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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that mother & baby spaces are for people with babies & small children?!

354 replies

cranberryx · 08/07/2015 19:12

Parked up at asda before work and low and behold what do I see?

3 vans, an elderly gentleman and a young couple all park up and get out of their vehicles and stroll into asda. Not one car seat, not one small child in sight!

I know it wasn't a busy time (8am) but still, I would be so peed off if I parked up with my little one and couldn't find a space with space to get a car seat out of etc!

Next time I might have a word! Or am I just being a grump!

OP posts:
OhMittens · 09/07/2015 22:24

daisy you're coming across as someone trying to stir up trouble.

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 22:25

No I'm not Mittens. I'm someone who's querying your comments. Making provocative remarks and then accusing anyone who questions them of 'stirring up trouble' is somewhat disingenuous.

EllieFAntspoo · 09/07/2015 22:30

I am not saying BB holders should not use PC parking bays. BB holders should park wherever they damn well please. That is the way the law is written (provided it does not obstruct or endanger).

My point is, the majority of PC bay's in my experience are used by regular people who couldn't give a flying F about children, have no children with them, and believe they have a right to tell parents who need these spaces to FO on grounds of class and the greater importance of their convenience over someone else's child's safety or need.

I'm not knocking BB holders. I'm knocking the yummy scummy mummy/daddy brigade in their 4x4s who believe that because little Terence and Gemima have been dropped of at school, they still have the right to use parent and child on ground that they managed to procreate.

Maybe your local supermarket only has a conflict between the odd be gruntled parent wondering why someone in a wheelchair is using 'their' parking spavpce, and if that's the case, it's petty. But in the supermarkets it's a case that you can't park in PC because of all the women with their fantasy invisible children abusing it.

And from the content of the thread, it seems there is a lot of supper top for those who abuse PC parking. I don't get it. Maybe someone could explain.

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 22:31

Ruled a friend of mine was spitting blood recently because she let go of her toddler's hand, toddler ran across the car park and a woman 'deliberately' kept reversing out on top of her. Eh no, she couldn't see her and it was 'your' responsibility to keep hold of her.

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 22:32

Ellie, what has 'class' got to do with it? I haven't seen that either mentioned or implied on here.

FanFuckingTastic · 09/07/2015 22:34

They're a convenience. I like convenient things, it makes things a bit easier.

I don't get upset when convenient things aren't available, although I do have a little grump to myself about it. But then I carry on, because I can still achieve the same thing, even if it's not as straightforward as it was with the convenience.

Having a moan is one thing, taking offensive action because you didn't get to have the convenient thing this time around because someone else got there first is a bit entitled.

Yes they are lovely to have, P&C spaces, but they aren't there out of necessity and everyone would mostly cope if they weren't available and every one was filled with people using them correctly (parents and children of suitable age). We'd still cope.

So I don't agree with challenging people in P&C spaces. It's first come, first served, and sometimes you get one, sometimes you don't. Thinking you have more right to the space than someone else is pretty entitled.

Parking in a P&C space when you really don't need it, is a bit inconsiderate, but often you may not be able to see the reason why someone needed the space, so I'd rather have a "expect the best, plan or be prepared for the worst" attitude towards people and think to myself that perhaps today they needed it more than I did, and I did get here second, so nevermind.

It doesn't need to be this big issue, because you can be sure about one thing, the people parked inconsiderately are investing as much emotion into this matter as you are, and is it really worth the stress?

FanFuckingTastic · 09/07/2015 22:36

*aren't investing as much

Mehitabel6 · 09/07/2015 22:38

It isn't worth the stress. Nice if there is a space, but assume there might not be one and park elsewhere. I can't see the point is getting worked up about it.

OhMittens · 09/07/2015 22:41

daisy.

1). Why not ask ilovesooty what they meant as they are the poster making the assumption that elderly find it difficult to negotiate car park traffic. My response was an "IF" response. No mention of it being a fact,

2). I take offence that you have stated elderly people are "unstable" on their feet and that elderly "who aren't nimble on their feet are not mentally capable of driving a car" and have projected that onto me. YOU are actually the one with that "depressing attitude".

