I've only been on ESA for a month and I've already had my first 'you should just get a little job instead' comment.

[LadyFuckrington]

From my sister. I'm in the support group for ESA due to mental health issues. She has moaned to my mum that it's not fair she has to work so hard and I can get free money, and that I ought to get a part time job instead.

I've worked my whole life and it's contribution based esa, my dh has a good job but we had a shortfall after I was signed off and subsequently left my job. I've tried to take my own life twice in the last three months and getting through the day alive is my priority at the moment.

My psychiatrist and gp say I'm too ill to work but apparently my sister thinks I should just pull my socks up and do an evening job like she does.

Aibu to be spitting fucking feathers? Posting here so I don't phone her and give her both barrels.

Take no notice. Your sister is a closed minded idiot.
You have been proven not fit to work by professionals. Who I am certain know a lot more about MH issue than she does.

It's not fair she has to work for her money. She should be thankful she is well enough to work. Neither is having a mental illness and not being able to work fair. I bet you'd give anything to be able to work.
Be kind to your self

Whilst I agree that your sister is probably being very insensitive, there is evidence to suggest that doing useful work can actually help people with depression to improve. When they are ready, and can cope. Please don't take this the wrong way.

www.actionondepression.org/information/depression/living-with-depression/work-and-depression/depression-in-employment

What a silly cow. Don't let it eat you up (the fact that you're annoyed), tell her you're pissed off if you feel the need to, otherwise you'll just feel worse.

Lady I completely understand these impulses and the 'burden' feeling and send you . Your sis clearly does not understand, she would not dream of saying to someone with a life threatening condition, oh I wish I had that, I could get some free money'.

If she is usually a good sister to you, I would try to disregard what she said. Mh and especially these impulses are hard to describe and understand, and as a pp said, some people can't cope with the reality of suicidal feelings and try to dismiss them. There are websites that could help educate your sister, but only if she wants to understand. Take care.

I would ask your mum to keep such messages to herself.

re-read your OP and your mum has passed this on to you, why did she do that?

I sometimes say terrible things to my mum about my brothers who I love dearly, I wouldn't want repeated to them!.

Yes I shouldn't say them but can't you say anything to your mum? Mum should NOT have told you.

I think it's as insensitive of your DM to pass such a message on, as it was for DS to make them.

It was actually my brother who let it slip and I then forced the rest of it out of him. He didn't want to tell me.

He was there when the conversation took place and did defend me apparently, as did my mum.

how awful...sending you so much love.

Your mum AND your sister are of the same mind.

I'd say that they have a likely role in your mh issues somehow too.

Protect yourself and be only with those who are supportive of you.

A decent person would have told your sister to /stfu (if indeed she said irbid the first place at all) and certainly would revel in telling you.

Give them a WIDE berth, and for good reason.

I'm furious with them on your behalf.

X post.

So it is your sis. But he's an idiot for slipping.

Yep, sorry spartans it was crass of me to make a political point. I do feel that benefit bashing has become ok when it really should be utterly unacceptable.

Ugh, what a family to have - stupid and unpleasant, always a dream combo. Sympathies.

All the very best to you - Get Better Soon

Sorry to hear about your situation - it is so sad that many seem unwilling or unable to empathise with other people's awful circumstances. But there are plenty out there who aren't like that and really do care x

Below I have copied what I have put in a thread on the budget - some of you might wish to add your voice to the petition:

*Just want to let anyone who is opposed to the welfare aspects of this budget know that the prospective Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is running an online petition against it - jeremyforlabour.takeaction.org.uk/petition/childtaxcredits

if you are able, please let your friends on facebook/twitter etc know about it.

I was disgusted at the 'pragmatic' position Harriet Harman took on the budget - what is the point of Labour being a watered down version of the Tories?*

Apologies, my attempt to provide a petition link in my above post didn't seem to work - I'll have another go...

jeremyforlabour.takeaction.org.uk/petition/childtaxcredits

Raggerty much as I would love Corbyn to be PM. I don't want him as the labour leader because he would not lead the Labour Party to victory in the next election.

Tell your sister she is welcome to your illness to get some free money if she likes. I am astounded that a sister would say such crud, thing is this free money rubbish is dripped in Tv programmes forums like mumsnet newspapers that folk start to believe it.

AndNowItsSeven

You may well be right. But every now and again, it is surely good to give the public the benefit of the doubt and offer them a real choice - look at how well the anti-austerity parties like Plaid and the SNP did. What I find refreshing is to have a genuine conviction politician who will never be caught out with accusations of hypocrisy...that has to be worth a punt when we have little else to lose!

Its REALLY hard to get onto ESA for mental health let alone in support group. It's a sign that PROFESSIONALS AGREE that you just need to look after you right now.

Ignore your sister and focus on getting better.

I know how you feel. I have clinical depression and severe rheumatoid [arthritis. My ds has autism. Yet my own dad said we should be in a [.

You have to develop a thick skin when you are ill, otherwise these kinds of people will chip you down even further

In a workhouse. Silly phone messing up my post.