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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Me or dh.?

75 replies

Woodentrees · 15/07/2015 20:14

Dd has an essay to type, needs headers, footers etc. iPad is uncomfortable to type an essay on and isn't compatible with school computers. She asked dh if she could move one of the two computers he doesn't use into her study space and use that. Apparently not, because they're his. She has to use mine. Fine by me, I have an iPad, but as she quite reasonably pointed out, there are more distractions downstairs. He is now upstairs in a mood because we don't understand him. I don't, he doesn't use them! Please tell me it isn't me.

OP posts:

molyholy · 15/07/2015 22:32

I don't understand. He is being a big old meanie. Dd will always remember this - her dad being a tight arse. Is he tight in other ways? Lifts, money etc?

mikado1 · 15/07/2015 22:34

Why can't he sit at/use them op? Is this to do with someone else using/doing something he loved but can no longer do and he hasn't come to terms with it yet? ?

Amy106 · 15/07/2015 22:49

It's not you. It's him. Definitely him.

RhiWrites · 15/07/2015 23:38

She'll do better with a new laptop than a computer over a decade old.

But that doesn't change the fact your H is incredibly selfish, unkind and unfair. He won't let his daughter use one of 2 unused computers because it would feel as though it was being 'appropriated'? WTF is wrong with him?!

I have free cycled unused computers. This man won't let his daughter move one into her bedroom to use for schoolwork and would rather it gathered dust. I'm genuinely shocked.

LovelyFriend · 16/07/2015 01:40

Well then I'd say he is simply a selfish and unsupportive father.

maras2 · 16/07/2015 02:20

Sounds as if he has health issues.Even so what a miserable sod and a poor excuse for a father

HereIAm20 · 16/07/2015 07:24

Does it matter if they are "appropriated" if he doesn't even use them? Is he stepdad or dad? I don't understand why he wouldn't want his child to do their schoolwork

morelikeguidelines · 16/07/2015 07:29

Another one suspicious of what is on the computers.

Bakeoffcake · 16/07/2015 07:37

What a knob. He's behaving like a selfish teenager.

ollieplimsoles · 16/07/2015 07:39

Oh what a pathetic man child 'no one understands him' is he 15 years old?

MidnightHag · 16/07/2015 07:53

If he's not using them, why don't you just set one of them up for her?

WayneRooneysHair · 16/07/2015 07:59

To all the posters saying that they'd be suspicious about what's on the computers, if you RTFT you'll see that the OP has access to them and that she updates them etc.

Stormtreader · 16/07/2015 10:22

So why cant his daughter have one? PCs become basically worthless in quite a short space of time due to program requirements always increasing, this is like him leaving two sandwiches to rot while his daughter goes hungry.

WaggleBee · 16/07/2015 11:51

He is bu without a doubt but I also thought the same as Mikado. Maybe it's not about the computers, maybe it's about his illness.

NataliaBaker · 16/07/2015 12:06

It's a bit strange that he doesn't want them being used yet he can't. Almost like he wants to keep them just for the sake of keeping them. Which then makes you wonder, what's hidden on them that would make selling or giving them away risky business.

notquitehuman · 16/07/2015 12:12

Your DH is being a cock. Do you have a second hand computer store nearby? We have a place in town that sells laptops from about £100 that would be ok for homework purposes. Make sure he pays for it though.

Theycallmemellowjello · 16/07/2015 12:43

That is terrible. Can you get one of the teachers to have a word with him about the importance of having a quiet and private workspace? It makes a massive difference to results.

wafflyversatile · 16/07/2015 14:19

The OP has said she knows what is on them. Not everything has to be about men being cheating, porn obsessed arseholes, however much you're hoping it is.

Another person here wondering that, if he can't use them because of health reasons, this might be an admission that he's never going to be well enough to use them again and that's why he's so seemingly irrationally upset.

MyNameIsInigoMontoya · 16/07/2015 14:29

I was thinking similar to waffly...

CactusAnnie · 16/07/2015 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhiWrites · 16/07/2015 17:21

OP where do you live? Maybe I can sort you out an old computer.

Original poster

Woodentrees · 16/07/2015 19:12

Thank you Rhi, I have sorted it now, and there is a computer in the study area.
It isn't his illness as such, he did inform me at six o'clock this morning that he just needed time to process the request.

OP posts:

wafflyversatile · 16/07/2015 22:36

There you go then. At least he's stopped 'holding the family to ransom', using his illness as 'emotional blackmail' and other overdramatics.

Stormtreader · 17/07/2015 09:15

So much time to process that you had time to buy her a laptop?

sooperdooper · 17/07/2015 09:22

Why was it even his decision that the request needs processing?

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