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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shouldn't we expect just a little bit more of the Duchess of Cambridge.

772 replies

sweetgrape · 18/07/2015 20:18

Never turned up for one single memorial service for the armed forces, but there at Center Court, Wimbledon, rubbing shoulders with a load of celebs,and entertaining Brad and Angelina Pitt at Kensington Palace. Is this what her royal life boils down to.

OP posts:

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Hotbot · 19/07/2015 06:38

Hmm forget Kate what's really getting my goat is all the shite that is being written about the Kate alike Dr. wills is working with.
I would be raging if I were HR, worked hard, doing a treat job and instantly denigrated to wills soon to be flopsy , disgraceful

LaurieMarlow · 19/07/2015 07:00

I can't get excited about this. She's entitled to skip the services as she's on mat leave. I'd jump at the Wimbledon tickets too.

But then she has a rep for being a bit work shy. How long did she actually work in Jigsaw again? So I expect this colours people's views.

lemonylimelou · 19/07/2015 07:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mehitabel6 · 19/07/2015 07:09

I don't think that you should be attending memorial services sweetgrape but before you go criticising other people you should be at least telling us all the things that you do for your local community. You don't have to be royal to get off your backside and make a difference. I might think that you had a point if I actually knew what you had done with a baby and a toddler.

MaggieJoyBlunt · 19/07/2015 07:21

A lot of their approach (workload, schedule, PR strategy etc) is probably actually P William's doing.

He's pretty openly hostile to being told what to do and to the media.

I'm sure it's a reaction to the events of his childhood, issues surrounding his parents and so on, but I'm not sure it's clever.

I suspect it will cause problems as he moves up the succession.

MaggieJoyBlunt · 19/07/2015 07:22

before you go criticising other people you should be at least telling us all the things that you do for your local community

Is OP a Royal or in a public role?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 19/07/2015 07:22

sorry, you cannot equate sweetgrape's position with that if the duchess of Cambridge.

I'm assuming she is not a taxpayer funded public figure; and

It's highly unlikely that she has the same (self-admitted) amounts of childcare etc that the Duchess of Cambridge does

And, for all the people saying they would jump on Wimbledon tickets when they were on mat leave, the whole point is that she wasn't invited as a private individual - she was invited as a member of the royal family. It was a public engagement and therefore people will look at it in the context of what other public engagements she is chiding to attend at that time.

I quite like the monarchy but I did write an earlier post saying that I thought that DofC has a bit of a perception problem that she could do well to address.

I think most of the comments on this thread have been reasonable from people raising questions. These are public figures and it is right that members of the public are able to question what they are doing and their ongoing value without being called ugly, spiteful, jealous bullies

I see it as exactly the same as when I look at my MP's contribution and I'd be pretty shocked if that was his response to me. I'd be even more surprised if I had a female MP who dismissed any queries I had out if hand on the basis that she was a woman and that I, as a woman, had to show sisterly solidarity with everything she did. Out of interest, for those who hold these views, how do you cope with performance reviews at work? Will you only accept these being carried out by men?

MaggieJoyBlunt · 19/07/2015 07:25

These are public figures and it is right that members of the public are able to question what they are doing and their ongoing value without being called ugly, spiteful, jealous bullies hmmblush

I see it as exactly the same as when I look at my MP's contribution and I'd be pretty shocked if that was his response to me.

Gobbolino

Imustgodowntotheseaagain · 19/07/2015 07:28

I think you are spot on, Maggie - it's a kind of trade, isn't it? They get the Civil List money and a life of luxury, in exchange for which we get to see them open things, take an interest in charities, Do Good Works, and pose for press photos now and again.

William comes across as someone who wants the first without the second.

Of course, I don't know him from Adam, but this is how he comes across in the media, and if he wanted a different image, there's plenty of PR experts he could call on. Worked wonders for Camilla!

Mehitabel6 · 19/07/2015 07:34

Of course OP isn't a royal but I don't think that people should criticise unless they can show that they manage to do a lot themselves.
In my experience the moaners are not the doers.
I suspect that OP did very little with babies and toddlers and maternity leave but is happy to sit back and say that others are a disgrace because they are similar.
Either D of C has a job being royal and is on maternity leave or it isn't a job and so she isn't obliged anyway. You can't have it both ways by saying it isn't a job but she has to be working!

Fallout4 · 19/07/2015 07:36

Hmmm memorial service versus meeting Brad Pitt....
Brad Pitt wins hands down...bloody hell she's only human and because she chose Wimbledon I think it makes her even more my kind of gal! I am a forces wife too!
Hope all of those who are slagging her off for not going to the memorial service went to a local memorial service themselves because that would be a tad hypocritical.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 19/07/2015 07:36

God help the Royal Family, if their PR advisors take the same view.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Prunce Abdrew surrounds himself with advisers who assure him that anyone who criticises him is a vile, jealous bully and he should be able to do whatever He likes (i.e. stay chummy with convinced paedophiles, sell his house for a vastly inflated price to shady characters). Hence why the public perception of him is so poor.

MaggieJoyBlunt · 19/07/2015 07:37

it's a kind of trade, isn't it?

It's how it's always worked until now.

Of course, they're the first generation of Royals who haven't seen in their own lifetimes how fragile Monarchies can be and how they live or die by public support. (Arguably the second, I suppose). That might be a factor too.

