British toilets are really badly designed, you can't poo without it ploping in water and splashing

[ethicsgalore]

I think toilets here are a really bad design. Why don't they have the style of toilet where you poo onto a slant without water and the hole is right at the front? I want to import a toilet. Fed up of making a nest out of paper that jams the system.

[MadAngryGnome]

Did you know you can flame clean a toilet?

However even the toilet guru on that page concludes flambèing the toilet isn't really worth the trouble outside of special occasions

[SunnyBaudelaire]

" I think British loos are among the best "

yes my mum had a French friend who used to rave about public loos in the UK compared to la France...

[TightWadBastard]

My daughter once fell down a Spanish loo when she was 6. I was sunbathng and heard "help, help" and all we could see were a head and arms & legs flailing about.

DH pulled her out. See, he isn't that bad.

[alrayyan]

British toilets are much better for sticky sloppy ones. Middle Eastern ones are nice and shallow and you can see what you did and they don't splash but they always leave skids.

[FiftyShadesOfSporn]

Classics.

Just that.

Classics.

[SilverNightFairy]

I mentioned once before, when I was pregnant with my ds some 19 years ago, I read this New Agey American pregnancy book which advocated making your bathroom a place of refuge if you had morning sickness. One of the recommendations included floating gorgeous blooms in the toilet so you would have something pretty to look at whilst vomiting...

I would venture toilet flaming would have been on the list..like light tiki torches or votive candles

[PatricianOfAnkhMorpork]

SistersofPercy yes that would be Mijas, high up in the mountains near Malaga. They have proper loos there now but still lots of donkey's that wear nappies.

[alrayyan]

Sorry have to give a mention to bum squirters. Europeans seem to be the only people not to have them. I couldn't be without one now. It's like a high pressure shower hose next to the toilet you wash with while on the loo. also v good for constipation. We have one in our house in Bournemouth as well! Our tenants must think wtf

[SignoraStronza]

My friend imported bargain loos when she had an extension. Little did she know that they were of the German variety that came complete with an inspection platform (or 'parcel shelf' as dh calls them.) She hates the things -the kids leave a terrible mess.

[Katedotness1963]

The first house we lived in in Germany had the shelf toilets. Those are not fun when you have small children who can't reach up to flush!

We lived in Sardinia and some of the bars and cafés had the hole in the ground type porcelain. You weren't supposed to flush paper down them so there was a bin in the loo. Summertime when the town was busy and the weather was hot I would walk home to use the toilet rather than suffer that horror...

[Topseyt]

Ahhh, a classic poo/toilet thread!!

I once lived in Germany for 6 months when I was a student, so had to get used to poo-shelf toilets. The ones in our halls of residence flushed very powerfully from the back. So powerfully that the poo would almost leap right up out of the toilet before landing again and being washed down in. The power flush really didn't stop skiddoes though.

Hole in the ground squat toilets in some countries are often quite an experience. I have seen them with sizeable brown mounds sticking up out of the hole occasionally. I don't like them largely because of that experience, but also because I have a dodgy knee and find them very hard to get up from.

Oh, and yes, the sewage system in some parts of Greece (we were in Corfu many years ago) cannot take toilet paper, so you have to put it in a bin beside the toilet. Our bog roll bin was like one of those lidded buckets used for soaking/sterilising terry nappies. At least it did have a lid.

Nothing wrong with a good old British toilet. As for plops and splashes, well who the hell cares anyway!

[SistersofPercy]

Patrician ahh! Thank you.
I bet it's beautiful, shame my memories of the place are a bit tainted

[RocknRollNerd]

I work for an international company that has staff from all over the world in their offices, different toilet habits and expectations can cause a lot of problems, not least the sanpro bins were being used for loo roll by lots of staff (I never dared enquire what was happening in the gents). In one of the Mediterranean offices there were signs in the ladies from the facilities mangers: toilet paper from your poo, that must go into the loo; tampons, pads and other things all should go into the bins!

[BeccaMumsnet]

Hello everyone.

It pains us to say this, but unfortunately this thread was started by a poster of the previously banned variety.

As you all know, we generally delete threads that are started by anyone trolling, but feel it would be a real shame to lose this one.

What do you all think?

[ScarySpiceMum]

Keep it - I thought i was the only one who thought any of this thoughts. That's the true essence of Mumsnet I suppose.

[DonkeyOaty]

I did wonder if pbp because prev, goady thread went pfft

I say pfft this one, too or all the pbps will be back hoping for glory

[FiftyShadesOfSporn]

Keep it. Forever.

[SunnyBaudelaire]

keep it - we need a good bog thread

[SkodaLabia]

Before this goes pfft, I'd like to make the following contributions:

1. the washing your arse and not having toilet paper scenario - surely that just leaves you with a wet arse and a wet hand covered in shit?
   
   
2. I've been to Mijas.

[SunnyBaudelaire]

I have never been to Mijas but may book a holiday there now.

[SkodaLabia]

This crime novel is set in Mijas. It was the goat what did it.

[windchime]

The hospital I work in has very old toilets; some of which have the inner ledge so that a bowl could be placed to catch a specimen. The filth accumulated on these shelves by the end of a shift does not bear thinking about.

[DowntownFunk]

I've been to Germany three times recently and have yet to come across a poo shelf ... feeling deprived

[Fatstacks]

I do like a nice shit shelf.

I did a poo in Vienna that I almost took a picture of it was that impressive.

[Iflyaway]

Very handy using a shelf loo for a pee when you notice your IUD has spontaneously ejected!!!