To say no to SIL?

[PiperChapstick]

MIL birthday coming up in August. Up until last 5 years or so DH and I bought a gift for her. Then SIL started to ask to go thirds on a present with her and her, husband, us and BIL/BILs girlfriend.

First few years was gifts about £60 so £20 per couple. Happy with this and always got wine as an extra something. Last 2 years the price has crept up to about £200 - spa days and posh hair straighteners. Always SILs ideas. Today she has text us asking if we want to go thirds - on a fucking £550 puppy.

BIL said no - he's split up with his GF so can't afford to go thirds and has had his hours reduced at work. So she's sent me a separate message ranting about how selfish BIL is and how MIL deserves a puppy (she is fab and does a lot for us, and has done so much for BIL last few years, long story but he probably wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for her).

Thing is AIBU to think it's ludicrous a spend £550 on a birthday present for a 58 year old? I've never heard her say she wants a puppy (SIL bit of a crazy dog lady and thinks everyone should have a dog). She's asked if we can stretch to pay half. We have joint savings, but that's for a holiday/impending house move - would IBU to tell her to piss right off politely decline too?

DH at work so not sure what he thinks yet

Spa days you say? Who goes on the spa days with MIL? SIL by any chance?

Just put an end to shared presents. Go back to what you did before.

I'd be amazed if any reputable breeder would allow one of their puppies to be given as a present, they want to meet the people who are going to be looking after them.

My DP (before we got together) clubbed together with his sister to get his mum a Westie puppy. The pup is now a lovely dog, but has cost so much in vet's bills, it's unbelievable. DP has now been educated...

X posted with Sacred. I got grilled by my dog's breeder, and that was a private rehome arranged by her, when his original owner was too illl to look after him any more.

The trouble is, a lot of "breeders"
That advertise in Preloved are just greedy people or puppy farmers, so won't check much at all. They're known as greeders rather than breeders, as it's all about the money.

you/Sil cannot seriously consider buying a dog as a present?

The sort of breeder who will sell a puppy as a present is exactly the sort of breeder that anyone involved in rescues would never be willing to support.

And of course a puppy shouldn't be a present anyway.

Well YeOlde I got there first and subtely asked if she'd have a dog and she said she had thought about it lots but didn't think it would be fair when she worked full time.

30 mins later in rolls DH from work "[sisters name] has lost the plot mum she wants to get you a puppy. Shall I tell her to stop being a fuckwit"

MIL stated she categorically does not want a puppy for her birthday and will speak to SIL. Problem solved. Phew.
Christ knows what an alternative idea will be!

PS Sunday dinner lush but potatoes were burnt again

Spa days you say? Who goes on the spa days with MIL? SIL by any chance?

I found out a few months after we sent SIL money that we had also paid for MIL friend to go!! It would be boring on your own apparently (IMO I could go on a spa day with Prince Harry and Sarah Millican and still be bored shitless because we would be in the centre of Bore Universe getting awkwardly caressed by strangers - but that's another thread)

Phew thank god for that! SIL needs to.be told to rein it in present wise though. She might suggest an aquarium next - don't need to take fish for walks etc!

Well done your straight talking DH, what daftly expensive gift do you think your SIL will suggest next?

Kamer I'm willing to take MN bets on the following -

50/1 - Mobile home
40/1 - a new fitted kitchen
30/1 - diamond necklace
25/1 - three piece suite
35/1 - holiday to Disney Florida
15/1 - a small island off the coast of South America

She deserves it after all

awkwardly caressed by strangers

Haha!

And that, right there, sums up why i will never go on a spa day.

Thank fuck for that! Really you should stand up more to SIL. If she starts asking for shed loads of money for presents, say no you will do yiur own thing.

Would think that this time is a perfect time to go back to buying a separate present after telling your sil that you think getting a puppy for your mil is an awful idea - let alone spending £100s on - and that it's clearly time to have a permanent break from the joint presents!

I agree, no more group gifts...quickly buy your mil a birthday present and your sil can sort out her own idea within what she can afford to spend.

Well that's that sorted out!

Of course you'll both be selfish for telling MIL!

How can she hav a puppy/dog anyway if she works full tim?

SIL can't be much of a dog lover to think that that would be OK.

Think you may need to nip the shared present buying in the bud or you'll be having this every Christmas and birthday! Just say to SIL that sorry, but you've done your own thing for MIL this time round. And repeat until she gets it.

Glad puppy is off the agenda. Couldn't you go back to a shared sensibly priced shared gift with BIL?