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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that mother & baby spaces are for people with babies & small children?!

354 replies

cranberryx · 08/07/2015 19:12

Parked up at asda before work and low and behold what do I see?

3 vans, an elderly gentleman and a young couple all park up and get out of their vehicles and stroll into asda. Not one car seat, not one small child in sight!

I know it wasn't a busy time (8am) but still, I would be so peed off if I parked up with my little one and couldn't find a space with space to get a car seat out of etc!

Next time I might have a word! Or am I just being a grump!

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2015 17:01

P&C spaces aren't a necessity - but there are plenty of things in our lives nowadays that aren't necessities, but just make life a bit easier - can any of us honestly say that we only ever buy/possess/use things that are pure necessities and not luxuries or things to make life a bit more comfortable? I know I can't.

Yes, it is possible to squeeze a child into or out of their car seat in a normal car parking space, but what is wrong with giving parents with small children larger spaces so that they can get the child in or out more easily, and without risking damaging someone else's car, and with enough space to make sure they strap the child in properly?

And yes, many earlier generations of parents managed without them - but there are plenty of things that my parents managed without that most of us nowadays would hate to be deprived of - automatic washing machines, mobile phones, car seats, seat belts, power assisted steering, disposable nappies.... Are we going to give all of these up?

To be honest, a lot of the arguments against P&C parking spaces seem pretty mean to me, and smack of petty jealousy - how dare these parents think they should be allowed to have something to make life a bit easier, when I am not allowed to use it!!. It all seems a bit dog in the manger.

Giving parents with small children wider parking spaces takes next to nothing away from the rest of us - there may be a few less parking spaces in a big car park, but how often do most of us fail to find a parking space at all? The only time I remember going to the supermarket and the car park being completely full was one christmas.

It also makes it a bit safer for parents with small children if there is a protected walkway to the store. Clearly this is easier if they are placed with the disabled spaces, whose users need the walkway to the store. This is fine by me - I am fat, unfit, and find it hard to walk far, but I can walk a bit further from my car so that the P&C spaces and the disabled spaces can be near the walkway to the store.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 17:03

ruledby I think the only time in real life I've ever felt the need to approach a stranger over p&c spaces was when some lazy bint felt the need to tell a couple like your parents they shouldn't have taken the last p&c because she'd been forced to walk across the car park with her baby. I did actually think it was a one off moron, but unfortunately it appears it wasn't.

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 17:04

The point though is that, as long as they're by the door, those spaces are inaccessible to elderly people, people recovering from surgery etc so it is taking something away from others who actually need those spaces just as much (and more, in my opinion) than parents with small children.

Providing extra wide spaces in the main body of the car park is different. But even in that case, if the rest of the car park is full a driver without children should be perfectly entitled to park in them. Why should they go home without their shopping to facilitate a parent who hasn't even arrived in the car park yet?

differentlight · 09/07/2015 17:07

Yanbu
Give them a pointy look

Wagglebee · 09/07/2015 17:08

Can someone please tell me what an M & P space is? Confused

Hezaire · 09/07/2015 17:13

SDT.... I completely agree

itsmine · 09/07/2015 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teeste · 09/07/2015 17:27

Well, thank fuck for online grocery shopping, say I.

Hezaire · 09/07/2015 17:30

Where I live I would say that 9 out of ten car parks do have them. Even the tesco metro.

How would I cope otherwise Grin

MooMaid · 09/07/2015 17:35

STDG well said

Because even if we had OAP spaces you can bet there would be a thread about how there was a person who didn't look old enough to use it or even though elderly, the person looked able bodied so could've navigated the car park versus a frailer person. You cannot please everyone.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/07/2015 17:37

wagglebee do you know what a GF is too?

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 17:38

Given that there's usually at least twice as many parents with children in the supermarket anytime I'm there, than there are p&c spaces outside, I presume parents can manage perfectly adequately without them. If they were that concerned with the dangers of steering them across the car park, or rain falling on them, they would just go home and come back when a p&c space was available.

Also, what do they do when they need to shop in the high street, or visit a local hospital or library or somesuch? Why do they suddenly lose all capability the minute they're in a supermarket car park.

Also, I wonder how many of the parents who are worried about their children's safety in car parks are quite happy to park view blocking SUVs there, putting other shoppers (including children) at risk?

There is so much hypocrisy around these spaces, and so few people willing to admit they're just a marketing strategy that mean feck all really.

