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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really upset by this?

89 replies

maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 09:27

I am pregnant with my first (very early days). I just told SIL and her immediate reaction was 'well, you'll have to get rid of those cats then won't you'.

DH and I have two cats (both a year old), who we love very much. They are indoor cats, very friendly, very gentle.

SIL says that cats could suffocate/scratch our baby/baby might be allergic etc etc and I am irresponsible to consider having pets in the house with a baby.

I grew up with three dogs, four cats and an assortment of various reptiles so admittedly I am animal-biased, but was I BU to be upset that this was her reaction to our pregnancy news?

OP posts:
Original poster
maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 12:25

Also I'm laughing at the 'cats smell milk and will cuddle up to the baby' waffle, does that mean when I have a cup of horlicks my cat should start cuddling me, because I can assure you that neither of them do, any more so than usual anyway.

OP posts:
Madratlady · 14/07/2015 12:26

We had 2 when DS was born. One never goes near him, the other watched over him and meowed at me if DS cried. We got a kitten when DS was 1 and they are great friends.

LizLemon · 14/07/2015 12:38

How charming. YANBU - it's got nothing to do with her.

We had two cats when DS was born, and my Grandma said the same thing to me. I told her I certainly wouldn't be getting rid of them.

When he was born Cat1 decided the baby was the noisest, vilest thing she'd ever seen and avoided him for about three years - now we find her sleeping at the end of his bed. Cat2, who sleeps in everything and on anything, never once went near the cot/moses basket/toddler bed, but did like to guard him. Neither cat lashed out at the baby - they just remove themselves to somewhere quiet if the noise levels get too much. Just make sure they have a nice bed of their own.

I did get a cat net (PFB) but never used it. like half the stuff I bought.

Isabeau1980 · 14/07/2015 13:51

I must be lucky. The only comment I got about my 3 cats was from a colleague who said (with a mildly disgusted look on her face) "You're not one of those people who gave away their cats the second they found out that they were pregnant?" I very quickly reassured her that I wasn't.

I did however get some advice that suggested getting a recording of a baby crying and play it for the cats to get them accustomed to the noise. My cats looked at me as if I had 2 heads and just walked away. Hmm

Allstoppedup · 14/07/2015 14:01

My cats couldn't have given my new born a wider birth! They were not impressed- until weaning started and they realised a daily food shower was a distinct possibility! Grin

My mum was the same though and went down the hygiene route saying I would feel different about the cats when my baby arrived- for the record, I don't they are still my fuzzy little dudes but they do get less of my attention obviously!

My DS is 18 months now and LOVES them so much. One is a docile moron softie and even lets DS get away with using him as a pillow! Their relationship has been great for my boisterous LO to understand what 'gentle' means too.

I couldn't have a home without pets and I hate the notion that a loved family pet should be ousted for a new baby- most cat/baby myths are just that and have no place in reality anyway! ours does like to sleep in the pram/car seat/anywhere he's not allowed though, he's so far ignored most of our requests that he stays OUT, we just bought a cheap throw to cover these items when they aren't in use so they don't get hairy!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

myusernamewastaken · 14/07/2015 14:43

I also had this when i was pregnant 12 years ago with my daughter....my beautiful docile 14 year old female cat used to sleep on my baby bump.....she loved the baby and i used to find her asleep in the moses basket when my daughter wasn't in it.....it just meant i had to wash it more often as the cat is very fluffy xx

FaffingtonBear · 14/07/2015 15:09

Ignore her.

I had many comments as well asking when I was going to rehome my dogs etc now that I was pregnant. I didn't rehome them (had 2) and the fact they had to be walked each day I'm sure helped me a lot in the early days of wandering what the feck I was doing and was it night or day helped me get some fresh air and something else to think about other than baby for the first few weeks.

OnlyLovers · 14/07/2015 15:14

Their relationship has been great for my boisterous LO to understand what 'gentle' means too.

i think this is so important. Pets are great for helping children to learn gentleness and care, as well as responsibility. Something the anti-pet nutters types either don't care about or perhaps just haven't thought about.

Original poster
maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 21:36

Thanks everyone. Lovely to see a thread of animal lovers on MN instead of cat/dog bashing threads you usually see :)

OP posts:
RaaRaaNoiseyLittleLion · 14/07/2015 22:03

To be fair though, there is another view on this.

Some people are wary of the link between cats and toxoplasmosis

www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2620.aspx

It may be this is the back of some people's minds and they are just badly articulating their concerns rather than just saying 'take extra special care cleaning up after cats when you are pregnant'.

Sorry to rain on the parade but my brother was actually savaged by our family cat when he was a baby. He was only a few months old lying on the living room rug and the cat just went for him, no provocation whatsoever. Mum was very upset and cat got re homed.

I love animals btw the way, I have two daft dogs so I would never say get rid at all. Just I think it's important to keep in mind no one can say 100% say how their pet will react all the time, they are animals and are all capable of unpredictable behaviour (as are humans!). As long as you are aware and take necessary precautions it will be fine.

