Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get so angry over a facebook status?!

45 replies

clashofclanswidow · 18/07/2015 13:17

I need to vent, I'm sorry!

I lost it yesterday as my "friend" posted a facebook status saying she was so glad she didn't give her boy a dummy as she never misses a smile!

As a dummy giving Mother, I made a joke of saying, can kids with dummies not smile then?!

What started out as light-heartedness, suddenly turned into the most pathetic display with her sister and boyfriend joining in! Haha

Now I was never out to cause an arguement but in my opinion she was...

There is a big difference in "My boy has got a lovely smile" to "I'm glad I didn't give him a dummy etc" There's no need. It's like me saying "I'm glad I didn't wake up with a hangover this morning, must have been the alcohol I didn't drink yesterday!"

Now I may have over thought this but some more facts are...not a month ago she was asking ME if she should give her boy a dummy??

The month before that she asked me about sleep training as her boy doesn't sleep. I told her we did it for two days and have had no sleep problems since. That also went on facebook "I don't know how anyone can let there baby cry!"

I struggled with breastfeeding, hormone troubles and my daughter would latch but not suck, we had a BF councellor and alsorts and she saw me in tears over this. After we talked she posts...so glad I breastfed my boy, I've given him "the best start in life and all the comfort and love he deserves"

I could go on but the dummy was the last straw! It's like she's goading me. Each time she has asked my opinion it has always come with "but that's what we did, every parent is different!" so why she has to feel like she's got to lord over anyone I'll never know!

Am I so wrong to be so paranoid and wound up over it? I think it's appauling behaviour and if the shoe was on the other foot I would never dream of being so heartless?!

Sorry for the essay...needed to get that off my chest somewhere!!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 18/07/2015 13:21

It's her timeline though, so just block her if she winds you up so much.

All this is very important to you both at this stage in your child's lives, but in a few years time it'll be a distant memory and such a tiny part of bringing up your kids.

I couldn't be bothered getting wound up if such a simple solution was staring me in the face. Even if you think blocking her would be awkward, you can simply block her from your news feed and she'll never know.

thunderbird69 · 18/07/2015 13:25

De-friend or hide all her posts.

Original poster
clashofclanswidow · 18/07/2015 13:27

Thanks, that's what I've done. Left her as a friend but unfollowed her news feed.

The thing that annoys me is she never says this to my face!

How she can sit there saying "Oh yeah, we might try that then" to then go say completely the opposite on facebook nearly immediately after, is just beyond me.

She's perfectly entitled to her opinions on her own facebook but not at my expense where she knows I am likely to see it (I run a business on social media)

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 18/07/2015 13:27

I don't think she's goading you deliberately but you do need to unfollow her. Easiest way is to go on to her page to find the options.

Pedestriana · 18/07/2015 13:27

You've done what works for you, she does what works for her. It does sound as though she's a bit goady - intentionally or otherwise. Defriend or hide her.

Original poster
clashofclanswidow · 18/07/2015 13:32

Thanks all.

I'm just gutted tbh. I sold both my prams to her at bargain mates rates and I've gone out to her at all hours of the day when she's split up from her drug-addicted boyfriend and now this. She's changed! =/

Like I say, I could be over thinking it but it's too coincidental to me. I've ignored it all in the past but to go and mention dummies when there was actually no need was just degrading to people that do imo.

OP posts:
DawnOfTheDoggers · 18/07/2015 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

countryandchickens · 18/07/2015 13:35

Thing is, I am proud I breastfed; as it wasn't easy for me a lot of the time and I don't enjoy it. But I did and I'm proud of that. But I can't say so as it might upset somebody who didn't?

SilverBirchWithout · 18/07/2015 13:36

It sounds, from your description, that the basis of her friendship towards you is to make her feel better about herself and her choices.

At best she is crass and insensitive, at worst she is a bitch. That being said, motherhood can be a strange thing sometimes, and people who lack confidence in their abilities can be quite unusually competitive. Have you known her a long time? If not, in your position, I would drop her as a friend. Certainly hide her posts.

Original poster
clashofclanswidow · 18/07/2015 13:36

It's annoying me so much that I'm allowing myself to think about it so much! I don't know why it has got to me so badly! GRRR!

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 18/07/2015 13:38

I hate things like this!!

Unnecessary passive aggressive digs at other people's parenting choices just to make themselves feel superior.

Just yuck!

Original poster
clashofclanswidow · 18/07/2015 13:40

We have been friends over 8 years =(

That's not what I meant country, I'm not saying she couldn't be proud of herself. She knows I was so pleased for her and we had in depth conversations about it when she came over.

It was just the timing of it all for her to be sat in my house with me explaining I'll always guilty that we couldn't do it to the point I was in tears (first time Mum pressure) to having to read her oh so proud post the next day? =/

OP posts:
LondonRocks · 18/07/2015 13:43

Fgs, unfriend her.

bigbumtheory · 18/07/2015 14:08

I agree with SilverBirchWithout, sounds like she is a bit competitive. Hide her posts and let her come to you.

youareallbonkers · 18/07/2015 15:36

Dear god...how old are you? 12?

Goshthatsspicy · 18/07/2015 15:50

you that isn't kind.
Facebook can be upsetting.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 18/07/2015 16:13

She sounds deliberately nasty to me, and rather insecure/smug. Defriend her.

Luckyfellow · 18/07/2015 16:19

It sounds like she is deliberately trying to make you and others who bottlefed or used dummies or sleep trained feel bad. I'd ignore her.

Original poster
clashofclanswidow · 18/07/2015 16:23

Cheers for the pointless input there you =/

Thanks all, I'm already feeling better just having got it off my chest.

I know it's silly to let it bother me so much. Next time she asks my opinion on something I'm just say "Dunno, google it" Haha =)

OP posts:
haveabreakhaveakitkat · 18/07/2015 16:29

Things like this drive me nuts too. Friend who home schools often does statuses such as 'So glad we chose to home school. Our children won't be robots'.

Hide her and get on with your life. Chances are her little one will find his thumb and that's much harder to stop than a dummy.

TRexingInAsda · 18/07/2015 16:32

YABU to be that angry about it. It's FB, people post how their lives are so great regardless of how true, or not, that is. You should defriend, or give up FB altogether if people showing off really pisses you off that much.

bigbumtheory · 18/07/2015 16:41

Yes, I' go with 'best to google it, there's loads of ideas out there, find which one fits you.' Throws it back in her court and makes it clear that you have your own way and she needs to find hers.

tomatodizzymum · 18/07/2015 18:15

You don't need to unfriend her, I would just ignore her feeds and let it go, and be thankful that facebook news feeds are not broadcast on your livingroom wall, with sound. People that are great IRL can be annoying as fuck on facebook. I like facebook but I do often read it with Hmm that face.

FujimotosElixir · 18/07/2015 18:20

She sounds like a bit of a Sanctimommy, you get em! Block/unfollow.

Silvercatowner · 18/07/2015 18:23

Why would you have someone like that as a friend? Because she isn't.