To think I'm being replaced at work - long

[t3rr3gl35]

I accepted the offer of a permanent role late last year. The role promised career progression and a certain amount of stability that I found lacking in contracting. I was initially considered for a more strategic and slightly senior position but I declined as I prefer to get my hands dirty. That role was filled some 3 months or so after I started by somebody a lot younger than me (I think this might be relevant).

Immediately - and I'm talking days after the other person started - I was subjected to intense scrutiny and I was told by this person that I would be reporting through them, although I do not directly report into them. My work has consistently been found by her to be of an extremely low standard, for the first time in any position I have held in 34 years.

I know that I have been bullied and that my output has been misrepresented at every turn and I feel helpless. 4 members of staff have remarked on the bullying but have said that they are not willing to be witnesses if I raise this with HR, as they are concerned of negative impact. Other members of the organisation have also made comment on the way that they have heard me being addressed, and also do not wish to become involved.

I have found myself to now, through machination and skullduggery, be reporting directly to this other person, and I am frequently instructed to change my work although I know that the changes are incorrect. I have tried many times to discuss the proposed changes but have been over-ruled, only to then take the flack when the errors are noticed - usually in tense meetings with internal stakeholders.

I think the age difference may be relevant as the other person finds issue with almost everything I offer, whether it is my output or general conversation and frequently makes reference to me being old enough to be her mother (true) and that she would find it awful to have a boss so much younger than her.

A conversation was instigated by her yesterday, where she spoke at great length about a mutual agency contact, and made reference to having a conversation with this contact about me in particular. Today I had an informal discussion with her where she stated that she wanted to put me on performance review. Tonight I logged on to a job site to see that the agency contact has listed a job description that matches mine exactly. I live in a rural part of the country, with limited employment opportunities in my field and cannot believe that this is coincidence. AIBU or simply paranoid to think that this person is making active attempts to replace me?

[NewFlipFlops]

I have to say I if it were me I'd get the legal advice before seeing HR.

[NewFlipFlops]

I'm glad the lawyers have joined the thread. Even though you have only been in the job 10 months you have human rights! An hour's legal advice will boost your confidence, remove the immediate emotion from the situation and help you get your ducks in a row. Also HR departments are attuned to certain phrases which indicate you have access to independent advice.

The way you are being treated is disgraceful.

[fadingfast]

I am an employment lawyer and whilst you wouldn't ordinarily have protected from unfair dismissal due to your length of service, previous posters are correct. You are already protected from discrimination and it sounds to me that you may well have a valid claim on grounds of age and (potentially) disability. You are doing the right thing in keeping a record. Do you have witnesses to what has been said?

I agree that you should take advice. Your best option might be to submit a formal grievance, but the likely outcome is that they will negotiate an exit package with you. It is therefore important that your grievance is properly worded and that you have evidence to back up your complaints.

Best of luck.

[GemmeFatale]

Can I suggest a dictiphone for recording discussions regarding changes. Obviously with her permission, as you've been unfortunately confused previously and would hate the clients to get further work they're unhappy with.

[ShipShapeAhoy]

God I've just read your most recent post. I really don't want you to keep suffering. Perhaps start a thread in the legal section and get some proper advice.

[DadfromUncle]

As I said I am not a lawyer OP but I have seen successful tribunal cases predicated on much less than what you've just described - I truly feel you have been treated awfully - aside from this bosszilla. It's up to you, but I'd be down the lawyers ASAP (and I don't even like lawyers). Hope you can have a decent sleep.

[ShipShapeAhoy]

Plus if you can join a union maybe now is the time?

[ShipShapeAhoy]

Please speak to Hr about her. Don't suffer on silence. Also do email like others have said. Just email go say ' I confirm I've made x changes as you requested.'

[CalmYourselfTubbs]

its time to find a good solicitor.

[BuildYourOwnSnowman]

And I'm really sorry you are having to deal with this

[BuildYourOwnSnowman]

After that last post you need to go for the jugular with her

And your witnesses might not want to be involved but you need to name them and say why they've said and that they are too afraid to support you. Then if they are asked directly they are put in the position of having to lie which they are unlikely to do

[unmapped]

i just wanted to offer my support - this sounds terrible. I was also the victim of discrimination at work. Like you, I thought I could handle it at first. I thought I was dealing with it pragmatically. But eventually it wore me down and I lost confidence in myself and my abilities.

