Inspired by other threads which bemoan the DP/DH not doing his fair share of child-related duties.
The advice given on these threads is often about calculating and dividing duties up so each partner has equal free time. And about how if DP/DH didn't have OP, he would have to pay £££ for childcare. There seems to be an assumption that the DC are always a 50/50 responsibility.
Now, obviously, these men fathered these children (they could have used a condom or abstained!) so they ARE their responsibility, in terms of chores AND financially.
But...now don't shoot me down...DID these men want children in the first place? Did it just "happen" or did he just go along with it because OP wanted children or because it's just the "done thing"? I've never met a man who is desperate for children in the same way women can be.
Does anyone know of a set-up whereby the man said (maybe if he already has grown up children?) "Ok, we can have a baby but you have to do the lion's share of the chores". (A bit like if one partner wants a dog!!!!) Has a man ever turned around and said "no, YOU wanted the DC, YOU do the night feeds"?
I hope this makes sense and is not seen as goady. Just something I've wondered about.
Did you and DP/DH want children equally as much? Do you feel bad asking him to do XYZ if you, ahem, talked him into becoming a father of if it was, ahem, "accidental"?! (I have heard such confessions on MN!)
Thanks in advance.
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AIBU?
to wonder if these chore-shy men WANTED to be dads?
37 replies
LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 18/07/2015 10:51
OP posts:
Preciousbane ·
18/07/2015 11:17
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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