Should DH be visiting me more in hospital

[PyjamasLlamas]

So Saturday morning at 2am DH and me come into A&E. I'm 26 weeks pg and was having palpitations and shortness of breath, dizziness , heart racing etc

Got seen and had bloods taken by 3.30. Great. Had to wait 4 hrs for results so 7.30am. Got told HB was 7.5 and needed a blood transfusion and was going to be transferred to labour ward.

I told DH to go his mums and get sleep. DS is there with DH parents. This was at 8.
He comes back at 1 with some food. Falls asleep on chair. Leaves again at 4 when my mum and sister come round. In busy having the blood transfusions. It goes on for hours.

He's not coming back to see me. I'm going to be in overnight as they have to wait to take new bloods and the results etc.

I'm bored and lonely. Sister was here for ages being lovely. DH has nothing to do. His parents are busy looking after DS so h can sleep.

I just feel a bit pissed off that he's so uncaring and can't b bothered to just sit with me being bored but I'm aware hormones may be making me unreasonable.

I should add for full disclosure he's also fasting. So he was fasting from when we came in at 2am until 9.15 this evening.

AIBU to think h could have come more during day to keep me company?

Why aren't you being direct with him saying 'I need you here, please come immediately'? Why the hinting and references to your sister being so nice by visiting, and how bored and lonely you are? I'm sorry you're in hospital and feel isolated and anxious, but please, be direct.

I'm not Muslim, but based on the behaviour of fasting Muslim friends who have had family emergencies during Ramadan, I would absolutely expect him to break the fast and make it up later if his fasting was making it too difficult to look after his child and be with you regularly in hospital.

I know I need to be more direct and actually as icimoi says 9/20 hrs not bad when knackered and fasting.

Sorry. Am just having a rubbish pregnancy and needed a moan. It's 9am and I haven't heard from him. Again I'm a little upset but need to get over it.

Do you know what i actually don't think your being unreasonable. My dh is fasting and i are fasting, and if he pulled shit like that is be fuming. Its different if he was looking after the little one. But he's not and were actually meant to carry on as normal not nap all day. Also you could remind him he's rewarded for visiting the sick

I don't know tbh...when I was pregnant and had to be admitted and stay in at 38 weeks, DH stayed as much as he could but it was our first so no one else to look after and he couldn't stay overnight due to the visiting hours. I coped ok when he wasn't there tbh.

I'm due to have a big op with a 5 day hospital stay very soon and I know he will only be able to visit me for 2 hours a day. He has to look after our DS the rest of the time and the visiting hours are very limited anyway.

I think the main thing is that you feel he should be there more so you need to tell him that.

Chillyegg, you do realise OP's DH had almost certainly been up all night, don't you?

Sympathies on their being in hospital, time goes especially slowly in hospitals I find. There's none of the distractions you get at home. I hope you feel better and are released soon. If you have to stay overnight again, do you have earplugs as these help. Do you have one of those TVs over your bed?

I have to say, I don't think your DH is being U, he was there for a few hours and your sister was also there. There's not much really he could do for you, although I know it would be comforting to have his "presence" there, he would probably be more useful looking after your DC1. Can DC1 visit with him maybe so at least you get a little bit of company?

I will sound really bad here, but with DC3 I spent most of my pregnancy on bed rest in hospital, everyone thought I would be climbing the walls - but electric bed, magazines, food brought to me, no DC to look after - it felt like a holiday

I do hope you feel better soon. Do you have any ideas when they will release you?

Got home about an hour ago. Hurrah.

Will have to have another blood transfusions and an iron transfusion (there's a fancier name for it) in a few months just before labour.

Also have to go into hospital every two days for the next month to have vitamin B12 injections! What a hassle. Going to be a nightmare to organise.

Also upped my iron dosage and I need to take folic acid again for rest if pregnancy.

So a lot of medical intervention. Anyway DH was much better today. He knew I was upset. Came in at 11 and stayed with me until discharge around 5.

Well, good news your DH visited and you got out! Bet you are happy to be home.

Is there a practice nurse at your GP who could do the injections?