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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that mother & baby spaces are for people with babies & small children?!

354 replies

cranberryx · 08/07/2015 19:12

Parked up at asda before work and low and behold what do I see?

3 vans, an elderly gentleman and a young couple all park up and get out of their vehicles and stroll into asda. Not one car seat, not one small child in sight!

I know it wasn't a busy time (8am) but still, I would be so peed off if I parked up with my little one and couldn't find a space with space to get a car seat out of etc!

Next time I might have a word! Or am I just being a grump!

OP posts:
OhMittens · 09/07/2015 20:35

Sirzy Well......... Smile

Icantstopeatinglol · 09/07/2015 20:35

Why are they so bad though? I don't get the issue? They're there for childrens safety. Simple as that. How can anyone have such a problem with it. I don't understand at all.

itsmine · 09/07/2015 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icantstopeatinglol · 09/07/2015 20:43

itsmine so should people just not use them?

NinkyNonkers · 09/07/2015 20:44

My issue is that they are in the wrong place. They should be at the far end, where they are not tempting to those who don't need them, and are not taking up space near the doors which is needed more by others.

maggiethemagpie · 09/07/2015 20:46

I do hate it when parent and child car park spaces are referred to as 'mother and child' spaces. Especially on mumsnet. Because a dad can't be the one looking after the kids can he? Y'know. Equality and all that. Won't ever happen out there until it happens in the home first.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 20:46

icant if you've read my earlier posts you'll see I've said I have used them sometimes for their correct purpose. But I admitted it was purely cos i couldn't be bothered walking, heavy rain, time constraints etc, not for some bullshit excuse of struggling with a baby/ toddler or inability to open my car door. So because when I was feeling lazy etc but just also happened to have child in the correct age range with me I used them, I think it would be hypocritical of me to object to anybody else using them for the same reasons, i.e laziness, time etc just because they haven't happened to bring a child with them.
By all means if they're there and free use them, I have no objection. But nobody should be pretending it's for any other reason than laziness or convenience, not all this bollocks about car doors and danger. And if I had an nt child, or more than one that I couldn't safely control across the length of a car park I'd be too busy worrying about my parenting ability to worry about who used which parking space

Sallystyle · 09/07/2015 20:46

I used one today when I went to Aldi.

I was with my 16 year old son.

Sorry.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 20:51

They aren't there for childrens safety. The shop really couldn't give a monkeys. They are there because the shop wants your money, and a bit of market research shows pandering to a certain type of parents entitlement is a good way to get them to hand over cash.

Icantstopeatinglol · 09/07/2015 20:52

Lurkedforever ok. I've used them because sometimes people don't drive safetly and I would rather not be walking around a car park with my dc so if the option is there I'll use it. Also when dc were babies there were times when I literally couldn't get the car seat back in as someone had parked too close. Nothing wrong with my parenting skills I just don't trust other people. Agree to disagree tho, everyone's entitled to their opinion.

Wagglebee · 09/07/2015 20:55

Mother & pram?
Maternity & parent? Mother & pregnant?

Still no clue but more bothered by being called a goady fucker (I think) for no reason whatsoever.

Fanjo I don't have children. I don't even drive. I do have an invisible illness which means I often can't walk very far so I have noticed the parent and child spaces, but know nothing about them or have an opinion on who should use them. Another poster used the initials 'M&P' and I didn't know what that stood for. I assumed it was another term for 'C&P' so I asked what it meant. I have no intention ever of being a goady fucker, (if that's what 'a GF' means), I don't have the energy. It you were referring to me then you're wrong.

lavenderhoney · 09/07/2015 20:58

It would have been more useful for me when very heavily pregnant to have been able to use them. With my ginormous bump I was often trapped in the car or parked purposely in an empty part or came back to it to find cars neatly parked either side, but owning to my huge bump I couldn't get the door open wide enough to get in.

And no, I didn't open the boot and scramble in over the back seats. People were very kind and moved the car for me. Once I had a baby and was heavily pregnant it was fine. I could park in the special place that makes life easier.

