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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refused entry to school music evening

109 replies

squareheadcut · 10/07/2015 10:01

my son plays violin been practising concert piece for ages. It said in weekly newsletter (in small writing amongst a million other things) that we needed to get tickets Monday. I didn't. I forgot. I also thought the music evening was on Friday not Thursday. So I'm a full time working parent with a million things to remember.
So we get there last night without our 3 pound ticket and are refused entry along with 5 or 6 other parents.
The teacher said there was no space but when we went in towards the end there was plenty of space.
So AIBU to complain about :

  1. Not getting a reminder text msg about the music evening
  2. Being refused entry - this is a school event for community surely?
  3. Having to buy a ticket anyway
  4. Expecting children to sit in a stuffy hall for 3 hours while they wait for everyone to finish playing.

I really feel like complaining bitterly as parents were never treated like this at my sons old school. My reference points might be off.

OP posts:
TheOriginalSteamingNit · 10/07/2015 10:32

Unreasonable.

  1. Not getting a reminder text msg about the music evening text reminders can be helpful, but you're not owed them
  2. Being refused entry - this is a school event for community surely? A school event for school, surely? For parents who bought tickets?
  3. Having to buy a ticket anyway but that's totally normal. Why not?
  4. Expecting children to sit in a stuffy hall for 3 hours while they wait for everyone to finish playing. *That's what a concert is. Don't bring your child up not to see it as 'waiting for everyone to finish playing' - they were waiting for him to finish too!

I think you're being hugely unreasonable, entitled and illogical. You messed this one up - stop trying to blame the school.

Chewbecca · 10/07/2015 10:34

Sorry you missed it but YABU.

I don't want school to spend their precious £££s on text messages, cross checking who has/hasn't bought a ticket, staffing the door so people can pay on the day. They've got better things to do than mop up where parents cannot organise themselves.

ghostyslovesheep · 10/07/2015 10:36

in a word - yes! yabu

Nanny0gg · 10/07/2015 10:37

Get a diary and calendar and fill them in and read them religiously.

HTH.

Getthewonderwebout · 10/07/2015 10:38

You fucked up. Don't make excuses for your own cock up and try and palm the blame on the school.

ilovesooty · 10/07/2015 10:40

You screwed up. Of course you're BU.

echt · 10/07/2015 10:42

YABU for 1, 2 and 3.

But especially, for……

4. Expecting children to sit in a stuffy hall for 3 hours while they wait for everyone to finish playing.

I fucking hate the rude parents who only stick around for their kids to perform/get awards, etc. I am a teacher who sits through the whole thang and has my game face on. Because that's what you do.

Mia1415 · 10/07/2015 10:46

I'm sorry but you are being completely unreasonable. Most of us have busy lives & juggle work & children but you have to find a way to organise yourself & not blame others if you miss something

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 10/07/2015 10:49

It said in weekly newsletter (in small writing amongst a million other things) that we needed to get tickets Monday. I didn't. I forgot.I also thought the music evening was on Friday not Thursday

This right here is the thing that happened that meant you missed the concert. Everything else is you flailing about looking for other people to blame. I can totally sympathise with slipping up - we've all done it. But have the grace to realise whose fault this is, and stop being so unreasonable.

AuntyMag10 · 10/07/2015 10:49

Yabu, complaining about it will only highlight how disorganized you are and stupid for then bringing it to everyone's attention. As many other working parents were able to remember so could you.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 10/07/2015 10:58

I think texts to the whole parent list are incredibly expensive abs should perhaps be used for immensely important items or emergencies, rather than something that has been already mentioned in the newsletter. Schools are running to tight budgets, ime, there are far more important things to spend that text money on.

