To contact ex about DC's?

[Sinkingships]

My DC's are currently living with their grandparents (my parents).

ExH lives in a different part of the country and doesn't make much effort to see or speak to them. He has told our DC's he will see them over the summer holidays but over a month has gone past since DM and DDad have had any communication with him.

While I am loathe to contact him to ask him to contact his own children, I'm wondering if I should?

On the one hand I feel it's important for it to be his responsibility to contact and see them. On the other hand he is so useless as a father I feel like if I don't push him he might let the relationship he has with his children die and I don't want that to happen, for their sake, not his.

Wibu to chase him to get in touch with them? Or should I slowly let him fade himself out of their lives? I feel like if I don't push him they might be angry at me in the future for not trying harder to make him get in touch with them :(

I don't know about intelligence, but certainly compassion and the benefit of the doubt.
For both parents, in fact.

April and wannabe, I'm not going to give the exact circumstances but I would just like to point out that I did not dump the DC's at the gp's then move hundreds of miles away. They moved to where gp's live and I stayed where I live. I cannot just move in with them for several reasons. It isn't possible for me to move closer at this time, trust me if I could, I would!

ExH did make a conscious choice to move hundreds of miles away to a completely differnt area of the country where neither I or DC's live. This was, he has directly told me, an effort to get as far from me as possible after we split.

April, I may have ptsd as a result of several traumatic experiences but this has not been confirmed yet although I do show many of the signs (see my other thread). I need to see a professional about this. I did not abandon my DC's but for various reasons I cannot adequately care for them at this time but this doesn't mean I can't maintain a good relationship with them. I am doing everything I can to make sure they are happy.

Testing, I think that may be a good solution. DC's, gp's and I are all going on holiday soon so there is limited time for him to see them and it would be a shame with them having so much free time over the summer to not get to see him, which I know they want to do.

The judgement on here is genuinely shocking. When I was 8 my single parent mother asked my grandparents to care for my siblings and I and it was the hardest decision of her life. She was an alcoholic, checked herself into rehab and after 3 years was a better parent than she ever could have been. Being around her whilst she was recovering was hard for all of us so we didn't see her often but we wrote letters and spoke on the phone frequently. She didn't cease to be our mum, she made a truly selfless and difficult decision to put our needs first and get the help she needed. I am not for a second suggesting that this is the circumstance here but I am asking that you don't jump to all these negative assumptions. Someone came on here asking for help and you are judging her based on little knowledge. Yes, I am going to get flamed but what's happening isn't fair.

Bestguess, it is the judgy pants ones on here who should get the flaming, not you.

OP came asking for help, not a lot of nosy parkers trying to force her to divulge information she clearly isn't ready to give publicly.

OP, you have clearly been through some distressing times. You are doing the best you can for your children. With regard to your ex, I am no expert, but I guess all you can do is give it a try and then leave the rest up to him. Beyond that, leave it.

I would say speak to your parents about it and decide between you what you think is in kids best interests be it ignore, them contact him or you contact him.

You sound like you have been through a really hard time I'm sorry if I came off judgy I really didn't mean to. Hope things get better in the future.