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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is too much ?

49 replies

Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 17:43

School have always let children give out sweets for birthdays usually little bags of haribo or something little.

In the last few months it has changed. Pieces of cake and a party bag full of chewy sweets and chocolate. Big bags of sweets and huge lollies!
I'm seriously considering asking the school to limit what children can give out as every time my dd is getting upset that she can't eat what she's given (she has diabetes)

AIBU to contact the school about this?

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 15/07/2015 17:45

That amount of sweets sounds excessive!

When dd was at school, there was a lad in her class who had diabetes. I used to send in sugar free chupa lollies so he could have the same as everyone else.

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2015 17:46

It depends on how old your child is really.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 17:48

She is 5 it's reception class

It seems to have almost become a competition and dd was very upset today

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answersonapostcardplease · 15/07/2015 17:48

Sounds excessive. Can you give the teacher sugar free stuff to give dd when this happens?

answersonapostcardplease · 15/07/2015 17:49

And leave at school I mean.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 15/07/2015 17:50

Oh poor DD

It's difficult. I think more than one small item is daft, you wouldn't BU to request this, maybe your DD wouldn't be upset if it wasn't such a big/numerous treats she was missing out on?

Alternatively, a DC in my DS's class had mutilple allergies, his mother brought in a bag of treats he could have, and the teacher either gave him one of these or allowed birthday DC to give him one. It was a special school though, I found they were more accommodating, but maybe worth an ask?

I remember trying to find guaranteed nut free Choc for one DC once, I thunk it came from M & S in the end!

It's bad to leave one child out, there must be a way of including her more. No doubt someone will come along with better ideas...

AnyoneForTennis · 15/07/2015 17:51

Well cake used to be the norm.... Then it changed to haribo

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2015 17:51

It does sound excessive.

Most schools around here banned this years ago. Now they're allowed to give out one small item, like a pen/pencil/notepad or something.

I think answers has a good idea though about leaving some sugar free stuff with the teacher.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 17:51

Dd wants the same as everybody else and gets very very upset.

If it's something small it's manageable we can give insulin for it but the amount of sweets coming out is just too much sugar. She desperately wants to be the same so an alternative just won't be accepted by her she gets very very unhappy

OP posts:
ChuffinAda · 15/07/2015 17:52

Its getting out of hand at our school too. The last one was a full party bag complete with cake sweets and party bag fillers.

We didn't even acknowledge other kids birthdays at my school!

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 17:53

She has wheat free stuff for example if they give out a look at she has a small wheat free version and it's so similar she's happy with that.

When it's ale they tell me and I make a little wheat free cupcake or similar to take up so she can be the same but lately it's been a lot more and today was a giant rainbow lolly and dad came out clutching it and has cried because she can't have it. It was massive !

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 17:53

Cake not ale ????!!!! Now that would be bad !

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 17:54

Look=Kitkat sorry autocorrect on phone is on fire today

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averythinline · 15/07/2015 17:57

our school doesnt allow sweets to be given out as is not healthy eating guidelines....sounds a bit worthy but actually stopped this in its tracks as was getting out of hand - school should easily be able to

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 17:58

I do feel that some sort of limit at least needs to be put in place as it is such a huge amount each time now

OP posts:
FenellaFellorick · 15/07/2015 17:59

How do you think the staff and parents would feel about a parent asking an entire school to change for their child? Do you think it would be well thought of or not? What's the school like? Would the other parents think such a request reasonable?
I'm just wondering if you could reasonably be able to guess based on your knowledge of your school and the parents whether there would be any point?

you could give the school a stock of things you'd be happy for your child to have. I did that in primary for mine who had specific dietary requirements.

It's a hard lesson for them but they've a lifetime of watching others have things that they can't and sadly they have to learn to be ok with that.
You could certainly raise it. Maybe other parents aren't happy. Perhaps the school would want a limit on healthy eating grounds. But there are what? 30 kids in a class? So 30 treats a year? Perhaps they wouldnt find it excessive?

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 18:02

I would not ask for an outright ban just a limit on the amount.

I just can't bear it every time this happens seeing dd so upset. She was wailing "but the teacher said we could eat these at home why won't you let me the teacher said" and she's so upset.

A small bag of haribo or a little chocolate eg small kinder bar or Freddo we can deal with but these bags of cakes and sweets and huge lollies is just too much

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 18:03

The lolly given out today contains 74g of sugar. It is huge. Too big for dd to have

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TheSilveryPussycat · 15/07/2015 18:04

This really happens these days? I despair

FenellaFellorick · 15/07/2015 18:06

How much does she understand about her condition and why she can't have these things and what would happen if she did?

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 18:08

She understands a lot about it and is usually very good. Confronted by a big slice of ale and bag of sweets or a giant rainbow lolly at the end of the school day though proves a little too overwhelming

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Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/07/2015 18:08

CAKE ! Not ale again

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PurpleHairAndPearls · 15/07/2015 18:09

74g?!

That's bonkers

QuiteLikely5 · 15/07/2015 18:11

Yabu. There must be 30 children max in the class. So 30 times each year sweeties are given out.

With all due respect I really don't think it's right that the other mums have to alter their approach to birthday treats due to your dd health condition. Best to supply the teacher with your own bag of goodies that she can give out to your dd instead.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 15/07/2015 18:11

Grin at ale

She's only 5, so there's going to be a limit to how understanding she can be, I suppose too.

If the school put a "limit" or say one small item, they should say it's on grounds of healthy eating etc, not because of DD. no doubt there will be parents that disregard it anyway though.