to miss London so much even though we live in the lovely town of Horsham? :-(

[Lostandlostsomemore]

Everyone keeps telling me I'm mental.
We were living in a tiny 2 bed house ( with 2 toddlers ) with a patio in sutton and now live in a 2 double bed house with a massive garden and drive for the same price ( renting ) but I just miss London.
Well Sutton to be exact.
I know it had it's problems, schools were a major concern for me as they were all 3 intakes a year and some were struggling with the change of the amount of non English speaking children and we have the perfect school here for my daughter to start in September but it just doesn't feel right.
Everyone is very well off and are always astounded that at 33 I'm still renting but that's the card I was dealt so no point moaning about it. I hate having to drive everywhere, even into town is 2 miles so too long for the 3 year old to walk unless I have an hour to do it with all the stopping and starting.
Even parks aren't close together so you find yourself driving from one to another so we are spending way more than we were in petrol plus my husband lost London weighting so weighed up we are worse off financially.
Luckily I've found a part time evening job to top us up however that just feels like I'm missing time at home to accommodate this new life that I hate anyway.
My husband doesn't want to go back now, crime rate / gangs as a few stabbings happened just before we moved last year and really enjoys the green space / fishing etc which growing up in battersea I'm not used to nor do I like!
Biggest problem is obviously all school allocations have now been made so the school we would get if any would be terrible no doubt and we are signed into a tenancy until December so it's all just a massive mess.

Oh maybe you'd feel better if you had some people to do things with? My ds is 7 now but I have plenty of friends with younger dc and I'm average company and like coffee wine. Pm me and we can sort something! Honestly most people round here are really lovely and friendly, it just takes someone to introduce you.

I used to live near Littlehaven station and it was still a do-able walk (or quick bus ride) into town. Having said that, couldn't live in the South East now - it feels weirder every time I head back down! So expensive, really bland, loads of traffic and just a different way of life.

I live in Horsham and don't recognise it from your description. I think you're exaggerating ever so slightly. I'm not from here and come from a multi cultural city, which is very different to Horsham. But there are certainly people living here from other cultures and I have made lots of friends through joining clubs and local groups.

The cinema in Horsham is much cheaper than the Crawley one and more pleasant. You can get the train easily up and down to London or Brighton.

I also get the very frequent bus everywhere so don't drive a lot. The same bus that goes to north Horsham where you live.

I think you're being a bit dramatic. Perhaps take a deep breath and put some plans in place to move back to London Sutton and you'll feel a bit happier. In the meantime why not join a local group, people are pretty friendly.

I hear you on the hospital though! I'm due to give birth any day and the 45 min journey to redhill is making me very nervous!

Oh and I rent, as do most of my neighbours. Not heard anyone be snobby about it

I rent to, I'm broadbridge Heath way. I hate how far the hospital is to! Bloody ridiculous

:) mrsgrinch I've got visions of me giving birth on the A24!

Seriously though OP I do know what it's like to feel trapped and unhappy in a new area but do try to see if you can meet some people and give it your best shot. If it doesn't work out then at least you tried.

In the meantime if you want coffee buddies there are a few on this thread

It's scary! I made it to hospital with ds thank god.

Op how long have you been there? Have you had a chance to make any friends or build a social life at all yet? Moving is hard, I've had to do it a lot and it does take time to settle. When your dd starts school in September you will meet other parents and perhaps settle into your routines a bit. I know the feeling but hang on a bit as it takes a while. Also horsham is quite nice!

I live near Sutton and often pop in to have a wander round the shops.

Whoever said that the education locally can be iffy is definitely wrong. I had to queue in Wilkinson's for 15 minutes last week, and by the time I got to the till I was an expert on the prison visiting system.

Moved in December.
I'm really not exaggerating honestly, everything I've said is exactly how it's happened :(
I don't want to feel like this, I would love to be happy here.
It makes sense to be happy here.
The school is lovely, my mums moving to the coast so I'm a lot closer here than I would be back in Sutton, my husband thinks it's nicer for the kids etc, I don't want to be miserable.
We have been saving like mad, overtime for my husband and Lots of evening shifts for me so if another house does come up around here in December we can move as I don't think the distance to the town and the unfriendly neighbours will help me settle.
It's very much a close here so everyone knows everyone so it's very easy to feel excluded if nobody says hello I guess.
I have no idea how to pm people but would be up for the coffee 100% if anyone would like to!

