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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really upset by this?

89 replies

maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 09:27

I am pregnant with my first (very early days). I just told SIL and her immediate reaction was 'well, you'll have to get rid of those cats then won't you'.

DH and I have two cats (both a year old), who we love very much. They are indoor cats, very friendly, very gentle.

SIL says that cats could suffocate/scratch our baby/baby might be allergic etc etc and I am irresponsible to consider having pets in the house with a baby.

I grew up with three dogs, four cats and an assortment of various reptiles so admittedly I am animal-biased, but was I BU to be upset that this was her reaction to our pregnancy news?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 14/07/2015 09:31

SIL is talking bollocks. We had two cats when we had our first baby. They didn't go in the baby's room, neither of our kids were allergic and never been scratched by a cat.
We lost our old girl yesterday. The kids were really upset. They have got so much out of being brought up with pets.

PurpleSwift · 14/07/2015 09:35

Yanbu. Could she be jealous and tying to dampen your news in some way?
My in laws were a bit like this. In the end they settled for buying us a net that went over the Moses basket. We never used it. Cats went no where near LO as a new born.

SaucyJack · 14/07/2015 09:37

Some people just like to piss on your chips for the sake of it.

Ignore her, and congratulations.

Original poster
maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 09:37

purple her and BIL had their first a year ago so I can't see why she would be jealous.

She is very animal hating though, when PIL come to visit she makes them keep their dog outside in the car even though dog is old and sick.

OP posts:
smoggy · 14/07/2015 09:39

Got told the same as well, absolute rubbish. The poor cats were horrified by ds, gave him a sniff and left him alone. 8 years later ds snuggles with his cat and would not be without her. People also told me while pregnant that the cats would sleep on ds, spent pregnancy worrying for nothing. Why would a cat sleep on something that screams!

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 14/07/2015 09:40

Congratulations OP Flowers

I had this when I was pregnant (MIL). I think if it comes up again just clearly state "No we won't".

Our 3 cats at the time showed absolutely no interest in the baby, in fact they actively avoided her. The only issue we had was one of them took a liking to the cat net that we put over the cot (before DD arrived) and quite liked using it as a hammock Grin. We kept her room off limits to them once she was born.

Bizarrely MIL was actually a cat lover (she had even been told to get rid of her cats by her MIL when she was pregnant!) as time went on it became clear that what she actually wanted was for the cats to be rehomed to her house (didn't happen) but I digress.

YANBU (but do make your DH do the litter trays now you're pregnant)

Original poster
maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 09:43

Raptor DH was doing the litter trays even before I was up the duff, so no worries there :)

I have no idea how my two will react to a baby but I've got no intention of getting rid of them at all. In general they are very curious and love everyone. Currently they have the run of the house - they will not take kindly to being shut out of the bedroom once the baby gets here - not sure I should even bother trying to do that really.

OP posts:
RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 14/07/2015 09:46

To be fair, they see the closed door as a challenge Wink even our current cats take great delight in sneaking in there given half a chance Grin

Penfold007 · 14/07/2015 09:49

I had three very mature cats when I had first DC, there were no problems. Second dc and we had two cats again no problems. We've never not been owned by a cat or two. Your SIL is talking rubbish.

OnlyLovers · 14/07/2015 09:52

She's a tit.

Oh, and congrats! Thanks Cake

Morloth · 14/07/2015 09:54

Babies and cats are fine.

My cats had zero interest in my baby. They just had to adjust to sitting next to me when he was in their spot.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 14/07/2015 09:55

Congratulations!
She's just using it as a platform to push her anti-pet stance. Ignore her. We got a cat net for the crib and that was it.

Original poster
maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 09:56

thank you everyone, if she mentions it again I shall just shut her up with a 'no, of course we are not going to get rid of her cats'

Once we move out of London I fully intend to get a dog as well, so that will be the next big issue I expect.

OP posts:
Original poster
maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 09:57

*the cats

OP posts:
OrionsAccessory · 14/07/2015 09:57

I had a one year old cat when dd1 was born. My cat was neither friendly nor gentle, she was also not at all interested in the baby. Cat is now 8 and likes dd1 more than anyone else that lives in the house!

Your Sil is talking rubbish.

BeautifulBatman · 14/07/2015 09:57

She's talking shite. YABU to be upset - not worth it. YWNBU to think she's a total twat though. Give her this from me Biscuit

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 14/07/2015 09:58

You SIL needs to get a grip. I'd have laughed and said 'sooner get rid of you sil, than lovely cats Grin'. I have a dog, family members have pets, we are all responsible and know how to supervise a situation. I've always had pets in my life, very likely to be the same for my child. You'll be just fine, cats will get used to their new family member pretty quickly I'm sure! Really don't get people who think pets are just objects, that you can easily 'dispose' of, if lifestyles change. Says a lot about that person Angry.

SwearyInn · 14/07/2015 09:58

I think your SIL is probably jealous that her child is no longer going to be centre of attention - so she's immediately casting doubt on your "parenting decisions" to make her seem like the better, more responsible mum. Be warned - she's likely going to carry on with this charade.

But smile and wave each time she does it - she's being seriously pathetic.

Just make sure cats don't use baby as a cushion and you'll be fine.

EducateTogetheralumnus · 14/07/2015 09:59

Nonsense! She's talking nonsense. And congratulations Thanks

Although I second the PP who said make your DH clear out the litter tray.

PaintedTshirt · 14/07/2015 09:59

MIL on being told our baby news:

"Shock What are you going to do about the cat?!"

Err nothing Confused It's a cat, not a lion FFS.

People are weird, ignore.

BeautifulBatman · 14/07/2015 10:01

To add. I currently have 5 cats (all 2 or younger we think, strays we adopted). DH and I often wonder how each cat will react to our impending dc. I can't wait to see the reaction/dynamic between each cat and the baby

Battleshiphips · 14/07/2015 10:01

I'm in a bit of a pet dilemma myself. We have a dog who hates people and children (apart from our almost 8yr old ds) and I have just found out I am pregnant again! We got the dog because we had decided not to have any more children, this pregnancy was unplanned. We now have to consider rehoming. Going to take him to a behaviourist first though to see if it's something that can be sorted out. I've been crying for 2 solid days as I love him so much. If it was a cat I wouldn't worry though. I think the thing most people worry about is cat cuddling into prams on top of baby because it's warm. I would be upset at that reaction too. I know getting rid of the dog is the first thing MIL will mention too when we tell her and it's been making things worse!

Micah · 14/07/2015 10:02

Research shows that having pets in the house reduces the chance of allergies and auto immune diseases.

Two or more is most effective. Tell her you're keeping them for your baby's health :)

BeautifulBatman · 14/07/2015 10:03

Painted Grin Pmsl at "What are you going to do about the cat?!"

Err nothingIt's a cat, not a lion FFS"

catnip89 · 14/07/2015 10:08

I had 3 children and always had pet cats, we had no problems. To be honest I'd rather have a cat around a baby than a dog. I don't think cats look on babies as pushing them down the pecking order the way dogs do. (As cats know they're ahead of the field anyway!)