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To feel slightly offended?

76 replies

RosesandRugby · 09/07/2015 16:05

I'm on the school ptfa. Today we had an outdoor event at school where everyone was invited to watch their DC. I helped set up tables and chairs at the beginning and to supervise the children during the event. I have all the usual disclosures required for supervising the children at the school as does my DH.

At the end of the event all the children were permitted home early and I helped to stack chairs and tables while the children got their bags. Once all the parents and children had left myself and my DH started to make our way to the doors of the hall to return all the chairs etc. it's something we have done dozens of times but this time a member of staff shuts and locks the door in our faces and shouts through the door that parents are not permitted on the premises. I pointed out we had set up and helped run the event she pointed to a new sign that says no entry to unauthorised personnel and she refused to open the door. Confused

My DH said that if they're going to be like that then they can put their own stuff away and we have left leaving 200 chairs and 50 tables outside. I'm feeling a little bit miffed to be honest especially given they were begging for help this morning.

Do you think I am BU to feel put out? I'm unsure if I ever want to help them out again now. Have they just had too much sun? I briefly mentioned it to the head and she said it's a safeguarding issue Hmm

OP posts:
Janette123 · 10/07/2015 08:27

This is am appalling way to treat volunteers.
I would write to the head and make a formal complaint as it sounds to me that she isn't taking your viewpoint seriously.
I would also tell her, in your letter, that in future you won't be helping out.

Things like this make me mad. Schools claim they want "parent involvement" and when they get it they forget you aren't getting paid and treat you like a lackey.

OhWotIsItThisTime · 10/07/2015 08:29

She was probably naked and had set up the hall as a porn dungeon.

AlpacaPicnic · 10/07/2015 20:01

So, Roses... Did you speak to anyone today? I'm sad and have no life curious as to their response?

CigarsofthePharoahs · 10/07/2015 20:40

Are the chairs and tables still outside?
Good grief! What a crazy thing to say!

RosesandRugby · 10/07/2015 21:13

Yes Alpaca I spoke to the head who has backed the member of staff 100%.

It was told I could have been anybody so it was a blanket ban on anyone entering the building.

I'm confused as I am clearly not anybody, I have told them I won't help anymore so that there are no further confusing situations where I could be mistaken for 'anybody' Hmm.
Maybe I'm being unreasonable withdrawing my help but I feel that 6 years of helping and giving up my time to help them obviously means so little to them that I may as well not bother anymore Sad

OP posts:
RosesandRugby · 10/07/2015 21:15

And the chairs and tables have been put away but the staff that had to do it have complained that they were left to do it alone Grin

OP posts:
Icimoi · 10/07/2015 21:23

How on earth can they say you could have been anyone? You're presumably a bona fide member of the PTFA, they signed you in, you had a badge: they can't possibly pretend they seriously thought you were some random off the street.

You're absolutely right to say you're not going to help any more. I hope you let the staff who had to put the stuff away know why you hadn't done it?

I'd love to know whether they plan to treat governors like this. After all, they could be anyone.

derxa · 10/07/2015 22:34

It could all have been handled so much better. Were you the only parents who were there to put away chairs?

AlpacaPicnic · 10/07/2015 22:35

Good grief! Well, if they don't want 'anybody' getting into the building then 'anybody' won't be around to help out anymore.
Ffs! Common sense. So goddamn rare, it out to be classed as a superpower.

I suppose, being very charitable, that it's nice that the head supports their member of staff but I certainly wouldn't be offering any more help. And I would tell other people why as well. Especially the teachers that moaned about having to put the chairs away...

AlpacaPicnic · 10/07/2015 22:36

*ought... Ought to be classed as a superpower...

Catmint · 10/07/2015 22:38

Sounds as if they have misinterpreted safeguarding good practice.

Hurtful to you, though.

Saz12 · 10/07/2015 22:39

Fuck 'em.
That's outrageously rude behaviour toward ANY parent, esp one who has given 6 YEARS of PT-fucking-A volunteering work (not of the moaning--on-a-committee variety, but actual WORK work).
Does that help? A drinks been had....