Now that the situation has been resolved I can see clearly that it was not my fault, and am more and more angry that I was treated that way. If there is a way to emotionally distance yourself from the situation then try to do it. Might be worth calling up acas and asking their advice I how to protect yourself?

[CloserToFiftyThanTwenty]

I know it's easy to say from here, but I wouldn't want to work in an organisation where no one was willing to say that they had witnessed this behaviour because of fear of reprisals themselves.

[t3rr3gl35]

Thanks everybody for your replies. I'm going to bed now, and will mull it over the weekend.

I hadn't thought discrimination as part of the issue - and actually there is more as another relevant part of the bullying is due to me having "hidden disabilities" as a result of a bowel resection which means that I find it necessary to strictly control when and what I eat. The nature of the issues that I have has been recorded with HR as I have been subjected to very insistent and public pressure on occasion to eat unsuitable foods at unsuitable times and be made to justify my reasons for not eating. That has been hideously embarrassing. Being forced to state in front of 6 junior members of staff that eating generates a trigger response, and that I have to have a loo which has enough space for me to lie on my side to evacuate is an experience that I will never be able to come to terms with.

[wafflyversatile]

Another in the chorus. Go down fighting at least. Definitely email to confirm everything and see about putting in a complaint. Maybe call ACAS seeing as you don't belong to a union.

It's disheartening that so many people are witness to her behaviour but won't say anything. I wonder if it's worth saying that you think some incidents were witnessed and they could ask people. If asked by HR they might not find it easy to lie and say 'no, didn't see anything'. If enough people are witness then it's harder for them to take her side. Although this runs the risk of them being annoyed with you or turning against you I suppose.

[EustaciaBenson]

You have limited options here but also little to lose if they are advertising your job. Email her about every change, complain about they way she's treating you to HR. Ask HR to assign you a work mentor, someone other than her to help your work performance, hopefully they will spot the problems. When she stands over you shouting at your desk turn and face her, look at her directly and put your point across firmly. Stand your ground, or sit it rather, shes getting off on undermining someone she probably feels intimidated by professionally so try not to let her get her way by shouting you down. If she requests changes that are wrong, email her after you've done them explaining how they are wrong, back your statements up with evidence

[TendonQueen]

If it's gone this far, I think you may as well take more assertive steps. Next time she shouts at you standing by your desk, try standing up yourself and saying firmly, but without shouting 'If you're going to shout at me, we need to go straight to HR to discuss this right now, because I've had enough. Or would you like to leave me to get on with it while I edit this?' Then if she continues, you start walking to HR. She is behaving awfully and from the sound of it has got more cocky over time as no one will challenge her. Go and see the director and have the talk as Snowman suggests.

[TiredButFine]

Honestly- make moves to leave. She sounds like a shitnado and everything is getting covered by her shit.
Speak to the FD- what have you got to lose?

[DadfromUncle]

t3rr3gl35 I don't mean to sound unsympathetic - I was a contractor for many years - ironically I found it helped me not to take crap from people. Because I knew I had no security and could be fired at will, I was much more relaxed about not putting up with crap.

Ironically, my first job back in permiedom was being micro-managed by a much younger person with no clue what she was doing - I was lucky to be offered another job within a year which I took.

Good luck.

[DancingDinosaur]

Surely that same legislation doesn't offer her much protection either. You need to collect evidence and take it higher. Lets face it, where you are right now, you have nothing to lose.

[DadfromUncle]

t3rr3gl35 I am not a lawyer but as I understand it there is no time limit where discrimination is alleged - a lawyer can tell you more.

Given that things are at this stage, you have nothing to lose by standing up for yourself - even if the FD turns out to be as unsympathetic as you imagine, things won't be any worse.

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

Is it legal to record there?

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

I agree that you have nothing to lose.

Is it possible that there is another role in the company that you could move into?

[t3rr3gl35]

DadfromUncle & BuildYourOwnSnowman - Thanks for the input, guys. Unfortunately, it does seem that I have nothing (everything) to lose...

[DadfromUncle]

You shouldn't have to put up with shouting and gesticulating - it's not "Kitchen Nightmares" for flips sake. That £30k they spent was a waste by the sounds of it.
I think you should tell the FD calmly that this sort of stuff isn't appropriate in a normal workplace.