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 22:44

No Ohmittens. We are making the point that elderly people are often not as nimble on their feet as younger people (that's a fact) so could usefully avail of a space by the door.
You said that maybe if they were vulnerable to traffic in a car park they shouldn't be driving at all. That's what is depressing. Just because elderly people are physically not as swift as they used to be doesn't mean that they cannot be safely allowed to drive.

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 22:45

And where did I state that 'elderly who aren't nimble on their feet are not mentally capable of driving a car'. I said that was what you were implying in your post.

Ruledbycatsandkids6 · 09/07/2015 22:52

Daisy you come across as eminently sensible to me.

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 22:54

Thanks Ruled Smile.

Ruledbycatsandkids6 · 09/07/2015 22:57

And yes honestly it really pisses me off when people say they need these spaces as they effectively can't control their children. That's just crap parenting.

Cat poo anyone? Mils? A wedding thread? Grin

OhMittens · 09/07/2015 23:03

daisy we are going round in circles here. I never mentioned mobility whatsoever. I used the word "vulnerable". You have projected mobility issues onto my name, onto my post, by saying it was "implied".

It's not just mobility issues that (YOU SAY, NOT ME) elderly people might (MIGHT, not DO) suffer from. "Vulnerable" to car park traffic" could (COULD, not DOES) mean vision impairment, or having slower reaction times to traffic. You might not need to be "nimble on your feet" to be a good driver but you do need vision and reactions within parameters suitable for driving. Some elderly people have no vision or reaction issues at all and that's great, but as a fact, as we get older, those abilities can (CAN not necessarily DO) deteriorate.

However. Back to my original point which you have avoided time and again. Why not ask ilovesooty what they meant originally?

OhMittens · 09/07/2015 23:05

Ruled you come across as eminently fawning to me.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 23:09

mittens you come across as eminently entitled to me

Icantstopeatinglol · 09/07/2015 23:12

Lurkedforever what has mittens said that comes across as entitled?

Ruledbycatsandkids6 · 09/07/2015 23:20

Yes mittens dear it's what I do fawn over complete strangers off the internet.

You may need to watch your personal attacks my love they arnt allowed you know.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 23:28

Paraphrasing here but basically that the walkways across the car park are perfectly fine for those who walked/ used public transport to get there, but if you drive there you need to be near the door for safety, that elderly people that struggle to walk the car park perhaps shouldn't be driving, that the shop has provided them for the safety of her children, that parents need them, etc etc. certainly not the only person with those views but greenhouses etc

BigRedBall · 09/07/2015 23:31

I have 3 children aged 7, 3 and 1. I used to tut and give death stares to people without children parking in p&c places. But by the time dc3 came along, I asked myself..."why do people with children NEED to be near the shop doors and have special spaces?" I can easily remove my children and a pushchair from the car in a normal space. If it's raining and we end up walking 5m extra by not parking in a p&c place, it's fine; we won't dissolve.

I feel embarrassed for the death stares I've given in the past. Parking in a normal spaces further away from the shop is great.

ilovesooty · 09/07/2015 23:31

I meant that it is quite possible that some elderly people, possibly passengers in vehicles, might benefit from being near the door if they struggle with traffic across the car park. Some of those people might have impaired hearing, or might not be nimble enough to get out of the way quickly.
I don't see why mittens is taking exception to that.

OhMittens · 09/07/2015 23:35

You've missed a lot, ilovesooty.

Daisy is taking exception to that.

Over to you, Daisy!!!

OhMittens · 09/07/2015 23:35

Ruled feel free to report my message!

yumyumpoppycat · 09/07/2015 23:38

Mittens you did say it at 21:39

"Ilovesooty If an elderly person is vulnerable to car park traffic, are they actually safe to drive in the first place"