Sometimes I wonder if it's the renting side of things that make it very hard to settle as in the back of my mind I'm always waiting for the dreaded notice.
The difference with Sutton was that if that happened I knew all the agents / places to avoid / school catchment areas / friends to stay with if it all went horribly wrong and here I have none of that.

Presumably you knew the school would be the opposite side of town, and there would be others nearer. Tbh I suspect you are somewhat romanticising Sutton and the life you remember. There is a walkin clinic and some outpatient services in Crawley but yes most services are run from Redhill now. Maybe working will help you establish yourself better locally.

I do feel for you OP, a friend of mine moved 10 minutes away, and woke up crying next day wanting to go home. She likened it to terrible home sickness and moved back to her old road a few years later and was happy again.

I keep putting off moving in case it happens to me.

I read somewhere that moving from one side of the river to the other in London can be more traumatic than changing countries.

Horsham is very different to Sutton, sounds like some bits might suit you better, if you can meet up with some of the mums on here that would be brilliant. Good luck.

As an aside where is the new Waitrose/JL Home. We usually shop there a couple of times a year as the centre has a nice range of stores and is compact. Free parking on Sundays too.

Where is your mum moving to? The Sussex coast is lovely. I'm in Worthing and highly recommend it.

I did know the school was town side I jus didn't realise how annoying it would be having to drive every day.
As I said I passed my test at 19 and never even bought a car until the week before we moved here!
There was just no need for it as we did the far away stuff, farms and what not when my husband wasn't working so it would have just been an added expense.
Although with my mum moving I guess it would have either happened or I would have been doing a long old train journey every fortnight with 2 young kids.
I am working, but only evenings as that way we don't need to pay for childcare.
To the renters on here, are there many rentals?? I hardly ever see 3 beds coming up and when they do they are very large ones so reaching £1400 a month :(

Mum will be selsey

OP have you tried Southwater for cheaper rent? Bus goes every 15 mins to and from town and rent is about £200pcm cheaper than in town. Nice villagey feel to it.

Unfortunately for 3 decent sized bedrooms I'd say £1200pcm is normal round here. I rented house 1 dbl and 2 singles in town for £1000 a couple of years ago but it'll have gone up.

I honestly think if you make some friends you'll feel a bit better. I don't love it here and won't stay forever but it's nice and I've made some lovely friends so we are content for now.

Some great family events too. sparks in the park is on this weekend so don't miss that.

To PM people click on the arrow to the right of someone's post and you'll get option to private message

We were thinking of moving to crawley not that long ago as oh works there.it seem to have a really good shopping town and great facilities.horsham would be too much of a culture shock as seems much too isolated.ive been spoilt being able to walk into town and having everything on my doorstep.
We live near sutton common and I can tell you for a fact sutton has no gangs.mitcham/croydon do and unfortunately do "spread out".sutton also has a low crime rate.a friend of ours used to work for sutton police and has now moved to somewhere more "active".
I also went to st phils.im sure girls get pregnant in most schools.i don't think there was any "cover up".Maybe I was in the wrong year group!
Maybe once your children start school you will start to feel more settled.my son unfortunately was one of those kids that didn't get into any of his four choices.we have since been told as a child with asd that there are no sen places in the sen schools and that his current school is too big for him as has a 90 yr group! If I felt we would have a smooth move to crawley I would be off like a shot.
Would not recommend bognor.i lived there for a bit and although I loved it I wouldn't want to raise a family there.

LIZS The new John Lewis is on Albion Way, towards the Staples and Currys.
It's vast.
Horsham is a great town but it's expanding too fast. Wickhurst Green is going to swap the amenities that side of town.

OP I feel for you. There are many areas of England I would not move to or even visit as we are not white. Culturally and verbally we are completely English, both lawyers, both as British as they come, but are often not accepted outside major cities. The conscious or sub conscious exclusion can be quite upsetting. You can become hyper aware of it. My family and I are in london and will stay here.

I used to live in Morden (the St Helier part - hated it incidentally!) and although my knowledge of Sutton doesn't extend much further than the town centre, where I spent a LOT of time, I'm amazed you miss it. I mean, how you feel is how you feel, but it's not the nicest place. And it definitely ain't London

Waves to all Horsham-ites.

Waves my green grots at Lainey.