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 21:00

Oh given your concerns about your children's safety in car parks, can I presume that when a P&c space isn't available you go home? I mean if you really think there is a real danger to your children in having to walk across the car park, the I assume you just wouldn't risk it?

EllieFAntspoo · 09/07/2015 21:00

In my experience, the worst offenders of parent and child parking at supermarkets are women who believe that because they were once able to bear a child they should be able to continue to use priveliged parking imperpetuity. I've been standing at my car and the woman next to me has said to her husband, "I keep forgetting we don't have Ashley with us." Or the
'parent' pulls up and her teenagers pile out of the car before she's managed to get the hand break on.

Supermarkets should photograph parent space abusers and post them on their website using the spaces with no children, or scrap them altogether and let everyone find their own space. That would solve the problem.

Goshthatsspicy · 09/07/2015 21:03

waggle mother and parent :)
Don't worry, l can see you only asked a question. Flowers

Goshthatsspicy · 09/07/2015 21:04

Hang on.
Where Oh where is op though?

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 21:04

And I would genuinely like to know how many of the mums coming on here po faced and lecturing about the safety of their children in car parks quite happily park obstructive view blocking 4x4s in those same car parks.

ASettlerOfCatan · 09/07/2015 21:06

Yes if you have a frikkin teenager with you I will tut on a good day and calmly and loudly ask what the hell you are doing on a bad one...

Icantstopeatinglol · 09/07/2015 21:09

daisy that's a bit of a sweeping statement from you? I only know a few parents who have 4x4s....the rest have 'normal' cars Shock

kungfupannda · 09/07/2015 21:09

I don't get the level of hysteria about these spaces. It's only the supermarkets round here that have them. There are none in any of the town centre car parks, or at the leisure centre, or at any attractions, or at the retail park, and people seem to manage to get children in and out of cars without any problems.

If there's a space free, use it. If there's not, shrug and move on. It's as if by inventing these spaces, suddenly a need for them has been invented too.

It would be better if they had the disabled spaces closest to the shop, followed by a row of wide spaces - not marked for any purpose, but wide enough for people with children, or mobility problems to find it a bit easier. If someone really felt the need for a wide space, they could wait for one to come free, and be able to park in it whatever their circumstances. If they felt they could manage without it, they could go and park somewhere else.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 21:10

icant parenting skills wasn't directed at you, it was a general reply to those saying they needed to be near the door because they can't control their kids. And I get the point about you not trusting drivers, I agree many are arses and your kids are precious. But that same principle applies through their entire life, my 11yr old at my side in a car park is just as vulnerable to a moronic driver as your much younger child in your arms or at your side, and she's just as precious to me. But life is full of risks and much as I can see why any parent wants to reduce any risk to their child, on the other hand if you don't ever teach them how to deal with risk I'd argue they are more vulnerable. And given it is a car park we're talking about, not an airport runway, it's not an unacceptable risk. Or where do you draw the line? Cos there's no age where your child suddenly becomes less precious

kungfupannda · 09/07/2015 21:10

Actually, I tell a lie. Homebase has a whole row of them for some reason. They're always empty.

daisywellies · 09/07/2015 21:11

Do you know what a 'sweeping statement' means Icant. Because I certainly didn't make one.

ASettlerOfCatan · 09/07/2015 21:12

P&C spaces have no rules usually. They are a convenience and not a right, as are disabled spaces. Some supermarkets will embarrass people into moving over the tannoy but most will ignore as they can't afford to/can't be bothered to police it. It's very much a trust system which is why it's abused so much.

I am pretty sure that a supermarket car park is private land so trying to enforce these things is no more legal than the parking tickets everyone contests.

willbillycome · 09/07/2015 21:13

I haven't read all of this thread, but can imagine it's gone the way all the others do...

imo if the supermarkets made all of their spaces a decent size where you don't have to be a supermodel to exit your car or use the sunroof it would be better. around us asda is the worst, I think they found out the width of an average car and then made the spaces 5cm smaller than that Grin