To hate my elderly neighbours talking to me in the garden?

[stepmothersknockers]

I live in a terraced house. The neighbours on one side talk to me whenever I am in the garden. Whenever I STEP into the garden - to put washing out or water plants - I hear the click of their upper window and they both come and start shouting a conversation at me.

I absolutely hate it. I feel as though they are spying on my every move!!

It's actually making me want to move house. There is no where I can sit in the garden without them leaning out and talking to me. This afternoon I would love to sit outside and read my book but if I do, they will start talking to me.

Aibu to be this wound up about it?

How sad for elderly (perhaps lonely) people when their neighbours begrudge just a few minutes chat. YABU

YANBU to be irritated but to hate them and want to move is really over the top.

We bought planters with trellising on the backs of them to create screening at the side of our decking for just this reason. We used to have the neighbours kids talking to us all the time we were out. They're lovely wee girls and it's nice to be nice but when you want peace and quiet and you can't get any then it can get quite exasperating so I really sympathise OP! I plant peas and beans in the spring to grow up the trellis so we have a bit of privacy in the summer months when we're sitting out. It's slightly easier to fob off kids though. I'd be inclined to come up with a wee white lie like I'm starting a wee course in x subject so you can't stay out chatting if you've just popped out for five mins to hang out washing as you've an assignment to do. If you want to relax and read a book in the garden tell them it's a course book and you need to read x chapters before next week (maybe have a wee notepad for authenticity lol). They should take the hint eventually. They sound like they're just a nice lonely old couple so I'd try and make my life easier without hurting their feelings too much if I were you OP.

Hmm, tricky. I'd suggest chat for a minute or two, then breezily say "well, I must get on, see you later" or words to that effect. Then walk away. If they carry on talking at you repeat " sorry, can't stop to chat, things to do" - then if they still persist in talking say "Bye"

If you want to read in peace tell them that you have been looking forward to a peaceful read in your garden all day/since yesterday, and do not engage in chat. Have headphones and put them on.

You may have to be pretty thick-skinned over this - but stand your ground.

(FWIW I have a similar problem at my allotment - one chap likes nothing more than to buttonhole you and does not take the hint. I do the above, then pick up my spade/hoe and move to the farthest point from him and start digging. He usually stands there for a minute watching me, then moves on to the next poor sod. I do feel sorry for him and will chat for a while, but if he had his way I'd get nothing done at all.)

Ho about some topless sunbathing? That might stop them peering over at you.

*How

I'd hate this. My garden is my haven. I'd be putting up trellis sharpish

It's lovely that the neighbours are friendly, but being accosted every time I went into the garden would send me garrity.

I used to live next door to a guy who did something similar. He was quite young but lacking in social skills and used to thrust fossils at me as a conversation piece every time I went into the garden. In the end I'd just call 'Hi Steve!' as soon as I saw him come out of the door, then turn my back and make it clear I was doing something until he went back inside. Occasionally, I'd stop for a chat but kept it relatively brief so he didn't think I was being rude. He got the message in the end and stopped coming out every time he saw me in the garden.

Maybe they're desperately trying to avoid having to talk to each other?

We're in a small terraced house too so us and our neighbours are in each others faces when in the garden. There's a balance that needs to be struck between being polite and friendly but not overbearing, sounds like your neighbours are far from mastering it.

Yanbu but it can't be worth moving house over, annoying nice neighbours can't be as bad as annoying horrid ones.

"used to thrust fossils at me as a conversation piece every time I went into the garden."

Am in tears of laughter over this phrase. (Very welcome so thanks).
Glad you managed to sort this out though.

Sympathies with OP. Would feel exactly the same.
About ten years ago I used to live near an older couple like this, only it was a flat and one of them seemed to be in the stairwell about 50% of the time I was going out or coming home. Knew I was rude not to like talking to them, but I was also just really irritated and felt like I was being ambushed. (Since then a relative has been diagnosed with Aspergers and I understand my annoyance more in the light of that, as having similar traits.) Wish I'd thought of the headphones back then, and worn them whenever I wasn't prepared for the chat, although going around wearing headphones wasn't quite as much of a thing as it became later.

In all seriousness, I would sunbathe topless. It will scare them.

Some people might call me "elderly". This would really get on my nerves. Fine to say "hello" but would like peace and quiet in my own garden.
I favour the very brief chat and "Well I must get on-want to finish my book/prune the roses". Then ignore.

What annoys me is that because they come out whenever I'm in the garden, I know they are watching all the time to try and 'ambush' me. They also comment all the tim:me: ooh you don't want to hang your skirts like that / you don't want to water that at this time of the day etc etc n

Oops posted too soon.

It does really annoy me but I agree they are just lonely etc. it's difficult as in very muc an introvert and with a houseful of family I used to enjoy having the peace of a garden to retreat to.

I like the idea of a gazebo but as soon as I was out the back door they would be shouting hello! I'd have to dig a tunnel to it...

Oh how annoying! Would you consider being honest with them and saying "If you want to chat we can arrange a time over a cuppa, but generally I come out here for a break from talking?" I'm an introvert and have found people need it to be pointed out to them. Often the chatty types assume everyone else is dying to chat.

I have a little summerhouse in my garden (sounds posh, but it isn't). It's only 6'x4' from BQ. I can hide in their all day.

When I moved into my new place the guy downstairs did this to me. I would pull up my car and he would come outside to ask me if I wanted tea. If I said no he would then knock on my door to ask if I needed something.
I started to ignore my door and he eventually took the hint but he got bitter and started banging on the wall at me at night or knocking to complain.
I just completely ignore him now. He tried to be nice a week ago by taking in my parcel I just took it and didn't say a word to him.
I should of said don't take in my parcels but I thought the blanking might be better.
I also saw him outside a few days ago and blanked him.
I'm happy not being on friendly terms with him since it gives me peace now.
Some people you just have to be negative towards or they won't take the hint.

The biggest one of these you can find?

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Could you say that, "Mentioning no names, but another neighbour of ours commented politely on our frequent, shouted chats and said they wanted to enjoy the birdsong and peace. So I apologised and said we'd try to catch up in a less intrusive way."

Then maybe talk to them over an occasional cuppa or pop over but have an alarm on your phone to do Something Vital

I would go with the headphones. My elderly neighbour was the same. She was deaf and she used to lean out of the window too. I was embarrassed by having to shout. I stopped hanging my washing out because she kept commenting on my underwear the lovely whiteness of my towels, how often I do the washing. I love my garden, but resorted to buying a large umbrella and hiding under it.

They sound lonely and looking for someone to talk to ... I would go down the nice route as mentioned pop round with a cake and say nicely could you please not call at me everytime I am in the garden as i do like just to relax some of the time.
On a positive note if ever robbers cane round they would see them!

yanbu. I feel the same way about my neighbours. If I say too them I must go because I need to do something they don't listen and keep talking for hours! I want to play with my son in the garden or sit and relax but I never get the chance to because I have to chat with the neighbours. So I am moving to somewhere with a more private garden. The garden is smaller but it is much more private.

My garden is also my haven but luckily very private....i would be annoyed if i was ambushed every time i went out to hang washing out..
i often sit out on a sunny afternoon with a cold drink and a good book....absolute bliss x