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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find this slogan annoying?

38 replies

ArmySal · 09/07/2015 02:03

Friend posted it tonight on her Facebook wall.
I've noticed a few different people have put it on theirs recently and the wording is annoying, to me at least.
She's been with her boyfriend for no more than 6 months.
So I told her ''you can't say they're better than a real dad, surely?'' and she now has the hump with me, claiming I have no idea because I've never had a step-dad and nor do my children.
Is it annoying, or do I not understand?

I am aware, of course, that some step-dads are better than the child's own father. Just not all, because they are a step-father.

AIBU to find this slogan annoying?
OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2015 02:11

It is annoying, and silly, because people are people. Some step dads are great, some dads are great, Some of both are shite. Makes me think your friend is trying to believe or prove something.

VashtaNerada · 09/07/2015 03:18

Wow, that's massively insulting to biological fathers! It's obviously different in every family.

ShadowFire · 09/07/2015 07:19

YANBU.

Annoying, and insulting to "real" dads who do step up. Some step dads will be better than the biological dad. Some biological dads will be better than the step dad.

Icimoi · 09/07/2015 07:21

It must be incredibly hurtful for biological fathers who are non-residential parents through no fault whatsoever of their own.

GoblinLittleOwl · 09/07/2015 07:27

Crass.

RainbowFlutterby · 09/07/2015 07:31

Very accurate in my life!

FarFromAnyRoad · 09/07/2015 07:33

It is annoying. It's clumsy, poorly worded and frankly untrue because it fails to include the word 'SOME'. It's the kind of sickly, ill thought out generalisation that has no place on a cheap card - never mind blaring from the front of a T Shirt.
Why not post a link to this thread on your FB then she can get pissed at all of us too!

fourtothedozen · 09/07/2015 07:35

Stupid.

Whathaveilost · 09/07/2015 07:40

My friend who is 50 posted this. In her case it is true. Her dad abandoned her and her mother. Her step dad has been around for 45 years and they both love each other to bits.

I think it was her way of appreciating him publicly.

fourtothedozen · 09/07/2015 07:43

I is possible to show appreciation without insulting others though.

ollieplimsoles · 09/07/2015 07:43

I agree with it, its true in my case. But its a but tacky and posting it on facebook just suggests she is trying to get back at her ex.

fourtothedozen · 09/07/2015 07:46

As others have said, some step Dads are crap, some read Dads are crap, some step Dads are great, some real Dads are great.

My own father was amazing, my good friend's step father sexually abused her. There are all kinds of fathers.

diddl · 09/07/2015 07:51

That is horrible imo.

And if the kids live with the step dad, well then it's easy for him to be there!

hackmum · 09/07/2015 08:01

That is horrible. Of course it will be true in some cases, but hardly in every case. Some biological dads don't "step down" - they would prefer to be with their children. Some step-dads are vile (children are more likely to be killed by a step-dad or mother's boyfriend than by any other person).

Notso · 09/07/2015 08:21

I've seen this twice FB and in both cases the Mum had left the Dad because they had being seeing the now stepdad. So it was completely untrue and yet another kick in the teeth for the Dads, I unfriended both of the posters.

Notso · 09/07/2015 08:23

Hmm being should be been.

popalot · 09/07/2015 08:24

It's a message to her dc's biological dad. A bit immature and shit stirry.

thenumberseven · 09/07/2015 08:27

YANBU Hate generalizations.
It's implying all non resident fathers have copped out and all step fathers are brilliant

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/07/2015 08:27

Step fathers are not superior beings. If a man is a decent man, he will be a good father, step, or otherwise.

Actually, the most dangerous thing that can happen to a child is to have a non-related man move into the family home.

Whenever you read about an abused or murdered child in the papers, it's invariably the step-father. :(

Obvious disclaimer: not all step-fathers are like that...

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/07/2015 08:28

X-posted with Hackmum.

roughtyping · 09/07/2015 08:32

thedowager Hmm no it's not 'invariably' the stepfather. I read more about mothers harming their children than step fathers.

While I agree with the sentiment (from my own experience with DS) it is really crass and obviously meant to make a point.

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/07/2015 08:51

I don't think so, roughty - do some googling if you don't believe it...

Samcro · 09/07/2015 08:55

yanbu
like a lot of the shared stuff it is crap

Teabagbeforemilk · 09/07/2015 09:01

A lot of stuff on fb is bollocks. My step dad ruined our lives. Best day ever when he walked out. So generalising the the title of step dad is ridiculous.

Also its a blatant attempt as shit stirring with her ex.

Besides which, if she has been with this man for 6 months its far too soon to be calling him step dad or to know whether he will actually step up when the honeymoon period wears off.

DrDre · 09/07/2015 09:10

I have a friend where this is the case. The biological dad fucked off when his partner was pregnant, and my friend has been with the mother since the boy was a toddler. He is, in all but the biological sense, his Dad.
I wouldn't wear / share something like this though - it is too much of a generalisation. It's obviously not true of all step Dads and all biological fathers.

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