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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate it that people say "yes" when I ask how they are.

28 replies

sweetgrape · 10/07/2015 11:59

It's become so common place now that it seems to be the norm.
If I say to someone "how are you" or "how're you doing" or something similar they invariably answer "yes I'm good thanks" or "yes I'm fine".
What is the "yes" for? I know it might make me sound trivial and pedantic but I hate it. People didn't used to speak that way. I think Eastenders started it off and now it seems the whole world does it. AIBU?

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 10/07/2015 12:04

It's just small talk. They expected you to say "Are you all right?" and the answer is out of their mouth without really processing the question. I don't think you can blame Eastenders.

Snozberry · 10/07/2015 12:05

A lot of people say "alright?" as a greeting so perhaps the yes thing is a standard response to that and gets used all the time no matter what the first hello is?? I don't know. Sometimes "alright?" is answered with another "alright?" and I find that weird. Greetings seem to all be weird and mean nothing.

EatShitDerek · 10/07/2015 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sweetgrape · 10/07/2015 12:06

Yes but Shatners I have received answers in this way on emails and texts so that can't really apply.

OP posts:
WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 10/07/2015 12:12

If you want it to be how people used to speak, you should say How do you do? to which the response is the same in return!

ShatnersBassoon · 10/07/2015 12:14

It does apply. They quickly read that you're asking after them, and it doesn't really matter enough to go back and check if it was an "All right?" or a "how are you?"

gamerchick · 10/07/2015 12:14

Would you prefer the truth instead? Piles playing up/kids up all night vomiting/cant afford some bill etc.

If you go through a day of truth so you feel like slitting your throat at the end of it you probably wouldn't care about the yes. Grin

Original poster
sweetgrape · 10/07/2015 12:32

The answer I would expect if they are alright is..."I'm fine thanks", the word "yes" is surplus to requirements. It is a new thing. You only have to look at repeats of programmes from the 80s, 70s and beyond to know this.

OP posts:
SirPercyPilkington · 10/07/2015 12:33

I am beyond amused that Eastenders is getting the blame for this Grin

Yes, I'm fine, thanks for asking.

Ledare · 10/07/2015 12:40

But "yes" isn't an answer to "HOW do you do?" either.

It's wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

I haven't noticed this thankfully but it's a slippery slpoe Shock

Can we expect, "how does the earth rotate on its axis? Yes, it..."

Kumiho · 10/07/2015 12:40

Maybe just stop asking people 'how are you', as it's a fake question - you don't really want to know.

I really dislike "Are you alright?" as a greeting. Growing up that phrase meant only that you were displaying some sign of injury, not 'hello'. The answer doesn't come naturally to me. Of course I'm alright.

Ledare · 10/07/2015 12:42

"Slippery slpoe" Grin

Also wrong. I've just come in from the sunshine and my lenses haven't adjusted.

RepeatAdNauseum · 10/07/2015 12:48

Maybe it's just how they process the question? However you ask (how are you, are you alright, etc), you're really asking if they are okay.

So in their head, they think "Am I okay?" - yeah I'm fine, or no I'm not.

I don't think it's an Eastenders thing.

Original poster
sweetgrape · 10/07/2015 12:53

I recently watched some old Coronation St episodes Blush, and noted that nobody answered an "how are you" type question with a "yes". It's definitely a new thing and I'm certain that Eastenders started it off just as The only way is Essex seems to have started off awful phrases such as "mugging me off" and "I swear down",. I wish it didn't bother me so much but it does. Angry

OP posts:
Getthewonderwebout · 10/07/2015 12:56

I swear down has been used loads in emmerdale. Watch some old eps of that.

sillybillymilly · 10/07/2015 13:03

My bugbear is the word 'man' at the end of a sentence ggrrrrrr .. thats in Eastenders too

TheWernethWife · 10/07/2015 14:04

Agree with Kumiho - fed up of going into shops and being greeted with "Yallright" or even worse "Yallrighthere" - so bloody rude imo. This usually takes place when I've literally just taken a few steps into the shop, give me a chance to look round first, went into Next last week and I was approached three times in five minutes wtf. Store/shop managers take note.

SaucyJack · 10/07/2015 14:12

Yeah, YABU.

Yeah, every sentence starts with yeah dahn Sahf.

Like, innit.

Gruntfuttock · 10/07/2015 14:27

One thing that really winds me up is people who say "Yes no" in response to a question, when they mean "Yes". I have heard it a lot in programmes such as Escape to the Country. The presenter will ask the househunter something like "Is this kitchen large enough for you?" or "Do you like the garden " and almost every time, the reply will be "Yes no, it's a fantastic size" or "Yes no, it's perfect". I have never heard a man do that, btw, it's always women. If there's anyone here who does it, will you please explain why?

Original poster
sweetgrape · 10/07/2015 15:22

Thewernethwife that annoys me too. Do they not realise that it puts customers off browsing. If we want help we'll ask for it, otherwise leave us alone and let us browse in peace. I can't understand why they wouldn't realize how off putting it is, they must shop too.

OP posts:
SunnyBaudelaire · 10/07/2015 15:26

" fed up of going into shops and being greeted with "Yallright" or even worse "Yallrighthere" "

I do hate that, when you go into a café or bar or shop and the assistant says 'are you all right there?' - it is so fucking annoying! What don't I LOOK 'all right'? What are you saying? do I look a bit loony or something?

Worst of all was my Sister's boyf saying it to me as an introductory greeting. OK he did work in a phone shop but still.

Now I tend to say...um yes are you all right there too?

CrohnicallyAspie · 10/07/2015 15:34

We used 'swear down' in primary school so over 20 years ago now. Don't think you can blame TOWIE for that!

Gruntfuttock · 10/07/2015 15:35

Has anyone noticed how many young men e.g. shop assistants, delivery men, don't say "Bye", but "See you later"? Confused I think that's weird, but so many do it.

Theycallmemellowjello · 10/07/2015 15:40

sweetgrape - why on earth are you opposed to language changing? of course no one speaks like it's 1970 now...

MagpieCursedTea · 10/07/2015 15:43

The correct exchange is

"Alreet?"

"Aye"

Maybe that's just up here though... Grin