Nettymaniaa · 10/07/2015 22:43

Contact the school and tell them. That's a poor attitude. If all the children are offsite there should be no problem anyway. I would tell them in future they will get no more offers of help from you.

Nettymaniaa · 10/07/2015 22:46

Oh can see now the heads a big idiot too. I would send a brief but polite note saying you are disappointed in their attitude to parental partnership and although it is good to see the think they are taking safeguarding seriously they will get no more help.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 10/07/2015 23:21

If you volunteered 6 years of your time to help out at my school and I was the HT I think I would have given you a diamond encrusted pass which played the Hallelujah chorus every 10 seconds whilst employing small pixies to scatter rose petals at your feet.
This also goes for people who give up their time for scouts/guides etc.

shadypines · 10/07/2015 23:25

OP, poor you, this is one of those threads where you think 'did that really happen^ to someone?' it's so totally bizarre. Not to mention rude and ungrateful.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 11/07/2015 03:28

Hang on a second - you had badges on, didn't you? Proclaiming you as helpers? And the member of staff who locked you out was also the one who signed you in? So you couldn't have been "just anyone" UNLESS they're prone to handing out their badges to "just anyone", ditto signing in "just anyone" - in which case they seriously need to review their safeguarding policies from the top down.

Just tell the Head that, watch her tie herself in knots trying to wriggle out of that. Grin

kickassangel · 11/07/2015 03:51

Surely signing in and having your badge gave you the authorization? That is crazy. If they keep doing that they won't be able to run any events because they are effectively saying only teachers, who won't want to be shifting 200 chairs.

textfan · 11/07/2015 05:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrilliantDayForTheRace · 11/07/2015 05:52

Trouble is you still have to 'work with the school' as a parent all the time your DC have left there. IE homework, parent evenings, class assemblies.... And it's all been soured :(

My experience has been similar. They don't want parents to help. They prefer to use them as someone to blame if there are any problems with anything.

mamas12 · 11/07/2015 09:43

Wow that is rude and they have shot themselves in the foot haven't they because diesnt it mean the disbandment of the PTA? As you are all anyone then no one can help in school events anymore

mamas12 · 11/07/2015 09:47

Sorry pressed too soon
Have you spoken to the rest of the PTA? I think you should and put it in a way that it affects you all not just you and go to the head as a body to ask for clarification
Stop doing anything until you get it in black and white
That should give them food for thought as ime the PTA are a vital and valuable resourse for any school and they would be idiots to lose you

christinarossetti · 11/07/2015 09:54

Letting random people into the school is a safeguarding issue.

Letting in volunteers who have been signed in and have a badge especially whilst the children aren't actually there, is not. Especially if those people have been known to the school for 6 years.

Not explaining this to the volunteers in advance and then being rude to them is incredibly stupid and counter-productive.

If you were involved in getting the chairs and tables out and indeed needed to access the building in order to sign out and hand in your badge, it's beyond bonkers.

treaclesoda · 11/07/2015 10:00

That's horribly rude. And ridiculous. You were considered perfectly safe to help run an event, where presumably children were present, but it was a safeguarding issue to allow you, with an ID badge, into an empty school? What did they think you were going to do? Hide in a cupboard until Monday morning and then jump out and abduct all the kids?

When I helped with a big event at school recently the teachers were so grateful to the PTA that we were treated like royalty and the principal wrote us a personalised letter thanking us for the specific things we had helped with. He's nice.

clam · 11/07/2015 10:01

I've been teaching for many, many years and this sort of tale drives me to despair. What ridiculously stupid, short-sighted, over-the-top and not to mention unforgivably rude behaviour from the school. Whilst Heads are usually praised for backing their staff up, this is a prime example of someone who has misinterpreted the protocol.

I would be so pissed-off in your position, I think I would write a formal letter of complaint to the Head, Governing Body and the PTA committee. I actually think you are owed an apology.

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