To ask MIL not to by 12yr old Elle Magazine?

[chocoLit]

Seriously? Am I? Not sure if I'm just being over tired & previous but DD literally just turned 12. MIL doesn't see them for months at a time so very little understanding of our parenting choices/style. Has bought her Elle Magazine whilst out today and it's not something I would normally let her read. I need a more rational opinion than mine as It has been a loooooong few weeks.

I buy my DD (12 and 14) Glamour . Neither of them shows much interest in boys, shopping and make up but all their school mates are obsessed so I thought it might help them improve their social skills. Also seemed better to give bite sized relationships info rather than just sterile sex education in a text book. Glamour actually has quite a good careers section and often does interviews with successful women. I read Jackie, my Mum's Woman's Weekly and my Grannie's People's Friend at their age but was thoroughly corrupted by the school library fiction section. Elle would not be my first choice of glossy mag but for a Grannie wanting to connect with a teenage granddaughter it seems as good a choice as any.

Blimey when I was 12 I was reading 'my guy' and 'oh boy' 'blue jeans' lovely 80s stuff. Elle magazine is a picnic compared to them.

Unclench.

I think possibly you're right. Her only understanding of our eldest DD is her other similar in age grandaughter. She however is 16yrs old & the youngest where as ours has literally just turned 12 & doesn't have older siblings at uni to learn from.

But teenage girls are often obsessed with looks, clothes and boys! That's a normal developmental stage. Boys ditto.

You can't change that but you can nurture, guide and help them through it by discussing and debating the feelings and issues roused and listening to them. Teenage years can be hard but can be a lot of fun too.

Elle is usually just fawning celeb interviews, and lots of fashion and makeup features. They don't tend to go in for anything too shocking sex wise.

Elle would be at worst boring for a 12 year old, unless she wants a breakdown of the best Scandi-minimalist kitchen interiors, menswear-inspired job interview outfits to nail that promotion, a review of Soho House's latest spa and an article on freezing your eggs. They grow up so fast these days!

Choco don't worry too much about the fat legs thing. My dds have skinny legs and they said the same. Sometimes it's just what's said amongst their friends and they all have a criticism of their own bodies to share.

At 12 it's often

'oh my god I hate my hair yours is soooo nice'
while mate replied '
oh my god your hair is ace look at my fat legs'

'Oh joy god your legs are soooo good look at my.... And so it goes on and on.

Grans just forgotten the age and stage. To be honest my youngest is now 15 and I wouldn't have a clue what to but the average 9 year old. You forget. It's life.

It is pretty boring these days! I used to love Elle but since it became quite snoozesome I haven't bought it in an age

golden sounds amazing

Is More magazine still about?

I agree golden. Elle is far too old and grown up for me and I am the parent of teenagers . I was canvassing views on the MN washing up bowl thread with my lot this morning. I am a wee bit more circumspect with the LTB threads though.

If she's a smart girl and you have a good I don't think you need to worry OP. But I can see why you're concerned.

I clearly remember hating Jackie magazine at around your DD's age. I remember an interview with David Cassidy where he apparently said he didn't like girls who wore make up.

At 12 I thought that was a bit odd. Now I know about David Cassidy's indulgences - perfectly normal for a very good-looking, incredibly famous young man - it seems like nasty moralising and mind control.

The Cathy and Claire problem page used to have at least one letter a week from a girl who wanted her boyfriend to go 'all the way' but that he didn't want to.

Yeah, like that was likely rather than the other way round. The answer always used to be along the lines of 'shame on you, slut. You should be grateful to have such a nice boyfriend.'

Weird. I later met someone who'd worked on Jackie and she confirmed that it was all completely made up and there was a definite agenda from the publishers to keep girls pure.

I loved it when My Guy came out and they had realistic problem pages that talked about body image and spots and the pressure on you when you were a 14-year-old virgin and all your friends claimed to have done it.

One teen magazine even had Position Of The Week. It caused outrage in frothing about girls' magazines in the early 90s. I too old to read it but I don't think it was too bad to have a frank discussion about sex and whether you want to do it or not.

I used to like Minx magazine. Clearly I was alone because it folded.

limited my vintage too oh boy ahh the 80s

What are David Cassidy's indulgences?

He shagged around a lot and may have done some drugs and alcohol ImperialBlether.

Nothing too remarkable for someone who looked as dreamy (Jackie-speak) and was as famous and adored as him.

But even my very sheltered 12-year-old self wondered whether he really did like the fresh-faced virginal look that Jackie was pushing.

It's never wrong to have a bit of

But surely to Christ you didn't believe anything written in there? Remember Donny Osmond's favourite colour? Did you think he really had one? It was all made up.

He would never ever have had a conversation with any journalist who wrote for Jackie. It may well have been that they said he didn't like make up so that girls didn't feel pressurised into wearing it.

Ruledbycatsandkids6 I remember My Guy from the late 70s. There was also Blue Jeans but I didn't read it or Oh Boy.

I'd graduated to Elle at that point

I think My Guy was brilliant. And I love spotting people like Tony Hadley in the photo problem pages. George Michael and Hugh Grant pop up too.

Imperial

made up

I devoured Jackie, did all the quizzes, took all the advice, sellotaped pin ups onto my bedroom wall to practice snogging with at night and even made a handbag from orange peel as described in their craft section (it stunk).

Now you tell me it is not journalistically sound???

You will be telling me all my posters of Gary Glitter that adorned my bedroom walls were inappropriate next!

We're not precious about our three daughters but are trying to raise them with more than make up/clothes & boys in mind.

Yes, you're obviously a far better parent than anyone else.

Ha, Tooold. I loved Cathy & Claire. One of my friends in school thought she was pregnant and wrote to them. They didn't reply until after the baby would've been born! It was a photocopied letter saying she should tell her mother and if she couldn't, tell her doctor. Bit late for that! Luckily she wasn't pregnant, turned out she didn't know what you had to do to get pregnant.

But surely to Christ you didn't believe anything written in there?

No, I didn't, but I was a particularly perspicacious 12-year-old .

Almost 30 years on I look at some of my contemporaries every day and marvel at their news judgement.

And no, but I did take disaparaging talk about girls who wore make up and wanted to explore sex as an insidious thing.

At that age I wore a smidge of make up but didn't have sex until I was 19. In my twenties I wore heavy make up and very provocative clothes on nights out. That's because it was fashionable and had no bearing on my behaviour. If anyone mistook that I would point it out. Mostly the young men I mixed with understood it.

I remember getting angry at 14 at a NME interview with Jean Jacques Burnel of The Stranglers which was headlined: 'Would your let him sleep with your sister?'

What was the person who wrote that headline thinking of? I guess he was probably early 20s himself but it's scarily paternalistic.

At 14 I needed protecting because I was a child. But it wasn't the job of some sleazy sub at the NME.

My parents did the job perfectly adequately and instilled me with values that that wanker from the NME could only dream of.

I actually bought a Jackie annual at a car boot a year or so ago. It is hysterically funny to read now, so tame, when at the time I swallowed every word printed hook line and sinker.

I was not a particularly perspicacious 12-year-old

I learned the word 'perspicacious' years after I was 12 Toooldtobearsed.

It's one of my favourites though. That and egregious.