to miss London so much even though we live in the lovely town of Horsham? :-(

[Lostandlostsomemore]

Everyone keeps telling me I'm mental.
We were living in a tiny 2 bed house ( with 2 toddlers ) with a patio in sutton and now live in a 2 double bed house with a massive garden and drive for the same price ( renting ) but I just miss London.
Well Sutton to be exact.
I know it had it's problems, schools were a major concern for me as they were all 3 intakes a year and some were struggling with the change of the amount of non English speaking children and we have the perfect school here for my daughter to start in September but it just doesn't feel right.
Everyone is very well off and are always astounded that at 33 I'm still renting but that's the card I was dealt so no point moaning about it. I hate having to drive everywhere, even into town is 2 miles so too long for the 3 year old to walk unless I have an hour to do it with all the stopping and starting.
Even parks aren't close together so you find yourself driving from one to another so we are spending way more than we were in petrol plus my husband lost London weighting so weighed up we are worse off financially.
Luckily I've found a part time evening job to top us up however that just feels like I'm missing time at home to accommodate this new life that I hate anyway.
My husband doesn't want to go back now, crime rate / gangs as a few stabbings happened just before we moved last year and really enjoys the green space / fishing etc which growing up in battersea I'm not used to nor do I like!
Biggest problem is obviously all school allocations have now been made so the school we would get if any would be terrible no doubt and we are signed into a tenancy until December so it's all just a massive mess.

It was a bit grim but we were down the road ( Sutton common ) so not in Sutton town centre.
Maybe I'm just hanging onto the familiarity where I knew everything I needed to, schools etc.
neoughboirs here haven't even spoken to us there are no children other than ours in the whole close.

Why would I make up racist comments? How idiotic.
And moving to bognor is an even weirder suggestion!

Sutton borough has some of the top state schools in the country OP. People overlook any other issues and move to Sutton for the schools. And Sutton isn't really London is it? It's a London borough yes but it's Surrey.

I can see why Horsham would have appealed but I think you've made a mistake, on the schools issue alone.

I've thought of a solution. Move to Crawley

I do not really see much difference between living in Sutton and living in Horsham tbh.

msgrinch

I absolutely love horsham; I don;t live there but go for the shops, the cafes, the park, the pool and gym,the bowling, the architecture, the history, the quiet...

Sutton, OTOH, is a hole. Grim, filthy, unfriendly, brutalist, horrible. And i used to live there.

You obvs feel the opposite, somehow, OP, so I suggest you just move back.

Why did you not move to Carshalton or Wallington - just down the road from Sutton but much nicer

I feel for you op. I live in London and I sometimes wonder if we should move out so we can live somewhere bigger as we don't have enough space at the moment. I love living in London so I'd be very unhappy to leave. And I worry that any savings would be quick used up by car costs as we don't have a car currently.

Never say never about moving back. In the meantime try and make the most of it and think about the positives. Make a list of the things that are better. Cleaner air? Closer to the seaside?

The markets on in town today op, that's quite fun to look around. I think they may even have a band on today as well. tries to be helpful

I must say IME Horsham is probably the dullest town in the South East,
my children got bored there and we were only there for the day.

Carshalton, unless the beeches side is mainly just the massive st helier estate so catchment schools would have been bad.
Sutton grammar schools are obviously brilliant but the other Sutton schools not so much, I went to st phils and whilst lots of kids did very well that was mainly down to the parents they had, there were also lots of underage pregnancies, abortion cover ups as catholic obviously etc.
I think the happy medium would have been moving to somewhere like Banstead / leatherhead way where I wouldn't have had to drive ( can't get used to that as passed at 19 but never drove until December when we moved here! ) but we got smaller schools and a nicer environment for the kids growing up. Just a shame on our £1000 budget a month all we could afford was a 1 bed flat that way!

Sutton isnt London! it's a grotty bit of Surrey.

Ooh I went to St Phils too - is a very good school but as you say lots of pregnancies - probably because lessons about contraception were given by a nun who's only advice was "the best form of contraception is to say no"! Although to be fair that is technically correct.

It can be hard to get used to a new place. We're all different. I have lived rurally and loved the peace and quiet but loathed the need to drive everywhere. I also disliked the small minded attitudes, not prevalent in all country locations but certainly where I lived. It was unbelievably boring as a teenager.

I live in a small city now and absolutely love it. I walk everywhere, there's loads going on and it's a comfortable place for my slightly unusual family. I enjoy the countryside for holidays now! I guess you'll have to choose what's most important to you all as a family. Is it the great school? Having a larger garden? Or is it your day to day quality of life? The trouble is your DH likes it so maybe you could move somewhere that is a compromise between the two?

My husband grew up in leatherhead so that's where we would have gone if we could have afforded it as he's familiar with it, schools good and only up the road from Sutton where I grew up.
I don't blame my mum, I'm in my 30s however she is incredibly needy and would not have moved for her retirement if I was still in Sutton it's just what she's like and then would have moaned for ever more about being stuck there.
We won't get a primary school now for our daughter anywhere else so we are screwed now anyway :( until secondary at least.

I agree that Sutton is barely London.

I feel for you. One of my close friends is about to move back to London with her Dd for similar reasons. It's possible that you could get your dd a place midway through the year somewhere else though.

So I'm not the only one??
Everyone I've spoken to has looked at me as I've committed murder.
I do love the school she got, 28 kids per year, lovely small feel to it. Exactly what I wanted...if only I could pick it up and move it!

I couldn't live in Horsham, I just don't like the feel of the place, but each to their own. If you're renting and your children are young you're in a good position to keep looking for that place that feels like home. Have a few day trips out and see where takes your fancy.

It sounds like you are comparing a house with a good location in Sutton to living in a more isilated bit of Horsham, not like with like. Most of your complaints are about that and not the town itself. Is there not a better place in Horsham you can move to, where things are in walking distance?

You also need to make more effort.

I live in Sutton (moved from Battersea funnily enough), and as many of the posters have said, you can't class that as London.

You also haven't given Horsham a chance as its only been a short while since you moved. Can I ask, did you research where to live in terms of convenience for shops, parks etc etc.

Plus you're looking at Sutton with rose tinted spectacles. Apart from the fantastic grammar schools that people are so desperate to get their children into, there's not a lot else going on. Nearly all the primary schools are ever expanding. My DCs one form per year primary (All Saints Carshalton) is now 3 form entry I think, with 30+ children; so your Horsham school with 28 is amazing.

The high street is dying on its feet; as its mostly pound shops, betting shops , nail bars and the odd low end chain store. It will completely curl up and die once Croydon gets its Westfield.

Look for the positive in Horsham and you may end up feeling differently.

What area are you in if it's a 2 mile walk into town? Why not move to somewhere more central? I used to live in a lovely flat off Hurst Road and it was lovely to be so close to the park and the shops.

We've moved to a village outside town now and have to drive everywhere but it's beautiful here so worth it.

Oh yeah this isn't the perfect location but school application deadline was looming so we ran out of time!
So now stuck here until end of December and obviously have to just hope something in that month that is more central comes up