Vent your extremely trivial irritations here (yes, WABU)

[JeanneDeMontbaston]

My neighbour is engaging in her daily chat right outside my door. She has a voice like someone strangling a duck, and she spends half her life having loud conversations in the middle of the street. Her daughter lives down the road and has the same voice, but half an octave higher and a bit louder.

She is also the most middle-class woman in the world and has now been talking for about twenty minutes about her front step and how it improves the look of the street.

She's very sweet, but her voice is going right through my head. What utterly unreasonable things are you irritated by today?

I live next to a bus stop (naice village not city). Someone has suddenly started locking their bike to my railings every day - I assume they are commuting to NearestTown via bus and cycling down the the bus stop. The bike is in the spot where I need to put my bins out. The railing is a teeny piece left over from some work we did and I am so annoyed I have arranged for scrap man to come and remove it on Monday. I have just taken great pleasure in writing a pissy note saying that the railing is being removed on Monday and can they remove the bike please...

My baby is 4 days old and everyone is texting to see egrn they can come to see him. I seem to be developing a cough but can't cough it hurts. My 2 older dc's have way too much energy

Hey, pinksuitcase, you had that baby yet????

Im tired even though I had an afternoon nap

NotOneIota - Squawky and the Weep Weeps would make an excellent annoying kids tv program! As long as it can have Pink-Pink the irritating blackbird and Kiyi the screechy red kite!

Today my annoyances are my stupid tablet that has something chewing up the memory so isn't working properly. Mumsnet especially wont behave so I am using the annoying laptop instead.
I have a migraine and nothing is working to shift the pain. I bet its my hormones.
I have a neighbour who isn't shouty, but if she gets you into a conversation you can't get out. She followed me into my front garden yesterday, rabbiting on about nothing much. Meanwhile my 4 year old has gone inside and is audibly causing trouble. Every time I tried to escape she'd carry on. I didn't want her following me inside.

I have just sat through an hour of waiting for my DS to do his gymnastics class in a village hall with a woman who kept talking to her toddler with an awful squeaky baby voice. I had the rage. A lot. And felt very unreasonable.

Dd has just text me to tell me her phone bill is £45 but she will give me £20 of my money, towards it

Drives me nuts. One of the mums in our extended group is a user. Always asking others to take / bring her DC to from scouts, football, dance etc. 'Hi would you mind bringing DC home from scouts? DH is out' etc. Never says 'I'll take if you bring back'. Borrows stuff but doesn't remember to give it back, even when asked etc.

But that's not what irks. What really annoys me is that the others get sucked in then bitch about her behind her back. Just say no! When she asked 'Is XX avoiding me?' tell her, then she can change her ways.

Ahhhh. Feel much better now! Thanks mumsnetters!

Serving gin in a teapot is try hard twee and stupid.

Also, just bring me my food on a fucking plate would ya. No-one ever said, wow you must try this place, they serve foods on slabs of slate/ blocks of wood...

Somebody stuck an "aloe vera will change your life" leaflet in my car door today. So I emailed and told them to fuck off.

A white van tailgated me so I phoned the number on the side and reported him to his boss.

DO. NOT. FUCK. WITH. ME.

Leftmy Hahahaha! Brilliant!

It took me over 2 bastarding hours to drive to work today (usually 45 minutes). I was jiggered and frazzled

Yesterday, I went to the recycling bit (outside of the Pay&Display bit) and of course there were the obligatory cars/vans parked there. It's RECYCLE not FREE BLOODY PARKING

My eye. It's been constantly watering on and off and itching for months. It washes off my eye make up.

Doctor didn't help, pharmacist and optician didn't help.
Every eye drop on the market hasnt helped.
I would quite like to stab my right eye out of its socket, it is annoying me so much.

People who take more than 30seconds at cash lines ffs! Card in, pin in, select cash, retrieve card, take cash....it's not hard but no faffing about getting a statement then standing reading it whilst everyone queues up behind the fucker! The machine should be set to electrocute anyone who faffs, a good ole shock would move them. Also folk who smoke in queue behind slow cask machine fuckwit, stop it I can't escape your fumes here and I'm going to stink of smoke, I want to push cigarette into their eye!

People who appear to use a supermarket for the first time ever. Put stuff on the conveyor belt, gormlessly stare at cashier scanning. When most is scanned they realise 'oh crap, I need to bag this stuff' and start agonisingly slowly. Gormless stare again followed by a start- what, oh shit, she wants money, now where is that wallet? Rummage in bag... meanwhile the people behind them have chainsaw massacre fantasies with the culprit in the role of victim. I know iabu.

DH watching a TV programme in standard definition when we have the channel in HD. Pisses me right off. I know IABU!

What happened on the show?! My telly can't receive channel 4 (another irritation).

When people call their children stupid cutesy-pie names like princess or change the spelling of a nice normal name to something so obscure it doesn't even look like the name if is pronounced as. Sod all to do with me, doesn't affect my life in any way yet it still grinds my gears!

People who put 800 leaflets through my door every week even after I bought a 'no leaflets/fliers" sign

Particularly the curry house around the corner who come every single fucking Thursday for 3 fucking years and put a menu through my bastarding door!
Trust me by now I know who you are! I know where you are! I know your number! I know your menu & prices by heart! So please next time you go to walk up my driveway swinging your little messenger bag full of paper, instead of cluttering up my porch with it would you do me a favour and just bend over and shove your fucking menu up your arsehole or I swear to God I will do it for you!

...ahh

Dog snoring at one end of the sofa. DH at the other. One or both farting. Relentlessly.

Miffed off because I asked my DM why she won't call my DS by his name - she always says "Little Man" or "LittleycafDS". She says there's too many of his name around, (it's not a very common name, but it's my uncles name and her best friends' 40yr old DS. Neither if whom we see an awful lot of). She thinks the shortened version is a dogs name. Have decided not to get annoyed in public as it will be become 'a thing'.

She's normally very straightforward and lovely!

Thanks Mum!

People who phone me St work and start the conversation with 'I don't want to disturb you but...' Then go on to have a silly trivial conversation. If you don't want to disturb me, THEN DON'T.

Right off to RTFT now, just needed to get that out.

I had reason to use a public toilet today and it was one of those bloody taps that you have to keep pressed to get any water out of, which means I have to rinse one hand, then put the rinsed hand on the soapy tap to rinse the other hand and then I have to rinse again! It was also too powerful so it splashed me and made me look as if I had wet myself!

I went into labour whilst shopping in Asda on Monday meaning the shopping gad to be abandoned. Now we are running out of everything and can't find the motivation/ time to do a big shop. (On the plus side I am now the proud mother of the most beautiful baby boy in the universe.)

I regularly pass the house of someone who was a candidate in the local elections in May. Two months later she still hasn't taken her "Vote For Me" sign down from her window.

It annoys me because it's like she's saying "Look everyone, I stood for election. I'm very important. Did I mention I stood for election?" And it just makes her look lazy.