Icantstopeatinglol · 09/07/2015 17:40

I honestly don't understand why people get so worked up and angry because people actually want to use the 'Parent and Child' spaces for 'Parents and Children'?? What is the problem! The whole point is because people usually have to get babies out of the car in car seats etc and they don't want to damage theirs or anyone else's car with the car door. It's not about priority or any other crap that people are spouting off about it's about making things a little bit easier for people. Why does that annoy people so much. I would have no problem a disabled person using the spaces either but most the places I've been have plenty of disabled spaces so it's never been a problem I've come across often. It's usually people using them for no other reason than they want to.
Plus, people saying 'they didn't have them in my day' means absolutely jack all! They didn't have a lot of things years ago, doesn't mean you should begrudge what people have been provided with these days.

Goldmandra · 09/07/2015 17:45

Canin you are a twat bringing kids names into it

Are there really children called Chardonnay?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2015 17:48

Itsmine - like I said, there are lots of things we could manage without, and do, in some circumstances - does that mean we should do without them in all circumstances? I don't think so.

I would hope that, if someone saw you helping your mum out of the car, in a P&C space, they would see that her need was genuine, and wouldn't tut or make comment - I certainly wouldn't. If it was my elderly, frail mum, I would try to see another solution - I'd make sure dh or one of the dses was with us, so she could be dropped off near the store or wherever, and someone could stay with her whilst dh or I parked the car. That wouldn't work all the time, of course, nor for everyone. But it is how we coped when we were driving my MIL to places, during her last ever visit to us, when terminal cancer had turned her from someone who could walk further and faster than me to someone who needed help to walk pretty much anywhere outside the house.

Maybe we should campaign for Disabled spaces, P&C spaces, and the 'priority spaces others have mentioned on here - for people who don't fit in the other categories but have temporary or permanent conditions meaning these spaces would be useful.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2015 17:49

Begrudging - yes, that's the word I was searching for, Icantatopeatinglol.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 17:50

'I would have no problem a disabled person using the spaces either'
How very noble spirited and community minded of you.

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 17:58

I don't agree it's 'begrudging'. It's unease at a perfectly fit group of people deeming themselves deserving of a space at the door, while elderly people get no such concession.
Very few people have argued against extra wide spaces for parents and others lifting equipment or heavy boxes etc out of a car.
It's the fact that they're at the door that other people 'begrudge', and with good reason.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 09/07/2015 18:00

I'm thinking of campaigning to swap the BB and p&c parking spots over at my local Sainsburys. The BB spots aren't far away from the shop, but all the p&c spots are nearer, literally right by the door. The irony of it is, the trolleys aren't right by the door, so you have to walk anyway. Pointless.
People with BB's need to be nearer to the shop than I do.
I would honestly be happy to have the p&c parking much further away, they'd probably get abused less. It's the width that makes them useful to me, not the proximity to the shop. TWICE I have had the next to car (when not in a p&c bay) drive off, nearly hitting me and my open car door. I've had people half pull into an empty bay next to me whilst I have been mid way through getting my child out and then lean on the horn. Pardon me for not wanting to park my buggy and small child in the flow of traffic.

itsmine · 09/07/2015 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2015 18:07

Daisywellies - do parents with children deem themselves more deserving of a space 'near the door', or do they need and want larger spaces, possibly with a protected walkway to the store? I think it is the space and the safety that are the issues, and if they can walk safely to the store, most would have little or no issue with the spaces being further away - it's the car park designers/the supermarkets who put the spaces near the store.

At one Tesco I used to use regularly, the disabled spaces were right outside the door of the store, and the P&C spaces were round the side of the store - further from the door of the store than lots of normal spaces (but still with a safe walkway, round the side of the store) - as a mum of young children, I had no problem with that, and I never heard anyone else complain. Maybe that's the solution - keep P&C spaces, but put them round the side of the shop.

mewkins · 09/07/2015 18:15

I also get annoyed OP. They are useful for me as it means I can get a small child and a baby out of the car without risk of clonking the car next to me. When dd was 2 or 3 she had form for legging it across the car park so the spaces at the local supermarket meant she was more contained. I get annoyed when I see parents with teens using them. I have problem with elderly people of people who have trouble getting in and out of cars for whatever reason using them. I guess vans use them because the spaces are larger.

Icantstopeatinglol · 09/07/2015 18:20

Lurkedforever What was wrong with me saying that?? Oh sorry should I have had a problem with a disabled person parking in a parent and child space! Oh yea hang on I get it, doesn't matter what I say you obviously won't like it. I'll never sleep tonight! Grin

Icantstopeatinglol · 09/07/2015 18:22

But they're spaces provided by the supermarkets etc. if people have a problem with them take that up with them not the people trying to park. I would be happy if the spaces were parked further away, it's just the extra room which is of help.

downgraded · 09/07/2015 18:43

Christ how is it that these threads can get to over 200 posts on a weekly basis?!

Same arguments, same points, same to and fro. Bloody hell Shock