Bakeoffcake · 19/07/2015 07:39

I personally admire the queen but don't think much of the rest of them. I want the monarchy to go after the queen dies, or a huge downsizing of it.
Apart from the monarch and his/her desendents, the rest of them can live like Zara and Philip- no titles and no money from us.
I'm not sure, and I hope that the younger generation of Britains, will not put up with all the hangers on and their privileges.

What confuses me about this thread is.... What did you actually expect? Did you really think KM would be back "working" a few months after giving birth? I didn't, I don't know why it shocks anyone.

LaurieMarlow · 19/07/2015 07:40

Gobbelino, you're splitting hairs somewhat over the wider context of her public engagements. I can't see the average person getting upset about this.

If you buy into the premise if her having mat leave in the first place, she's exempt from the job. If she wants to dip in for something fun, that's her prerogative. When I was on mat leave I pitched up for a day long work jolly. Everyone was pleased to see me and didn't insist I write a few reports to even out the balance

MaggieJoyBlunt · 19/07/2015 07:41

Of course OP isn't a royal but I don't think that people should criticise unless they can show that they manage to do a lot themselves.

I suspect a lot of posters are reflecting on just how much they could (have) got done in the baby & toddler years IF they had a FT childcare plus other staff and only minor work commitments Mehitabel.

It's quite unusual to have all that help and next to nothing on employment-wise. So people try to imagine it.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 19/07/2015 07:43

Either D of C has a job being royal and is on maternity leave or it isn't a job and so she isn't obliged anyway. You can't have it both ways by saying it isn't a job but she has to be working!

That was my exact earlier point - if she is on maternity leave, then she's on mat leave. Not turning up at Wimbledon as a public figure because that sounds quite jolly and fun whilst ignoring other more "worthy" but "boring" duties.

And, as I said earlier, it is ridiculous to say that no one can criticise (and it's not actually criticism, it's questioning how public figures who are meant to be representing us act) unless they do exactly the same job

As I said earlier, I see it as the same as speaking to my MP about his input. I had a perfectly civilised conversation with him about something he he hadn't done but had undertaken to do without him chasing me out of his surgery shouting that I could only raise any issues once I had also been an MP for 15 years and done all the travelling to Westminster etc.

LaurieMarlow · 19/07/2015 07:44

I suspect that OP did very little with babies and toddlers and maternity leave but is happy to sit back and say that others are a disgrace because they are similar.

This is breathtakingly presumptuous. You have no idea what the OP did or didn't do

MaggieJoyBlunt · 19/07/2015 07:47

I suspect that OP did very little with babies and toddlers and maternity leave but is happy to sit back and say that others are a disgrace because they are similar.

Ha, I missed that. Are you serious Mehitabel?

On what grounds do you "suspect" that?

Icimoi · 19/07/2015 07:48

You need to look at the length of her likely working life too. How many of us will still be turning out to do our duty at the age of 94?

Mehitabel6 · 19/07/2015 07:56

I suspect it because I have asked her at least twice and she hasn't given me an answer. If she does tell me all that she managed then I would be prepared to think she had a point!
She can't please everyone- whatever she does will be wrong in some eyes so she might as well do as she likes.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 19/07/2015 08:00

She can't please everyone- whatever she does will be wrong in some eyes so she might as well do as she like

I don't agree - it's very rare that people are criticised for working hard. Even the most staunch republicans generally admit a sneaking respect for the Queen, Prince Philip and Princess Anne based on their work ethics

For the avoidance of doubt, I do think that the DofC should take maternity leave and enjoy it. Her perception problem started pre DC, when she had more time to be working.

eatingworms · 19/07/2015 08:02

On one hand people are saying she doesn't have a job and doesn't work.
Then in the same breath they are saying she should be attending this engagement and that engagement as it is her role.
If that is what she should be doing then isn't that her.....er....job? The job that she is currently on mat leave from?
If you insist tgat she doesn't work, then she doesn't need to attend these things does she? You can't have it both ways so which is it?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 19/07/2015 08:13

I think if she's on mat leave, she's on mat leave. No public engagements required.

If she decides to come off mat leave (essentially a KIT day) then by all means go to the tennis. But try and do a more worthy public engagement too that actually gives back to the general public - ie a visit that raises a charity's profile.

It's common knowledge that DofC is a huge tennis fan so it does appear that she is willing to go to the tennis/visit the downton abbey set quite happily but less keen to carry out engagements that she doesn't find personally enjoyable. As a public funded figure (and that's why she was at the tennis), her personal enjoyment should not be the deciding factor as to why she picks a public engagement. If that was the case, the Queen would have spent most of her life at the horse racing!

I said this in my earlier posts and also said that I think DofC's biggest issue is a perception problem - which is not ideal when you have to justify your existence to the general public when undertaking public roles - such as watching the tennis and meeting Brad Pitt

She is quite entitled not to want to justify herself. And that's fine. She and William can retire from public life. At that time, they can arrange their own tickets to Wimbledon and meetings with Brad Pitt and visits to the Downton Abbey set all as private individuals and at their own cost. Quite rightly, no one should be able to pass comment on that. However, that is not the current situation

MaggieJoyBlunt · 19/07/2015 08:13

I suspect it because I have asked her at least twice and she hasn't given me an answer. If she does tell me all that she managed then I would be prepared to think she had a point!

But unless OP is a public figure with staff it's an irrelevant question, isn't it? Like the enquiries about OP's charitable commitments.

I'm a bit confused by all of the comparisons with "normal people", TBH, both pro and anti KM. She isn't anything like 99.9% of us.

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