AIBU to think you can't expect friends and acquaintances to fund your postgraduate dreams?

[FickleByNurture]

A friend of mine in his late 20s has just asked me to donate to his GoFundMe. He wants to do a PhD but says he can't afford it. He's looking for ~£20k in donations.

He says that he's been accepted for a PhD, which IME you will be if you offer to self fund and all that is standing in his way is his supposed poverty.

My problem with it is that it's not in a subject that will benefit society by its study, like medicine, science or engineering. It's a humanities subject. It's not at a prestigious university either, in case that is stopping him from getting a concurrent job. His family isn't really loaded but they aren't on the breadline - all the kids went to private school, live in an affluent part of the country etc. I'm not even sure it'll get him a better chance at employment to be honest. I'm struggling to see why he thinks that his friends, acquaintances and friends of friends (he's nagging us all to "share" the campaign) should fund him to potter about in higher education for a few years. AIBU?

It's not wrong of him to make you aware that he has set up a fund to which yo can donate, but he shouldn't pressurise you to donate or share the campaign. (Particularly odd to expect random strangers and acquaintances to support him).

YANBU. There is no need for him to do it full time. He can get a job, self-fund and study part-time as many mature students have done before him.

My onus was certainly on the word "expect". People can ask for donations, I can choose whether to give them, but the sense of entitlement and the nagging that this particular one involves was a completely new thing to me.

A friend off friend did a gofundme for a course in trapeze artistry. Surprisingly, she only got one donation.

I'm not an historian or even academic, but I can see there is tremendous value in History, even if it's not something with commercial value. IMO there would be more point in sponsoring him to this kind of PhD than one where commercial sponsorship is more readily available, but of course he shouldn't expect it or be putting pressure on.

I think YANBU to be irritated. I would be too, TBH. It's grabby. But I agree with others that you're being a bit unreasonable to judge one kind of research over another. Also, the prestige of the university won't have anything to do with whether or not he could do it part time or with a job alongside.

There is still funding for History PhDs, btw. I know good proposals don't always get funding, but it's not as if there's nothing out there.

I was specifically thinking of places like Oxford which tend to frown on people taking on jobs in addition to their degree work.

He is unlikely to be able to get enough sponsorship to cover all his costs for four years, so I think this idea is a non-starter. But no harm in him asking. I assume he isn't pressurising anyone into giving?

My problem with it is that it's not in a subject that will benefit society by its study, like medicine, science or engineering. It's a humanities subject.

For that alone YABU.

Many people self-fund (various means) the first year of the PhD and are successful in funding applications afterwards.

And for PhDs, you're better off choosing the institution with the most appropriate supervisor, not the most 'prestigious' one. I know quite a few PhD students who are struggling because they wanted a PhD from Oxbridge and have chosen the wrong supervisor.

And YABU for your philistine attitude towards the humanities.

the sense of entitlement and the nagging that this particular one involves was a completely new thing to me

I'm afraid that's what would put me off too

Can I ask if he's been clear on what he intends to do with this qualification - does he have a real career path in mind, or is it just a way to avoid going out and actually getting a job?

YANBU in that I'll willingly help my own dc financially through higher education but definitely not some man child who should be funding himself. If he can't, then he needs to work until he can, the world does not owe him a living.

YABVVU for your attitude towards the humanities.

YANBU, the subject of the PhD is irrelevant, nobody should hassle other people for free money. Even asking, without hassling, is a bit of a cheek in this case.

YABVVU for your attitude towards the humanities Agree.

The fact of his having been privately educated means I would not be giving a penny; he's been incredibly fortunate as it is.

Disclaimer: I have a masters in a humanities subject.

No career plan given just nagging.

Is a gold star a new biscuit?

I really don't have anything against the humanities per se

No career plan given just nagging

Yes - somehow I thought that was what you were going to say

FWIW I'm one of those who believes education should be free, but at this kind of level it would have to be targeted at students who'd actually benefit from it in a real way - and for me that includes some future career planning

YANBU at all.
It's irritating enough getting daily requests for sponsorship for charities. To fund a lifestyle choice is really taking the mick.

When dh did his PhD, it was a decision that we took in light of how we could keep a roof over our heads and eat too. It wasn't easy, but there's no way I would have expected anyone else to fund it. Surely the answer is to work all the hours he can for a year or more, save, and then do the PhD - presumably his new wife will have a job by then too and he won't need to embarrass his family and friends by begging from them like this.

You're not being unreasonable to conclude that this is a personal indulgence project. He's unlikely to get a career out of it. I don't know the topic so can't comment on whether he's likely to make a decent contribution to the historical repository of knowledge.

However, surely he's entitled to ask his friends for funding? If they've any sense they'll tell him to fuck right off. But I have no problem with him asking.

I think handing a cap round for your mates to sub you is cheeky. But you don't have to donate. And I'm a bit at some of the dour utilitarian views about the humanities on this thread.

Yes some of the views have come straight from Thomas Gradgrind.

There is funding for the better history PhDs and there are people self fundinh in medicine. I was based in the medical school and even there, people self funding tended to be doing vanity projects, had ideas of self importance and were mostly wasting time. The comparisons here between science and humanities are the wrong ones - I would be amazed to hear that the important humanities work or history being cited was self funded. Seriously, if it needs doing the university will fund it.

My dh did a pt masters whilst working ft and we funded it out of salary and savings. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking others for the money.