Katinkka · 14/07/2015 22:07

I had cats and babies. You do have to watch them though. babies are warm and cots are nice places to sleep. We had one of those nets and were very vigilant. Congrats.

WyrdByrd · 14/07/2015 22:08

What a load of cobblers! My friend is a senior veterinary nurse - both her DC's arrived into a household of six, previously hand-reared cats with no issues whatsoever.

Admittedly I also knew someone who did have to get rid of their, but iirc it was once their DS became a rather trying toddler!

UncertainSmile · 14/07/2015 22:09

Congratulations! Perhaps she thinks the cats will eat the baby's souls, or something equally mad.

GinLimeandLemonade · 14/07/2015 22:42

We've got a 6 month old DS and two cats. Boycat loves DS - rolls around on the floor next to him and rubs up against him. Girlcat is indifferent - lets DS stroke her but doesn't really go near him.

You do have to supervise, as you would with any animal. I think boycat probably would snuggle up and sleep next to/on top of DS if he could, not because he "can smell the milk!!" but just because he wants DS to cuddle him! I've not left them alone with him (apart from very quickly going to the next room iyswim) but I think once he's on the move I won't need to worry as they'll probably hide out upstairs most of the time!

I wouldn't let them sleep in with us because I know they'd try sleeping with him/us and I wouldn't be comfortable with it. But I'd never get rid of them because we've got a baby now, they were my babies first! Grin

Original poster
maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 23:01

You're actually much more likely to get toxoplasmosis from unwashed fruit and veg than from cats. And in any case I am (touch wood) unlikely to get it from my two as (a) they are indoor cats and (b) I've been around cats my entire life so its highly likely I'm already immune. In any case DH is doing the litter changes.

OP posts:
emwithme · 14/07/2015 23:03

This has been best summed up by this cartoon

Original poster
maybebabybee · 14/07/2015 23:04

Out of interest how did people keep their cats out of their bedrooms when baby arrived? We've tried keeping ours out and they just go bats and scratch at the door. For hours - they don't give up!

OP posts:
fairfat40 · 14/07/2015 23:08

My mum had same attitude, and she was worried about toxoplasmosis. You can be tested. Chances are you'll have already being infected, and will have natural immunity - I did.

SingingSands · 14/07/2015 23:12

She sounds like my MIL, who asked WHEN we were going to get rid of the cat, not IF! I replied "we're not, don't be ridiculous" and that was the end of it.

selly24 · 14/07/2015 23:22

Your SIL is an idiot. Ignore. Thousands of babies have grown up safely in cat friendly homes!

misskatamari · 14/07/2015 23:29

She's being ridiculous, try not to worry about the cats op. We have two and I never worried about them when we had dd 18 months ago as they just gave her a wide berth when she was a baby. One of them was interested in coming and having a cautious look but they never went near her cot or Moses basket. Now she's older they're friendly and she loves them, and thankfully they're pretty chilled out and put up with her attempts at stroking. Dd has had night terrors recently and both cats come in to see what's wrong and are obviously concerned about her, and seeing them has actually helped bring her out of them, as she's come to and said their names but been completely oblivious to me and dh. Gosh I'm a crazy cat lady aren't i! My main point is, your cats will be fine with your baby, just ignore your pet hating sil!

DowntheTown · 14/07/2015 23:33

Three cats, three babies - never a problem. She's talking nonsense! A bit of cat fluff etc probably does the immune system good too!

LassUnparalleled · 15/07/2015 00:02

Congratulations and just to add my tuppence worth - she is talking bollocking. My two never went near baby or cot. Which is quite odd as all my cats have slept on my bed, including the 2 we had when my son was born.

RockinHippy · 15/07/2015 00:28

Your SIL is as everyone seems to agree, a prize twonk

  1. Having pets has been proven to prevent allergies, not cause them
  1. She sounds a bit young to be spouting such old wives tale nonsense

I had 2 cats when DD was born, both older cats who were used to getting spoilt. 1 kept out of DDs way.

The elderly female cat lovingly guarded her. After a few frazzled new mum weeks with a newborn that couldn't be put down without raising the roof, I realised that our cat was trying to calm her down by laying along side her & purring. This was the ONLY thing bar my holding & rocking her that stopped DD crying, so I let our cat lay with DD because DD & the cat clearly both loved it & it calmed DD & our cat was clearly no danger to her. Our cat would also come & warn me that DD was about to wake up, she was always right too

DDs first word was Cat & they were the best of friends for the first 8 years of DDs life :)

GinLimeandLemonade · 15/07/2015 16:59

Our (indoor) cats have the box room as "their" room spoilt buggers so they go in there at night. It's been that way since we got them as kittens though so they're used to it, I'm not sure how they'd take it if it was a sudden change. Me and DS co-sleep which is why I wouldn't feel comfortable with them in with us too as I think they'd want to snuggle up to us!

Just do what you feel comfortable with and tell SIL to bugger off! Smile