Oliversmumsarmy · 10/07/2015 11:18

I feel for you op I have a million things going on each day and am usually like you missing the lines that say important stuff in school news letters. I have a network of friends who call me and help me out because they know what I am like. (Not diagnosed but I think I am dyslexic, I have 1 confirmed and 1 yet to be confirmed dyslexic children)

Once dd was in a ballet show. The tickets for the show were only sold between 5pm-5.30pm each weekday evening. Dd got off her train in another town at 5.10pm so we had 20 minutes to get from one town to another, to park the car, and run in to buy the tickets. We managed it once to arrive at 5.31pm, the woman was just shutting the metal money and ticket box. She refused to let me buy a ticket. Her reply was if you cannot get here on time then you won't be seeing the show. Dd never went back.

bstokegirl · 10/07/2015 11:19

I don't think you are being unreasonable, life is busy, print is small. Yes it is better for everyone if the tickets are bought in advance, but is a total nightmare when you have many other commitments to be juggled and your aren't even sure you can make it anyway. My kids' school has a big Christmas concert, free entry but lots of kids holding violin cases afterwards with a suggested donation. Most people seem to drop large notes in - middle class area, music standard high.

I was late to the last ticketted event and they'd stopped taking money - free entry, I wasn't too upset.

Teabagbeforemilk · 10/07/2015 11:19

I am working mum with 2 kids and a million other things to do. If I mess up, I mess up. I don't go whinging to the school that I messed up and they should have done more to make sure I didn't mess up.

CatMilkMan · 10/07/2015 11:23

Sorry OP, Yabu.

kissmethere · 10/07/2015 11:27

Yep yabu.
Don't blame the school and ffs how much more I for did you need. They sold out of tickets which suggests everyone else who was there managed to organise themselves and the little piece of paper with tiny writing worked out fine for them.
Get over yourself.

SwearySwearyQuiteContrary · 10/07/2015 11:29

These things are ticketed so that the school can be certain of numbers for fire regulations, not to piss parents off. You forgot, it happens. Not down to the school to remind you or fix it for you, though.

Namechangenell · 10/07/2015 11:43

You did mess up. However, good will works two ways. Surely there's no obligation for you to take him back to school for an evening concert? When the school doesn't have enough people to host a concert as the parents are all pissed off at having to pay and being treated like this, maybe they'll rethink.

Baddz · 10/07/2015 11:50

Erm...well I am a sahm with quite a lot on and I forget stuff sometimes too.
Just chalk it up to experience me and move on, surely?

butterfly133 · 10/07/2015 12:00

OP, YABComedyLevelsofU

is this a spoof?!

the bit about all the children having to sit in a stuffy hall particularly made me laugh. Who'd be a teacher with this kind of stuff to deal with?

As for you being very busy - aren't we all. The reason why there were spaces when you went in might well be because some people left early by the way. Bit of logic applied there.

as for the reminder text - if you can't run your own calendar, hire a private secretary.

Azquilith · 10/07/2015 12:11
Biscuit
MrsHende · 10/07/2015 12:13

Wow! The feelings here are clear!

I must admit, as a teacher, there would have to be pretty exceptional circumstances for me to refuse a parent entry to a concert their child was performing in. Yes, you should have done as the school asked but , as you said in the OP, you didn't. We're all human and I feel like some of the above posters are being quite harsh.

However, for point number 4, you are being unreasonable - how horrid for the children performing last to only have their own family left in the audience!!!

ChampagneBabyCakes · 10/07/2015 12:15

Most of the other parents who bought tickets are probably full time working parents with a million things to do - AND most of the teachers are too.

You messed up, we all do. The school didn't need to organize this evening event - they did it to enrich the lives of the pupils. To give your child motivation and a goal.

You made a simple mistake, and now you want to blame the school?

Also, if you complain saying that it's unreasonable for your son to sit three hours and listen to the others, don't expect him to be in any more concerts! If he can't listen to the others, why should they listen to him?

diddl · 10/07/2015 12:23

"I really feel like complaining bitterly as parents were never treated like this at my sons old school."

Treated like what?

Adults who don't need constantly reminding about something?

Who should understand that you don't get in without a ticket??

MythicalKings · 10/07/2015 12:27

YABVU.

You expected the school to text you a reminder?

Unbelievable.