping dead!). List everything you've done to minimize noise. Explain the carpet allergy issue. Explain that you are proposing vinyl planks (plus rugs?? might be wise) and why. Also explain that you need extra time to save up. Say how long.

Emphasise that you are keen to co-operate, but need to consider your own health.

Send it recorded delivery. Keep the receipt and a copy of the letter.

There is a thread running at the moment. It is talking about mean posters getting worse. Not exactly, but you get my point.
Here, we have the most perfect example of it. I'm wondering if any of the first responders to op actually read it at all?

She is being intimidated, and bullied in (what is supposed to be) her home.
She just moved in!
She has a tiny baby!
I'm sorry Jasmine it sounds really difficult for you at the moment. My HA has a complaints procedure. Please look in to that. Do you have a home officer? You need support too. Good luck.

Wow a few of the beginning posters just wanted to stick the boot in.

I would write back as pp have suggested. Tell them about him knocking all the time, what you do to limit your noise (which is more than I'd do!), about your allergies and that you will lay vinyl. Perhaps get someone to read it through for you?

Is there any other support for you? Is your HV any good?

I feel for you - I used to live downstairs from a man who would scream abuse if I flushed the loo after 8pm. I moved - there is no reasoning with these people.

I also think he should not be knocking on the door repeatedly of a single woman.

You can get massive cotton rugs from Amazon for about £35 which is what we have on our laminate because our pets don't like it. But I would look into moving all the same. Living on tenterhooks like this is soul destroying, especially with a tiny baby.

Hugs op. My mum suffered years of complaints about her from a couple of neighbours who decided that they didn't want to live next door to a ha tenant. I eventually helped her stick up for herself and reported the worst offenders to the police.

£200 isn't going to carpet your flat. At a push you might get some very very basic landlords package. The horrible stuff that looks like it has pubes in it. It has no pile hardly so might make your allergies easier.

You need to make an appointment at the housing association and discuss with them what you have told us. You need them to write down your version of events. You need to ask them to tell your downstairs neighbour to stop ringing your bell and banging on your door.

Do you have a health visitor or a midwife still? Could they possibly help you write down the impact he is having on your health and happiness? Do you have any other family? A sister or auntie maybe?

If you can I would go to carpet right and get a quote for the cheapest option to cover the floors. Is lino an option? It would be in the terms if your tenancy as uts not wood or laminate and shouldn't set your allergies off. Then you can jazz it up with some rugs when you get the money. Though with a baby you might want to wait a while!

Hugs to you and your little squish. I suspect your downstairs neighbour is a bully and wants the flat above him empty. A woman on her own with a tiny baby is an easy target. Stand up for yourself and don't let him spoil your new home.

I would make a formal complaint that he is hounding you about normal household noise.

Washable rugs

I think all the restrictions you are putting in yourself must be terrible, and it's not normal, no-one can live in total silence.

Maybe also ask the HA about mediation (??)

You need to show them how reasonable you are and that whilst;

a) you are taking the noise issue seriously and doing everything humanly possible to ease that problem, that;

b) you have good reason to complain about his unreasonable behaviour.

Also state in a letter of complaint about the neighbour hounding you about normal house hold noise (give examples), that you have 200 funds only and can they suggest a solution because your carpet dust allergy is your main concern. You can't afford or have carpet for allergy reasons. You can put forward your idea for flooring too.

The thread was doomed as soon as social housing and being given money for flooring was mentioned.

OP outline in a letter back (or make an appointment with a HO) what you've said in your first post and the unreasonable things you have had to do in an attempt to pacify this bloke.. Do a bit of complaining of your own and suggest that if this gentleman wants total silence them he should be moved somewhere else. You cannot float about.

Now what you have been doing has not been working has it so it's time to start living as normal again.this is not sustainable.

OP, your post could have been me 5 years ago. I bought a flat in a council block and the guy downstairs complained constantly to the Housing office about the noise from my flat. I never wore shoes, the TV was always off by 10pm, I did not have parties, or friends over, I stopped having the radio on, even at a low volumn. I stopped vacuuming, I fitted soft closures to the doors. He claimed to the council I had removed the carpets and had put in wood flooring (I hadn't), he posted intimidating letters through my door etc. Eventually I spoke to the housing office and they recognised he was harassing me and threatened to evict him if he continued. He had previous form.

I would write back to the HA asking explaining calmly the situation with the carpet allergies and how quiet you are being. I would then ask them which room they would prefer you carpet with the £200 - Carpet Right have anti allergy carpets which may not irritate you. These steps maybe be a suitable compromise.

Once you have done this you can legitimately ignore downstairs.

Incidentally once my DP moved in the weirdo downstairs stopped complaining........

Best of luck OP.

I really feel for you.

Put everything in writing to the HA. Tell them that you have done all you can and how it is effecting your day to day life. Ask if there is a pattern to his behaviour (ie complaining about everyone who has lived there). Suggest that the HA pay for sound monitoring equipment in his flat. It's their problem if the sound proofing is very poor.
Frankly, you need to live! All you are doing is existing and eventually it will effect your health.
Is you baby 4 weeks? Get your gp involved and health visitor - they can advise and support you. You are not alone.
People have been so horrible to you on this thread. If you need help with writing letters etc pm me.
Xx

OP start making a note of each complaint he has about you. It sucks not being able to live in your own home.

Dysons are very loud (okay, mine is very loud). Will be a lot more noise to whiz that around twice a day than to gently sweep.

Op from what you've described I can't understand what noise your neighbor is complaining about!

Don't put down carpet if you are allergic to it,have a look online and see if there's something else you could put down.

Being as the neighbor complained about the last lady that lived where your now living he could just be one of those people.

We have all different ages and family set ups in our road,there's one older guy that complains about everything and everyone to anyone that will listen.I feel quite sorry for him now because he must have a pretty miserable life,complaining and moaning constantly about nothing.

Would maybe going on the charm offensive with the complaining neighbor help?

Congratulations on the baby and I am very sorry to hear about your Mother,it's still very early days for you,I lost my Mum a year ago April and it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.I can't imagine having lost my Mum whilst having such a young baby and then with the problems your having with your neighbor as well.

Like others have suggested I'd also speak to someone in the know about what you can do about all the complaints.

Maybe they could lend you some equipment that records any noise and what level it is at in your flat,that way when it's well below what's to loud they could show your downstairs neighbor,it might stop all the complaints.

Good Luck OP