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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I'm being replaced at work - long

37 replies

t3rr3gl35 · 16/07/2015 21:58

I accepted the offer of a permanent role late last year. The role promised career progression and a certain amount of stability that I found lacking in contracting. I was initially considered for a more strategic and slightly senior position but I declined as I prefer to get my hands dirty. That role was filled some 3 months or so after I started by somebody a lot younger than me (I think this might be relevant).

Immediately - and I'm talking days after the other person started - I was subjected to intense scrutiny and I was told by this person that I would be reporting through them, although I do not directly report into them. My work has consistently been found by her to be of an extremely low standard, for the first time in any position I have held in 34 years.

I know that I have been bullied and that my output has been misrepresented at every turn and I feel helpless. 4 members of staff have remarked on the bullying but have said that they are not willing to be witnesses if I raise this with HR, as they are concerned of negative impact. Other members of the organisation have also made comment on the way that they have heard me being addressed, and also do not wish to become involved.

I have found myself to now, through machination and skullduggery, be reporting directly to this other person, and I am frequently instructed to change my work although I know that the changes are incorrect. I have tried many times to discuss the proposed changes but have been over-ruled, only to then take the flack when the errors are noticed - usually in tense meetings with internal stakeholders.

I think the age difference may be relevant as the other person finds issue with almost everything I offer, whether it is my output or general conversation and frequently makes reference to me being old enough to be her mother (true) and that she would find it awful to have a boss so much younger than her.

A conversation was instigated by her yesterday, where she spoke at great length about a mutual agency contact, and made reference to having a conversation with this contact about me in particular. Today I had an informal discussion with her where she stated that she wanted to put me on performance review. Tonight I logged on to a job site to see that the agency contact has listed a job description that matches mine exactly. I live in a rural part of the country, with limited employment opportunities in my field and cannot believe that this is coincidence. AIBU or simply paranoid to think that this person is making active attempts to replace me?

OP posts:
unmapped · 16/07/2015 23:05

i just wanted to offer my support - this sounds terrible. I was also the victim of discrimination at work. Like you, I thought I could handle it at first. I thought I was dealing with it pragmatically. But eventually it wore me down and I lost confidence in myself and my abilities.

Now that the situation has been resolved I can see clearly that it was not my fault, and am more and more angry that I was treated that way. If there is a way to emotionally distance yourself from the situation then try to do it. Might be worth calling up acas and asking their advice I how to protect yourself?

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 16/07/2015 23:05

After that last post you need to go for the jugular with her

And your witnesses might not want to be involved but you need to name them and say why they've said and that they are too afraid to support you. Then if they are asked directly they are put in the position of having to lie which they are unlikely to do

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 16/07/2015 23:06

And I'm really sorry you are having to deal with this

CalmYourselfTubbs · 16/07/2015 23:09

its time to find a good solicitor.

ShipShapeAhoy · 16/07/2015 23:15

Please speak to Hr about her. Don't suffer on silence. Also do email like others have said. Just email go say ' I confirm I've made x changes as you requested.'

ShipShapeAhoy · 16/07/2015 23:16

Plus if you can join a union maybe now is the time?

DadfromUncle · 16/07/2015 23:19

As I said I am not a lawyer OP but I have seen successful tribunal cases predicated on much less than what you've just described - I truly feel you have been treated awfully - aside from this bosszilla. It's up to you, but I'd be down the lawyers ASAP (and I don't even like lawyers). Hope you can have a decent sleep.

ShipShapeAhoy · 16/07/2015 23:25

God I've just read your most recent post. I really don't want you to keep suffering. Perhaps start a thread in the legal section and get some proper advice. Flowers

GemmeFatale · 16/07/2015 23:26

Can I suggest a dictiphone for recording discussions regarding changes. Obviously with her permission, as you've been unfortunately confused previously and would hate the clients to get further work they're unhappy with.

fadingfast · 17/07/2015 09:06

I am an employment lawyer and whilst you wouldn't ordinarily have protected from unfair dismissal due to your length of service, previous posters are correct. You are already protected from discrimination and it sounds to me that you may well have a valid claim on grounds of age and (potentially) disability. You are doing the right thing in keeping a record. Do you have witnesses to what has been said?

I agree that you should take advice. Your best option might be to submit a formal grievance, but the likely outcome is that they will negotiate an exit package with you. It is therefore important that your grievance is properly worded and that you have evidence to back up your complaints.

Best of luck.

NewFlipFlops · 17/07/2015 09:31

I'm glad the lawyers have joined the thread. Even though you have only been in the job 10 months you have human rights! An hour's legal advice will boost your confidence, remove the immediate emotion from the situation and help you get your ducks in a row. Also HR departments are attuned to certain phrases which indicate you have access to independent advice.

The way you are being treated is disgraceful.

NewFlipFlops · 17/07/2015 09:33

I have to say I if it were me I'd get the legal advice before seeing HR.

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