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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To give DD the big bedroom and take the boxroom?

70 replies

FanfeckintasticFitbit · 13/07/2015 00:19

We live in a small 2 bed duplex and at the moment me and DP have the small/medium size bedroom and DD has the tiny boxroom. She's starting school in September and I'm sure with that will come having friends over eventually etc and I feel really bad we have such a small home and she has no real place of her own, the sitting room and kitchen are joined so they wouldn't really get any privacy.
It makes sense to me to give her our bedroom and get a midi sleeper so she would have plenty of floor space and a big built in wardrobe could be used for toys, books etc too. Though it would mean we would have a room that would only just fit our bed and I'd probably have to use a mix between her current small wardrobe and the hot press for my clothes and DP could have his own chest of drawers in the landing. I do love my bedroom and have lots in the way of cosmetics, perfumes etc but I could put shelves up in the box room for them?

Is it a crazy idea or a good idea I really can't decide but I think it would be hugely beneficial for DD but it doesn't seem that way now because she has no interest in playing in her room she always wants to be around us and imagine switching and she's still not bothered about her new room?

OP posts:

Starlightbright1 · 13/07/2015 07:36

Firslty no she doesn't need privacy but it sounds far too small for you and DP..

My DS (8) has what essentially is a box room. He doesn't have a wardrobe so that clears space. I plan to do the high sleeper Den thing. He has friends stay occasionally.. no there isn't room for a big sleepover however after reading some threads on here that is not a bad thing.

My DS doesn't really play in his room unless his friends are here and don't believe he would if he had a bigger room.

I also think this is you discounting yourselves..

I don't think the adults necessarily need the biggest room but a box room is too small for a couple

fourtothedozen · 13/07/2015 07:52

OH and I have the second smallest bedroom- It's big enough for us, a double bed and storage.
DD has a 32 foot long bedroom. She has friends over, her computer/TV, desk/study area, she uses it for dance practice too. WE have plenty other living space downstairs that OH and I are happy to use.

Original poster

FanfeckintasticFitbit · 13/07/2015 10:29

Thanks a million for all the replies.

My late night ideas aren't usually my best to be honest, I was looking at her room this morning and I think I'd have gone crazy, me and DP getting ready for work in between landing and hotpress storage! Her bedroom is tiny but as many of you have pointed out, there are much more creative ways to make it better for her but it just isn't suitable for two adults at all.

We would be in a position to buy bigger in a few years so I think my focus should probably be on that more so! Thanks so much

OP posts:

woodhill · 13/07/2015 10:46

No way, I would stay in the larger room. It is too cramped for 2 people in a box room IMO

ephemeralfairy · 13/07/2015 10:51

I had the box room til I was about 12, I liked it because it looked out onto the garden.
I did however have an amazing raised bed, like a bunk bed without the bottom bunk so I had the area under the bed for playing and making dens etc. My dad built it himself and I absolutely loved it. My friends (most of whom had much bigger bedrooms) were all jealous of my flying bed!

Could you do something like that?

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 13/07/2015 11:07

Why do people start clutching their pearls when adults talk about having a smaller room than their children? It's pathetic. Kids have more crap, shoving their crap in a bigger room makes more sense than an adult having a bigger bedroom because of some imaginary hierarchy rules.

I'd happily have the box room, if there's room for the bed it's all good.

Taytocrisps · 13/07/2015 11:13

I haven't read all the replies and I'm not sure how old your DD is, but could you put in bunk beds?

woodhill · 13/07/2015 11:30

possibly because there are 2 of you plus you are the ones paying for the housing not the child so why shouldn't you have a bigger room. I have alot of stuff myself and clothing.

fourtothedozen · 13/07/2015 12:51

you are the ones paying for the housing not the child so why shouldn't you have a bigger room.

A child has no option to earn. That's like saying a SAHM should get smaller portions because they don't have a salary.

Notthecarwashagain · 13/07/2015 13:06

I put Dd in the big bedroom when we moved into this house.
Our old house had 3 double rooms, but this one has I double, 1 single and 1 box.

DD was coming up to GCSEs and I wanted her to have some space to study, and a place to go and have a break from DS when he got a bit lively (vocal and motor tics)
DS likes very small spaces so has the box room.
I don't have a lot of 'stuff' so I have my double bed in the single!

It works for us, I think it all depends on the household.

woodhill · 13/07/2015 13:16

Of course a dc has no option to earn but to me it comes back to a pecking order and adults come first as far as I am concerned with a decent bedroom.

fourtothedozen · 13/07/2015 13:38

"pecking order"

I don't view my family in those terms. No one in our family is more important or better than anyone else.

morethanpotatoprints · 13/07/2015 13:44

No way, give her the box room. Our dd has a big room and atm I am taking a lunch break from sorting the mess she has made, she is 11 You will really not believe the disgusting mess I found.
The bigger the room the more mess they make and unless you have heaps of storage space will become a disaster.
As the biggest room they tend to get surplus bedding etc and they only mess this up too.
We are moving dd into a tiny box room despite living in quite a large 4 bed semi, we've had enough

woodhill · 13/07/2015 14:01

oh well we all see things differently. agree about the mesw thing. my ds has box room, he is tidy. dd has a double room and is so messy.

SaucyJack · 13/07/2015 14:06

If you can fit all your stuff in the smaller bedroom, then I would (and have done). Both our bedrooms are of a reasonable size tho.

It's not really a privacy thing for us. It just means the kids' bedroom can double as a playroom which has a positive knock-on effect on the tidiness of the lounge.

Floggingmolly · 13/07/2015 14:07

Going against the grain as usual; I would do this. As long as our bed and the wardrobe fit in the box room, I wouldn't see the issue.

I don't store big toys in my room, nor do I get down on the floor to play with little toys the way kids do.

fourtothedozen · 13/07/2015 14:10

floggingmolly- I agree. It's the practical issues. My DD has a much bigger bedroom than we do, but then I don't have all her stuff.

00100001 · 13/07/2015 14:13

I'm with most other people too, I wouldn't give them the big room either.

If a child has so much stuff that they needed the largest room in the houses to keep it all, then they have too much stuff.

GloGirl · 13/07/2015 14:13

I'd swap - my bedroom is just for sleeping in. You could put all your clothes etc in her room as well as your plans using some clever Ikea storage solutions.

fourtothedozen · 13/07/2015 14:19

*If a child has so much stuff that they needed the largest room in the houses to keep it all, then they have too much stuff.

Your opinion maybe- my DD has stuff she needs and uses. Camping kit, PC, dance stuff ( 8 pairs of dance shoes alone) sports equipment, study materials, make up, clothes, board games, dolls house, cuddly toys. She has far more personal stuff than I do and I would rather it was all stored in her big room than cluttering up the rest of the house.

00100001 · 13/07/2015 14:26

Well, maybe she could look at downsizing a bit? Why does a 15 year old have that many Dolls Houses/Cuddly Toys etc?

00100001 · 13/07/2015 14:26

why does she need 8 pairs of dance shoes btw? :)

00100001 · 13/07/2015 14:27

why does she need 8 pairs of dance shoes btw? :)

DJThreeDog · 13/07/2015 14:29

Don't feel bad about living in a small home! Your daughter has her own bedroom (which is bigger than my smallest room incidentally!). Loads of children share.

fourtothedozen · 13/07/2015 14:30

Many adults have cuddly toys. My DD is 15 but not an adult yet. I can't see anything wrong with having a few precious childhood cuddly toys in her room.
Do you think that's bad?

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