To be upset that my two close friends, whom I introduced to each other are now besties and I'm left out?

[Youloveit]

I have been friends with A for about 5 years. We live in the same road and I have for the past couple of years considered her to be one of my best friends.

I have known B for longer - around 10 years - and until recently she lived across the other side of town. I too have considered her to be one of my best friends.

A and B hadn't met until B moved into the same road as A and I a year ago. When B moved here I invited her round a few times when A was here, and was happy when they got on well. B's child was due to start in reception at the school that my children and A's children attend so I thought it would be nice for B to know some other parents.

However over the past 6 months they have increasingly done more and more together, and they both seem to not particularly want to see me. They have joined a gym together and go to classes there. Neither asked me if I wanted to join too. They have also had a couple of days out in school holidays with their kids, but not asked my kids and I if we would like to go. Today I have seen on Facebook that they've gone to London to see a show :-/ Plus lots of other coffees and nights out.

It's fine with me that they get on, and fine that they're friends but I'm so upset about how they keep leaving me out and never including me. I don't understand why. If I suggest things they are always too busy or bail out at the last minute. I actually saw B yesterday during the school run and suggested having a coffee next week and she muttered about checking her diary and couldn't get away quickly enough. I don't think either of them like me enough anymore to do things like go to a gym with me or go to London with me. They are both quite offhand with me when I do see them.

I have other friends of course, but these two were my best friends and I'm gutted that they have both just dumped me.

The OP was friends with these women - whom she describes as her two "best friends" - for five snd ten years. She introduced them to each other with the friendliest of motives - to introduce B to the neighbourhood and to another mother from the school her child was to attend. This was lovely, sociable, normal behaviour. In return, not only do they now fail to invite her to any of the outings/get-togethers they frequently have but, when she tries to invite them to things or, even talk to them, they now do not give her the time of day. Whether or not they have actually discussed excluding her, that is what they are doing so I would call their behaviour nasty, inconsiderate and selfish.

I totally agree better, they way they have treated op is awful, it's like bullying. It's not an adult mature way to treat a friend, whether you have grown apart or not. They deserve one another.

gosh, OP, so sorry they are such cunts. You are lovely, and i have no more advice to add to the excellent advice PPs have given.

This happened to me in my old neighbourhood and it really hurt for a time. Looking back, they had more in common with each other than I did, I suppose. I moved on and i'm dimly aware of them now but have a fab set of much better friends. It will be ok, promise.

Also agree with these kind of intense friendships tend to implode.

I've been on the other side of this. A schoolfriend introduced me to a friend of hers from her orchestra on a night out, and we hit it off. This was in the 1990s when we were 18, and we are still very close. Sometimes new friendships can be like new relationships, very heady and all-consuming. Our mutual friend talked to me about her feelings at the time, and I'm glad she did, because we resolved it and she's still a friend and very special to me.

YANBU. Same thing happened to me with one of my oldest friends who moved to my town. I introduced her to my mum friends and she decided there was one in particular she really liked who happened to be one of my closest mum friends.

I haven't said anything as I am still friends with both of them plus a few others in our group. I'm not totally excluded but the two of them have become very close and do stuff with their DC and DHs. I feel I would feel pathetic and needy to mention how hurt I am, and cause upset in the group.

The friendship has started to cool off a bit and my old friend is now trying to make more arrangements with me. Newer friend has complained to me that she is feeling that my old friend isn't seeing her so much anymore and she feels hurt. Hard to sympathise really.

I think new friendships can be like love affairs for some people. Very intense and at the expense of others but these friendships burn out after a while.

Regardless of how well the other two women hit it off, their behaviour towards the OP is childish and rude. It is possible for them to become close friends without completing shutting out the original friend who brought them together.

Either they're both nasty and insensitive people, or one of them is and the other is too weak to stand up to them. Whichever it is, you're better off without them.

I suspect that at least one of your ex-friends is quite possessive and needs an exclusive best friend. That's why I think they may fall out given time.
I wouldn't be waiting in the wings though OP-I would build up a life without them.
Still very hurtful though.