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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stop going to family gatherings..

70 replies

AuntieMeemz · 12/07/2015 22:49

Nephew is now 10 and has just stopped breast feeding on demand in public!
MIL bellows across the room at me when she doesn't like what she THINKS I'm doing..
BIL tells my children off (when they both win prizes for polite behaviour) whilst his children smash the place up..
BIL and SIL always insist that Nephew gets everything he wants at the table, everyone else can share what is left- he is the greediest child I have ever met, he steals all the Easter eggs, opens all the children's presents at Christmas, even though we give him a bag of his own to distract him.
I am emotionally sensitive, so this whole thing feels worse to me than it might to others, I suspect.
MIL says don't rock the boat, we are only together 3 days of the year. Can't you just put up with it? We do every time, but I hate myself for not standing up to them all. When I have done, it has resulted in them being very,very abusive and making me feel like the worst person that ever lived). If we stand up to them (DH always supports me, but it panics me because it starts such a torrent of abuse towards us, and ends with us quietly leaving while they yell their abuse and insults at us as we close the door).

OP posts:
FrancesNiadova · 13/07/2015 02:06

Just stop going. Let DH go, but you & your dcs just don't go. No dramas, no long drawn out explanations, you have a day out elsewhere or even a day at home on your own.
I'm Shock at your dcs having their Christmas presents & Easter Eggs taken off them by this boy. Why are they worth less/not loved as much as he is? You need to protect them from this as it could affect them for the rest of their lives.
As for breastfeeding at 10, stupid woman, it's not like he's even got mill teeth now, is it? Grin

FrancesNiadova · 13/07/2015 02:08

Milk teeth, even! Blush

Iflyaway · 13/07/2015 02:15

Breastfeeding at the age of 10?!! First I heard of it, I did it for a year... and I was one of the few....

What, waiting at the school gate and then pulling out a tit? Haha, very funny. 10-year-olds have a full set of teeth and eat like anyone else.

Topseyt · 13/07/2015 02:34

Breastfeeding at 10!! Shock

First time I have ever heard of that. I had to read it several times and look for your updates to check I had it right.

They sound like a bunch of arsewipes. Just make sure you have prior engagement whenever they plan to hold a gathering.

Teabagbeforemilk · 13/07/2015 06:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntyMag10 · 13/07/2015 06:50

10 is she madConfused how awful and totally unnecessary.
Yanbu they sound like a nightmare to be stuck with for a few days.

Hazchem · 13/07/2015 06:55

Is this a wind up? You have slagged of your sister in law for term feeding and tandem feeding both if which are perfectly normal for humans.

BusyBeingFabulous · 13/07/2015 06:56

Breast feeding at 10 years old is not perfectly normal.

RachelRagged · 13/07/2015 09:00

Bitty Grin Grin

reni1 · 13/07/2015 09:07

I wouldn't care about the very extended bf, she could bf her dh for all I care. Opening your dc's presents and easter eggs is off, as is the general abuse.

Don't go, tell the ILs why. Ask your dc and dh, have a family vote and then you can say you were unanimous in this decision.

ohtheholidays · 13/07/2015 09:07

Your in laws all sound like they should be residing in Silent Hill.

Op never ever go and visit them again!! You have no reason what so ever to put your poor children or yourselves through that kind of madness ever again!

KatieScarlettreregged · 13/07/2015 09:08

The next time they try the "family is all" angle just tell them "but the DC and I hate you and everything you stand for."
Job done.

Teabagbeforemilk · 13/07/2015 09:17

If family is all, they need to sort the family out.

I wouldn't put myself or my kids through this shit

OttiliaVonBCup · 13/07/2015 09:19

10 seems a bit old for breastfeeding.

Bakeoffcake · 13/07/2015 09:24

My FIL insists when he was at school in the 50s, that one of the mums used to come to the playground at play and lunchtime and BF her child. She did I this until she was 11.

I still don't know wether to believe him or not!

OP stay away from your relatives. They sound orrible.

Bakeoffcake · 13/07/2015 09:25

Excuse typos!

HellBoundNothingFound · 13/07/2015 09:32

Do they the bango, and wear dungarees?

I'd be very uncomfortable seeing a child of 10 being breastfed and I'm pretty open minded and unshockable

MrsTaraPlumbing · 13/07/2015 09:33

Regardless of the issues/ reasons.
Life is too short and your own DH & kids too special to spend time with people you don't like.
I'm surprised you have stuck with them for this long.
Don't mix with them.
Lots of people I know do not socialise in any way with some or all of their in-laws and there is NO good reason why they should.

glenthebattleostrich · 13/07/2015 09:36

DD fed until she self weaned so big fan of natural term feeding but 10 is taking the piss surely.

There is no way any other child would be stealing my DDs presents in front of her either. The child and parents would be given the benefit of my opinion very strongly!

OP, tell them in more family gatherings until your children are treated equally. Or go and shit in her knicker drawer.

JessiePinkMan · 13/07/2015 09:38

BF at 10 is for her benefit Hmm not his surely??

Backforthis · 13/07/2015 09:38

I bet you didn't think so many people would believe this shit.

Trambuctious · 13/07/2015 09:42

IF this is true you need to keep going and video it secretly and post on Youtube. Or write a thesis on it or something. It is weird / extreme human behaviour and needs to be documented.

Chrysanthemum5 · 13/07/2015 09:47

The breastfeeding might be uncomfortable to watch, but it wouldn't be the thing that stopped me going. However, if your nephew opens your DCs presents that would be the end for me.

I would leave your DH to talk to his mum, and just detatch

SylvanianCaracal · 13/07/2015 09:50

They yell and scream at you anyway, so you've got nothing to lose.

"We are going to give it a miss this year as we have other plans"

"Oh blah blah you have to be with family it's so important blah blah blah..."

"I know that's how you feel, but what we want is XYZ and that's what we are doing"

Repeat as many times as necessary. Stop picking up the phone. Just end conversations with "I have to go, bye".

You are not a delicate flower. They have made you think you are for not liking this appalling scenario, but no one normal would like it. Even if you are sensitive, well everyone has their sensitivities, it's not something to be mocked.

scarlets · 13/07/2015 09:56

The extended breastfeeding thing is very .....strange.