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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed when told 'ahhh look'

48 replies

Hypotenuse · 10/07/2015 18:17

Is this a saying? When someone says 'ahhhh look at her' about my own child am I supposed to stop and look? How long for? How often in one conversation should I respond to 'ahhhh look' with just politely looking before I can flip my shit and say something like:

I am with her 24 hours a day and I look at her all the time and you're asking me to look at her over and over again while she is just sitting there, and I know she's cute but my god, I hate being told to look all the time.

Is Ms Manners here? What is the appropriate response to this? Is this a common saying where you are, am I taking it too literally? Please help.

OP posts:
thecatsarecrazy · 10/07/2015 18:22

YABU

Tutteredboast · 10/07/2015 18:23

Yes, you do need Ms Manners, stop being Mrs Literal.
Really, people are just being nice and trying to have a pleasant interaction with you.

FarFromAnyRoad · 10/07/2015 18:24

Serious overreaction. It's conversation, it's harmless, it's complimentary and the alternative is people recoiling in horror from your child.
You sound ever so tired - are you?

Original poster
Hypotenuse · 10/07/2015 18:27

I take things really literally, phrases like this really throw me off. What am I supposed to do? Why do people say it several times in one conversation?

Yes AnyRoad. So so so tired.

OP posts:
CrystalHaze · 10/07/2015 18:28

You're not so much being unreasonable as being bloody ridiculous.

There are hundreds of terms of figurative speech used everyday that are nothing more than conversational supports. They are very obviously not literal commands.

hotlikeme · 10/07/2015 18:29

Smile and nod, smile and nod. ....

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/07/2015 18:31

It's just a natural thing you say when you see something cute. Like a puppy it a baby.
People are being polite.

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 10/07/2015 18:32

I understand. I hate being told to look like that. It's never anything which doesn't happen a million times a day. I think as a phrase it should be kept for the genuinely one off occasions - like when a passing magpie lands on the child's head and deposits the crown jewels onto its head, having just performed an elaborate heist on the Tower of London. Or something. I'm also quite literal, OP Grin

Original poster
Hypotenuse · 10/07/2015 18:35

Oh thank lord sheep I was just considering checking in to the hospital.

It's not strangers, it's family. Repeatedly telling me to 'look' over one visit. I feel so uncomfortable, I just sit and look!

OP posts:
cakeandcustard · 10/07/2015 18:41

YANBU I totally get where you're coming from. Its worse when coming from DH ... 'Ahh look, she's sitting up' Yes, I know, I've just spent the last 8 hours with her, she does a lot of sitting up! Unfortunately your only recourse is to smile an nod, find your happy place and indulge them ... or organise yourself a day off Smile

Original poster
Hypotenuse · 10/07/2015 18:55

That's completely how I feel. Funnily enough my DH said it right before I wrote this post cakeandcustard although he doesn't usually, because he knows I get so put out by it.

If it was polite chit chat with a stranger or acquaintance I'd understand. Those conversations are always full of weird sayings. But why do family torture me this way.

OP posts:
HerrenaHarridan · 10/07/2015 18:59

My mum does this abs it drives be bonkers.

Especially when it's 4/5 times in a few mins and I'm trying to tell her something important

MrsTedCrilly · 10/07/2015 19:02
TheOriginalWinkly · 10/07/2015 19:03

They think your child is being adorable and want to share the adorable moment with you. They don't know that it's an ordinary moment to you. They're being nice, and interested in your child.

Original poster
Hypotenuse · 10/07/2015 19:04

MrsTed see Jeremy Kyle doesn't know what to do either when told to 'look at her'.

OP posts:
CuthbertDibble · 10/07/2015 19:08

They're family/friends, they're enjoying your children, admittedly they probably don't spend nearly as much time with them as you, bit it's definitely a compliment. 'Aaah look' they're so cute and lovely, you must be a great parent :)

PiratesLifeForMe · 10/07/2015 19:10

Ugh, awful boring people trying to be nice about your child. What bastards! ????

Original poster
Hypotenuse · 10/07/2015 19:10

That helps actually cuthbert, if I think of it as 'you fantastic parent look what you've created!'

Rather than 'look at your own child who you see all the time sitting there on your knee dribbling slightly and possibly smiling. Now look again. And again.'

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 10/07/2015 19:16

"Would you look at that/her/him" is an expression used as a term of affection, it isn't literal.

It's a way of saying what/who you're looking at is fab/gorgeous without coming across as cross as creepy/inappropriate.

It's similar to "a sight for sore eyes".

ApocalypseThen · 10/07/2015 19:30

I must confess I do this. I love children and I think sometimes parents feel like people don't take notice of their kids and appreciate how lovely they are. That's all I ever mean to do, delight in the specialness of the delightful children and let the parents who work so hard know that others can see the wonder of the tinies.

MamaLazarou · 10/07/2015 19:33

YABU and a bit weird, TBH.

Original poster
Hypotenuse · 10/07/2015 19:35

Apocalypse that's a lovely thing to do, what a kind person you must be to think of doing that.

I definitely feel like some specific praise directed my way would go down very well. When people say something about her breastfeeding or being cuddled a lot, or say 'she's got the best seat in the house' when she's in a sling on me, it makes my heart swell. But 'look' makes me just errr... Look. In a baffled fashion. Perhaps it's because I wonder if she has bogies on her face or something and you're just trying to quietly point it out?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hypotenuse · 10/07/2015 19:36

Weird. Grin

OP posts:
FraggleHair · 10/07/2015 19:38

ah look = oh s/he's so cute.

That's all.

ByTheNine · 10/07/2015 19:39

No, I'm totally with you here OP. My MIL does this all the time, with the pinnacle of her inanity being "Ahh, look at her looking" as though DD's eyes have got lasers coming out of them or something.